Hi. I'm new, and i really need some help. Before i go into the boring life story part, i first want to say that i do not have an autism diagnosis, which, as I'm sure you've heard many times, is part of the problem.
OK, here comes my story, which i decided to place here because i am a 21 year old adult so it seemed appropriate.
I come from a family of three children, one of whom has ADHD and is "Borderline autistic" whatever that means. I grew up suffering from various mental health issues, none of which i have been given a definite answer for. I will attempt to describe my problems here.
I was diagnosed with suffering from depression as a child, after my parents dragged me to the doctors on many occasions, because my behavior was.. kinda weird. I didn't have friends, didn't act like i was supposed to, among other things, although i am having a little trouble trying to gather my thoughts at the minute so i can explain things properly. A few times my mum caught me making odd noises or knocking my head from side to side, but the doctors said that i couldn't possibly be autistic cause i can talk like a normal person, or some such. Things got worse, as i got older i started self harming, i still didn't have any friends, i didn't go to school because i couldn't stand the atmosphere, and found it hard to fit in. The other kids bullied me a lot because of this. Every visit to the doctors ended with me going home with yet more anti depressants. This continued to the point were my doctor stopped examining me, and simply changed my pills or increased the dosage accordingly. Sometimes he didn't even want to see me and just did it over the phone. I never had counseling or saw any actual mental health specialists, eventually i gave up. I stopped going to school because teachers and students made it impossible for me to learn.
Now i am faced with the prospect of trying to put my life back together.
My cousin got diagnosed with aspergers as a teen. As a result my family are much more aware of it, and it has been suggested to me by family, and the counselor i started seeing, that i might have it.
My partner did a lot of research after that, and apparently they are all in consensus.
The trouble, is that i don't know what to do now. I start college in September, and i am afraid it will wind up just like school, and i don't want to mess it up again.
I've been told to go see my GP (the same one i grew up with) but I'm afraid ill either end up being told that i am depressed, or ill be told "its all in your head." which was another thing he used to say to me an awful lot.
My parents haven't been especially supportive, because while my mum is willing to accept that there may well be something wrong with me, she thinks that it wouldn't do any good to seek out help. She admitted to me that she blames herself for her kids being "The way they are." My dad just says "You just need to learn how to interact with people."
I don't even think I've got half of the stuff i wanted to say down, I'm not sure how to articulate it correctly.
What should i do?
