NobbyNobbs
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Posts posted by NobbyNobbs
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The uni I go to is a rather noisy place, I forgot that they make a big deal about people socialising and such. You can't walk across campus without having quite a few leaflets about something to do with drinking shoved in your hand. I tend to go to classes and then go straight home, I have talked to a few people from my course, enough for a course rep (which I somehow got talked into) to get by. If I do stay at uni after class I tend to go to the library or the faith centre (the octagon). The only two places that I've managed to find a suitable amount of quiet to escape to.ahh the leaflets. i look about as anti-social as is possible, and still they shove them in my hand. i dont drink. i dont go to noisy clubs. so now i go the other way round a building just to avoid another 5 leaflets encouraging those things being shoved in me hands.
our library is too small for the number of students because the university expands, but theres no more building room to put a bigger library. i got offered keys to a private room up there that is used by students with concentration and learning difficulties as a silent room. i didn't take it up as it was almost the end of the year and i didn't have a lot of work to do, but perhaps your university has something like that that would be even better than the main library?
my disability office is great. i went to them after being rebuffed by four doctors about having AS, and then seeing a psychiatric nurse who said she didn't know about it and would ask her friends (which i took literally and got very upset about). they paid for me to see a psychiatrist, and then fiddled the funding to get a full educational psychologist assessment by pretending i was dyslexic... by the end of the tests they didn't need to pretend, turns out i am! they're now doing their best to make sure i can graduate at some point, and dont go mad in the process, but times running out as my official graduation date is monday!
i think the only good time i've had at university was first year. there were more class hours, and i lived in halls which seemed to meet my crazy needs. i made actual friends and had a fantastic time. second year i dropped out from depression, third year half was spent being bullied by someone on my floor of halls, and half was in america which was amazing. fourth i've spent living in a 'house' in the room next to a drug addict who pushes me into walls everytime we meet on the stairs or hallway. i complained to the university, they said that there was nothing they could do as it was his word agains mine. he attacked another person in the house with a frying pan... and was given a slapped wrist and told to behave!
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The Road - Cormac McCarthy, Priestess of the White - Trudi Canavan and multiple terry pratchetts. The Road is a re-read cos i thought it was a fantastic book, if a bit depressing.
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May I suggest you try and engage with the University to meet your specific needs. Do you have a DX in place, it would the vehicle to engage with the University. Try and hang in there and negotiate with them as to your accomodation and delivery of the course assistance you need.Kinda
i have enough of a diagnosis for the university, and they are sort of helping... i'm meant to be graduating on monday but since my diagnosis ive asked to have my coursework for this term delayed until next year, and one of my exams also delayed because i have no notes for the subject. theyre being pretty helpful now they know they have to be
however to get the funding for all the support and software i have to be studying at the university, so it looks like i'm going to be spending more time away from home, which is just not good. ive got a dx of AS and dyslexia, so the educational psychologist said that i needed tutor hours as well as software to teach me how to work round the problems i have with writing. i hate that i only have 6 hours of class a week. i spend the rest of the week having nothing to do so i get into bad habits!
*Nods Churchill dog style, very vigorously* I'm at PhD level, and the assessment and particular course requirements are, literally, killing me
I hate so much that I can do the work but am not allowed to show what I can do and this is now being used against me as 'proof' I can't do what I want to do i know! its just insane that we're generally very clever people, but because we dont work like others we get told we can't do things. although i have to say when i had my ed. psych assessment she suddenly started talking about postgraduate work and how i could do whatever i wanted and at that point i wasn't even going to graduate ever! it was quite nice to meet someone who was enthusiastic about me doing something rather than not doing it.
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i'm trying to guage other AS peoples time at university. i really struggle with living away from home and also cannot do the written assignments or take notes in class because i dont know what i'm meant to write. i'm getting help for this now (supposedly) but i wanted to know if anyone else found university really difficult to cope with. academically i find the work easy - in that i can understand it and learn it, but i can't do the writing so i tend towards underachieving massively.
i'm in my 4th year, and spent 6 months in an american university. i got full marks for everything and had a fantastic time because its very structured - a bit like going back to primary school! this has made the british system seem so much worse because now i know i CAN do it. its the style of education thats wrong.
