Maryanne

A couple of things come to mind as I read down through. One thing that occurred to me is to make the use of the computer a treat, rather than a punishment. I would reframe things by letting him earn time on the computer by being nice to his brother and I would start small. He gets 15 minutes on the computer when he is decent to his brother for an hour. Like that. The other thing that occurs to me is there is more than one way to have your own room. A space divider, or even a sheet on a clothesline, can divide a room into separate sleeping areas and make his area the farthest from the door so his brother has no reason to track through his space. Heavy blankets hung between can even muffle noises. My parents built a wall in my brothers' room to give me a bedroom in a two bedroom house. I had to walk through their space, but they were kept out of mine. My bedroom was only 6x10, but it was big enough for a twin bed and a nightstand with a dresser at the foot of my bed. Maryanne

First I would try to figure out why your son is behaving this way. Does he do it for attention from you (or feeling you're paying too much attention to his sibling?). How often does he do this? If it is daily, I would break down time into a couple of hours and tell him if he refrains from hitting for X amount of time you will play a game with him or let him play on the computer for a half hour or some other treat that is something he would really like a lot. Build up the amount of time he needs to go without hitting slowly. Kids respond to positive attention and treats much better than they do to punishment or yelling. I hear how frustrated you are. Maryanne

Pages of math problems are visually overwhelming for kids with attention problems. Try putting two-four problems written fairly big on a page and have something for a reward-a little break, a small snack, etc.-for getting each page of problems done. Breaking any task down into small parts helps kids with attention problems. Maryanne

It's equally great to know my son isn't the only one who's picky about being wet, scents and tastes. Thanks for your insights. Maryanne

Do you have Crest Vanilla in the UK? It's really mild tasting. There's also a citrus flavor, too.

I have to smile at your letter as you and my son are cut from the same cloth, it seems. Michael uses his hair like a curtain if he wants no contact. He can muss with it if he has to have contact and he's uncomfortable. He hates scented anything, too. We found a good cleansing shampoo with no scent and very inexpensive at Whole Foods (I don't know if you have them in the UK, but they are fairly common here in the US). The other 'health food' grocers only had "naturally scented" shampoos and they often smelled nasty, even to me, and were costly. Michael hates perfumes and scents, complains if I use scented hand lotion, and we sometimes have to move tables in the middle of a restaurant meal if someone "stinky" sits near. You're right about the hair brushing thing. I hadn't thought of it that way. For all that, Michael is very picky about germs and carries alcohol wipes all the time and hates touching something someone else has touched, though he usually makes an exception for me or his dad (but definitely NOT his older brother). ...............as for not brushing hair... well, if you dont brush it when its greasy you can get an extra day out of it get his hair cut if you can, as that is the easiest way for him to get around the issue. i like to hide behind my hair, i can ignore things so much better when i can't see them, so that might be another consideration for your son if he's like me, in which case he'll have to pick the lesser of two evils, long hair washing or less to hide behind