freddy

Not been on for a while....school hols etc. Have spoken to her a few times,sometimes ok and chatty but sometimes strange conversations where she just says silly things and impossible to have conversation.She still not replying to texts from anyone either which is upsetting fr grandparents etc. Her dad doesnt care what i think and hasnt spoke to me to all to tell me the plans,how she is doing etc.She says she coming to visit in a few weeks.so will see what happens with that.Her school report came to me during the hols from school here....not very good, mostly about he disruptive,silly behaviour,refusal to do as asked etc.....i told her i had it, and she had already read it via schools website.............but she hasnt even mentioned it to him..the last time she got a bad report he put the phone down on her and said to ring him when she had an explanation!!!!!.So if she cant even let him see her report she is probably still not that comfortable with him.However if i give him a copy she will take it out on me and if i dont mention it to him and he sees it eventually he will have a go for me not mentioning it so im still stuck in the middle as i waswhen she was here and thay had problems....i cant win either way!!!!. I know she still in honeymon period and he still not got a school sorted yet which she obviously not bothered about..I know her social interaction etc is not deliberate but it does hurt us all...She still doesnt ask about anyone here or what weve been doing. I still love and miss her so much and tell her on the phone and in texts etc but ts all so one sided.

well she hasnt even rang today as promised.......she obviously just saying stuff to shut me up!!!!! ....i cant believe how hurtful she is being....ive sent letters.texts,rang etc and had nothing.... its like out of sight out of mind!!!!!!

i have also been told by people thats why she soo bad here because she more secure here and feels more able to let it all out with us(not very nice though!!!) her dad has never been sworn at, had thinks thrown at him seen her in a complete rage,threatening to kill pets etc then breaking down in tears and worn out...thats why im obviously the problem!!!!!!!!! ..i ring regularly or i wouldnt even get to speak to her as she wouldnt think to.. when i last spoke she was more bothered about what was on tv......when i said its like youdont even want to speak she came out with did you have good xmas?!!!! i said what do you mean ...(she only went few weeks ago)...she replied 'im making conversation'!!!!!! whenever asked what she done or going to do answer is always' nothing'...i just feel like im bombarding her with questions to find out a tiny bit of info.

thank you........ i suppose its different when you have got a dx....because i dont have that,just my gut instinct i really am starting to question myself,especially as her dad didnt see it,although i do have friends that work with special needs that agree with me......i am annoyed that i didnt get the opportunity to take it further before cracking up..........i just feel like crying all the time..partly feeling sorry for myself and partly as i feel ive let her down and probably left her thinking i didnt want her so took the easy option...which maybe why she cant even speak to me now

i cant do any of that now as shes not 350 miles away with her dad......her school here did acknowledge her problems and had placed her on SAplus and set up iep for her,also gave her opportunity to work away from the class when she got too stressed by it all...she did do this a lot of times.... but her dad just said her problems must be caused by her home life and didnt seem interested in what i have thought.... yes i did just snap that day and boy am i paying for it now!!!! i do ring her and write but its an effort to get anything from her...its like she doesnt care... did keep appt with pyschologist but he just said as she no longer here no more help available basically unless she comes back(which doesnt look good atm).even then will have to start again. he didnt agree with me anyway...

TBH i dont think he will have any respect especially when i get the blame anyway (and the fact i was in a complete state when i rang him to take her away!!!!) the way she speaks to me on the phone is heartbreaking ,like she would rather not be... oesnt reply to texts(thats not unusual though as if its not a question there is no need for a reply in her opinion!!!) i wish i could start to feel better but i dont ,i just feel ive lost her.......i just want her back, problems and all ........ sorry for wallowing

im angry and upset that she can hurt me like this.atm she is having great time as not in school yet and im here thinking of all the horrible things she is probably saying and not even thinking of the good things here. she never used to tell him what she beeen up to when he rang so he probably thnks it was all bad which it wasnt. i did so much for her that she didnt even see. i know it wasnt perfect but that wouldnt be normal would it with other kids in the house too,not everyone can get on 100% of the time can they?!! I really do feel like im losing her, i dont even feel comfortable ringing as it gets me upset she is so cold toward me. what also worries me is she has told me in the past she cant discuss her feelings with him so now she has no-one to confide in..i always had to coax things out of her but got there eventually..