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yeah. some people are great but... this person knew me long before i was diagnosed when i was just a freak so to speak (heh), and is having trouble getting her head round the fact that its not through anything i'm doing that i'm like this. and some of it isn't going to change because i'm not going to get better
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my 8 and 9 year old sisterss get �2.50 a week, which is the 'official' allowance for their age. then they also get money monthly from their family. the 8 year old has just developed a thing for lego and is saving for a big house set. the 9 year old never spends hers. she deoesn't know what to do with it and doesn't seem to be too interested so it gets saved up for holidays and day trips when we can direct her towards things that are suitable.
if /when i have a job i will have to pay 'rent' to my parents (i'm 22) to cover a little of my food expenses. they buy my clothes and things as well, or i'd never buy any, so its calculated to be the correct percentage of the money i have that a normal person would spend on food, clothes and household expenses. in return they pay for holidays and so on as if i was a child. i feel this is fair as they pay a lot to look after me, and i'm well beyond the age when they should be expected to do so.
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a friend of mine just had this conversation with me, and i thought it was a pretty good summation of peoples attitudes to the problems of AS
ME (02:15:31): i dont like cars because i worry we're gonna crash
HER (02:15:50): you have the worst life ever
HER (02:15:54): it would suck to be you
ME (02:15:58): why?
HER (02:16:05): your'e scared of everything
HER (02:16:08): won't do anything
HER (02:16:09): have no life
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when i was in primary school we had what i called rubbish day. we had a non-competitive sports day where we were split into teams, then into little groups and had to go round activities and try our best. then at the end the scores would be added and the team with the highest won. although not really a proper sports day it was good because there wasn't screaming or cheering, and you never raced against anyone else, you just did your own thing. they even threw in activity ones like to make a paper aeroplane and things so the non-sporty kids could have a break because it lasted all day. having now been to my younger siblings competitve sports days i can see the merits of both ways, but preferred my rubbish one, purely because it was less noisy, and you got to do a lot more things, but if you were rubbish at something it didn't really matter as noone was paying too much attention but odds were there was something you could be good at.
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in my first year at uni i was on the 9th floor of the halls building and the alarm would go off every single night. we had to evacuate to a lecture room across campus, and it'd take about an hour to get the whole process done. i got so worked up about the alarm that in the end i refused to go to bed until it was light because the alarm had always gone off at night. they're horrible alarms because they're so noisy and theres lots of pressure to get out quick and all.
when i was in halls in america we had to complete a fire drill where everyone in the building had to be out within 2 minutes, the rooms were then searched and if anyone hadn't gone out we failed and had to repeat the drill until we got it right. that was another nightmare because i was at the mercy of the other 200 people in the building, and we failed 3 times before we got it right!
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it is possible to drop a non-core subject (such as business studies). lower ability students often get entered for as few as 4 or 5 GCSEs anyway, so it shoudln't be a problem to drop an option as long as you can find a good suggestion for what she'll do in those spare class hours - such as using the time to complete coursework in the library perhaps. english, maths science are the only ones they HAVE to have you entered for in some form. stick with it and make sure they understand its not because shes lazy and can'tbe bothered.
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i'm for metal detectors. i lived near washington DC and to gain access to shopping malls, office buildings, museums... pretty much anywhere public you had to go through airport-style security. you went through a metal scanner, and your bag was searched. there weren't hour-long lines, you just got used to taking off your belt and having your bag open when you got to the entrance of anywhere. it made me feel a lot safer, and as far as i was aware noone complained.
theres far too much 'but what if people dont' like it?' going round at the moment. if its the rules, its the rules and people should just get over it. if you're innocent and not carrying a weapon, you've got nothing to fear, and if you are carrying a weapon then you shouldn't have the right to complain. at the end of the day they're breaking a law!
i also had the pleasure(!) of going through the new strip you naked body scanner at heathrow. it wasn't particularly, fun, in fact it felt rather creepy to have someone sitting behind a partition who could see it all, but again, i then knew that there wasn't anyone carrying anything dangerous on my flight. a bit of inconvienience is far better than a bomb or a knife.
oh and some good old fashioned parenting and education would go a long way:D saying that parenting isn't the right way to go because it doesn't have an instant effect is all well and good, but the kids are growing up all the time and this years sweet 6 year olds are soon going to be the weapon wealders.
rant over
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after many hours searching i've found a company that will do individual orders on furniture for secure units and care homes. one of their ranges includes really good safety features and is designed to stand up to serious abuse - they list anti-ligature rails as one of the special features of the wardrobe! ive sent off for a brochure because the website isn't particularly good or clear, but the prices aren't worse than buying quality furniture so its looking promising.
