Esty

It would be the same with R - he'd do maths(but would be beyond me by day 3!) , IT and history, but only if it meant no handwriting. I can kind of see his point - if he knows it in his head from TV/ reading/ internet, why should he have to write it down? And the thing is, he does remember EVERYTHING, he just thinks writing is 'pointless' R is so open to education, just not school. It would be SOO frustrating though because I know we'd have some days where he wanted to work all day, but more day when he wouldn't do anything. And I know that the one day I wanted to go to a museum/ safari park etc, would be the day he didn't feel like going and it would drive me mad! Tell you what, though, I haven't actually ruled out home ed, if only to get out of the system and restore some sanity. One thing I have learned from being a teacher, you can get your qualifications at any time - this 'get your GCSEs at 16' limit they instil in kids is absolute nonsense - my best students have been in their 20s, 30s and beyond.

I loved that one - so off the wall it made my brain hurt but loved it

Thanks for the reply - I think what has really got to me about all this is that I worked in the education system until very recently - if I can't find my way around and get what my son needs, how do other people cope? All the best advice I've has been from just happening to know someone who has passed on info, not from the LEA or the school. There should be a central place to find all info! The other thing is we honestly were made to feel that we were the only people that had a child who school refused - three months into our son's high school career, we find out there is actually a cohort (their words!) of kids in his year who have been off. Why were these kids not all put together (even at our homes) and given teachers???

Hello all My son is waiting for his appointment for neuro-cog tests and a DISCO because his specialist at CAMHS thinks he has Asperger's. I'm very grateful for this possible dx as we've spent three years of ###### as R school refuses. We've been told to go to parenting classes (depsite the fact my eldest son goes to school every day and is in the top few kids in his years!) and had the threat of legal action hanging over us all this time. R is very bright and can't explain why he won't go to school, just 'can't'. No amount of sanctions/ rewards make him go, no matter how long we persevere, so we've given up on that route as it just leads to more meltdowns and still not going to school. Last week he went in for two days, for an hour and half each day, was allowed to stay in the school's unit and do what he wanted on the computer. Before this, he school refused since September. This week he says he can't go in again. He just refuses to do anything to anyone else's agenda, if you try to sanction him re: school he yells that he won't be blackmailed and has been physically violent in the past. Rewards work for other things eg general co-operation but nothing works for school. We just don't know what to do next. There are no bullying issues, it is all social fear, but when he IS in school he has no problems - but I think the control and effort involved for him just wears him out and he can't face it. He has had no meltdowns since he's been off school (three months!), but last week had an absolute humdinger which I'm certain must be linked to the stress of school for him, even just those few hours. The school are doing all they can to help but there's a limit to how patient they can be. CAMHS have been my lifesavers. Have seriously considered home ed but fear his lack of co-operation would mean we'd get very little done. I also think he's so bright he SHOULD get some qualifications which he may not if we home ed. He has many other aspergic issues (reactions to change, sensitivity to food, over reactions to social situations etc) but as a family we can cope with these if the education storm wasn't raging. I've given up my job under stressful conditions to look after R during the day and have had heart problems which the doc thinks may be stress but really am having to take it day to day. I have to make myself concentrate on each day and not let my fears for his future cloud what we need to do but as you all will know, it's soooo hard not to scream. I actually wish there was no legal obligation to educate (even though I'm a teacher!), because he'd be a much happier kid if he could just live on a farm and learn life skills instead! Anyway, whinge over! Thanks for listening, am going to browse the site for some ideas.