still not good.....its all i am thinkng about..its so quiet here without the screaming and arguing(i would put up with it now though). ive since found out shes been telling her dad awful things i was meant to have said to her(which i didnt)..she basically turned round the terrible things she said to me when she was in a rage and made it seem like i said it........it may have appearred that way to her at the time as it was pretty bad ....i cant beleive shes doing this and he is believing it. just makes me wonder what she is really thinking.

Thank you.........at least i can come on here to let it all out

well we went to appt with pyschologist.......didnt really get much out of it(didnt help i was crying most of the time so OH did most of the talking)...basically said he was sorry it had come to this but as she is no longer here there is no more that can be done.obviously if needs be he will transfer his records when the time comes(he knows i disagree with him re AS)but he does agree she will need help socially,behaviouralyand communication!!!also IF at some point she does come back we have to start again via GP So no 2nd opinion and i just have to see how she copes with all the change....she will just say fine whatever is happenning to her

Bl**dy mothers day will be glad when all adverts for soppy cds off the tv!!!!!! at least she rang(or was told to!!!!) i always had to tell her when to ring people etc.........they looking at schools this week,any thoughts on what i should say to pyschologist this week(apart from its his his fault and if he recognised the problems and listened to my side i wouldnt be in this position as she may have had access to more help )

I was told by pyschologist if she had AS she wouldnt be able to turn it on and off depending on where she was and her dad would also see it(the longest he saw her was 2 weeks at a time and we always got hell on her return.........we used to bet how long it would take!!!) but he also in same position to me to as didnt notice how her behaviour was different to others her age..........and still doesnt now i come to mention it... he now thinks as pyschologist said no, thats it ,end of the matter and its just my problem i have told him what i think and asked him to read up on it but i dont think he has.i just dont want her to miss out on any help she needs and to be bottling things up.

i do think she probably thought she 'could get away with behaviour' with me especially as her dad was miles away and couldnt really do anything....if she was in such a state and i asked her to speak to him on the phone she wouldnt but also if i did tell him what she had been doing he would never say anything about it to her at all so basically i got no support.......so whilst i was doing the grounding,taking away priveleges etc but when she saw him it would all be fine,trips out nice things etc...she was always pre warned of any consequences before the event but it never made any difference........so now im thinking she will hold it in for as long as possible and when she decides to 'visit' will let it all out again here so he will still never see it.......i know he blames me but when she was younger and stayed at grandparents etc i was always told she was a credit to me(by them)now shes bigger and so are the problems its down to me..... from primary school she had problems not mixing and put in nuture groups etc and to be honest at that point didnt think her problems would end up like this..which i think is due to the fact of noticing the differences with her and YD and the things ED did not do a the same age

Still very upset by it all,have spoken to her couple of times....first time awful she was so cold,one word answers etc ,2nd time a bit better more chatty but still more upsetting for me than her!!!!! my other dd spoke to her and her first question was are you coming back?..answer no have decided to go to appt next week and explain whats been going on(and hopefully wont be a blubbering mess!!) all i do is wonder whats shes doing,still cant eat,sleep etc which i know is no good buts its only been a week..its been a nightmare seeing her 'friends' and their parents about especially when picking up DD i just try to avoid them. How common is it for AS people to basically hide there problems and anger etc from others (ie her dad) as he has seen nothing........so it just makes me wonder if its just me where the problem lies. sorry for the moan .......

i bake them instead of boiling then take the potato out of the skin and mash with butter......takes longer but could start them in micro......