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no point to this beyond that i need to complain.
outside my house there is a large open area used by busses to turn and today there are live bands and dj's there to celebrate the end of the school year. which is probably really nice for everyone else, but its driving me nuts. theres too much noise, too many different kinds of noises and i cant get away from it without going out and i'm REALLY meant to be cleaning my room, which is another tast i'm rubbish at because i have no idea what to do, what order to do it in and usually just stand in the middle of the rooom for a while then give up cos i can't work out what to do. not a good combination.
anyway, thats all i wated to say so... back to staring at the mess and trying not to get freaked out about germs
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i'm in more or less the same boat as you at the moment. i've had a session with a psychiatrist who gave me a working diagnosis of Asperger syndrome, and ive had the IQ test you talked about the WAIS III. however the WAIS was only because i'm at university so they needed to assess any support i needed i believe. i'm now waiting for a formal assessment and diagnosis. so far i've got the referral to the centre and now am waiting for the funding to be okayed. the process for adult diagnosis for AS is long and very frustrating because everything is set up for children. in my very limited experience your best bet is to go onto the NAS website and start researching diagnosis centres near you, and other support groups as those people will have the best advice on how to speed things up
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Ever thought of buying them a trampoline? It might be just a sensorial issue instead of 'protest'.they have a trampoline and... they broke it!
unfortunately with her, its part of her Attachment disorder that she's fairly keen on expressing her disgust at situations in way she thinks will get to us. and because of the RAD she wont accept it was in any way her fault, so reasoning doens't work. so now the kids are banned from the trampoline and i get to have it to myself. bright side to everything... -
i wasn't diagnosed as a child, but for the following reason i'd say tell her. for as long as i can remember i knew i was different from other kids. i grew up thinking that i was going to be a serial killer or something because there was something wrong with me and i didn't know what it was, but i could feel it.
as for grandparents, my mom has had great fun telling everyone she knows, and the majority of them have been interested and said it explained a lot. my mothers side of the family now want a sit-down with me to discuss how they can help! (my idea of a nightmare so i'm putting that one off) do your family fully understand what AS is and how much it affects people with it? it does have a stigma of being an 'excuse' for naughty kids so perhaps giving them some info on it might help.
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its for me, and as an adult i get royally somethinged as there are pretty much no services for adults (dont get me started on why i'm an adult and only now getting diagnosed!). so i used the NAS website to find the nearest diagnostic centre, and got my GP for refer me. now they've called back saying to get it done i need funding and i have to apply to the primary care trust who will vote on it or something. i have some form of diagnosis from a 2 hours psychiatrist thing, and then an educational psychologist confirmed my performance and verbal IQ things match the AS style, but this doesn't seem to be enough? both of those were paid for privately by my universities lovely disability office although the psychiatrist works part time private, part time NHS. so far the input from the NHS has been a GP who said that AS was an excuse and the kids just needed a slap... even though i'm not a kid and got plenty of slaps when i was one!
what happens in child diagnosis? i guess this seems quite important to me because based on my reading and what the people in the know have said my AS is actually on the bad side rather than the good, and after 22 years of struggling i want a solid reason so i can start working round it all.
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thats the problem... social services do come round
they're in foster care so there are RULES about these things. also the two girls share a room, but only one is destructive for the main part, so we cant punish the other one by taking away furniture when she didn't do anything wrong. we've told the bed wrecker that if she breaks the bunkbeds she'll have to have a normal bed, and then all furniture will go simply because there wont be room for it, but she knows we have another set of bunkbeds so she doesn't really think we'd do it. i've already switched rooms with them because their new room has a built in wardrobe, they used the one in the old room to pretend they were going into Narnia... by taking the back off it and literally jumping straight through!ive found a comany that maufactures tough university and care home furniture, but i somehow doubt they're up for an order for 1 set of drawers and a bedside table. social services ought to have a contract with a company so households can order furniture that'll last if they have kids with behavioural problems, there's got to be an awful lot of families in the same boat.
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the other thing to bear in mind is that an awful lot of the kids you compare your own to are overweight! my little sisters are both 3rd centile for both height and weight, and look rediculous next to the rest of the kids in the class as an awful lot of them are rather chubby, but apart from being small (but they're catching up fast, one has grown 2 shoe sizes and a full double-age clothes size in 6 months!) they're perfectly healthy as long as their height and weight is in balance and they're growing.
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when i'm having a good day i sleep 10-6, a middle day is 4-8 and a bad day is not at all. i have a bizarre fear of going to sleep and then not knowing if something bad happens. i think it stems from not being told about the 9/11 attacks until i came out of school. i can't seem to get my head round something 'big' happening and not knowing about it. this affacts my ability to sleep somewhat, but i'd be lying if i said it was the whole reason. mostly i dont sleep because i'm too busy doing other things! majority of my friends are in america so the time difference means i stay up to talk to them when i should be sleeping. when i lived in america i slept like a log from 10-6 every day!
i seem to need quite a lot of sleep, but i think thats mostly down to being permanently stressed. when i was younger i only slept about 5 hours, but was put to bed at 8 and now allowed up until 6:30, so i became a professional at reading under the blankets!
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does anyone know anywhere to get furniture that is tough enough to stand up to violent/destructive children?
we have to glue the set of drawers in the kids room back together weekly, but can't find anything to replace it with as i refuse to spend money on another thing they'll just break. they're in bunk beds and the latest sport is to jump up and down on the top bunk in protest to whatever injustice they feel has been dealt on them, but its only time before they move back to smashing up the wardrobe and drawers!
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my little clothes picker will chew/tear at her clothes if she's stressed or bored. one day she took a new coat to school and came back with a carrier bag of shredded fabric. i dread to think what goes on in the school that they dont notice a child shredding their coat to that extent! she now shreds kitchen roll for the hamster if she's stressed at home, and sees it as a big treat because she then gets to put it in the cage. this is a huge treat for her because she's not allowed to touch the hamster or the cage normally. if we're out, we just grit our teeth and watch as the clothes get destroyed, but make sure she understands after why she did it, and that its not acceptable behaviour. we originally tried punishing her for it as it is a naughty behaviour, but this just made it happen more often.
if she has sensory issues and dislikes holes and loose threads because they feel funny (i can completely understand that, i HATE those socks with all the fuzzy bits inside), then it may be best to take her to a clothes shop, go through the options of clothing and get her to see she has options, but has to pick one and then not destroy them. although this is probably annoying to you, better quality clothes generally feel better on the skin, and this may be another thing to talk through with her. i get lots of cheap 'funny' socks at christmas, but almost always can't wear them because they have loose threads or are made of scratchy fabric. does she have enough understanding to accept that if she breaks ezpensive things, she'll have to have 'nasty' cheap things? when iwas little my parents made a compromise with me that i would wear the clothes they chose, but that i could choose my socks. it meant that i'd go out of the door in a beautiful white dress and lime green and blue socks, but it meant i could focus on my feet not feeling horrible, even if the rest of me did.
hope something iv'e said helps
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thanks! i'm going to completely put it out of my mind for the 4 weeks, then if it still isn't done i'll let myself get stressy if i'm not too busy!
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how long on average does it take to hear back about your first DLA application? i'm not good at playing the waiting game and need to know when i can let myself get stressed
made me laugh
in Beyond Adolescence
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i'm just trying to work out what is normal for me now. i've always felt like i was wrong because i was different, and now i'm on here i can see that everyone else is having the same problems! its a lot to get sorted in my head. i asked my doctor for some therapy, he said that i could only have group therapy (that'd be good, seeing as how i barely speak if there are more than 2 people in the room) so now i'm stuck trying to work it out myself and pestering friends because i need to say things out loud for them to make sense.