frogslegs

No offence taken. PLEASE DO NOT WORRY... I am very prickly with stress.....

Bullying does not make my son stronger, on the contrary. My son is convinced that he is going to be attacked again and that it is not a matter of if but a matter of when. I find that very sad. He is wary of everyone with a particular dislike for teenagers if they are in a group. If he sees a group in the street even if they are not doing anything funny, he will rather cross the road rather than walk past them. I try to explain the situation to parents of harassy children and ask for their children not to like my son but to accept him for who he is, i.e. an inoffensive oddball. But I get abuse. I have spoken to the Head and will see what comes next. Probably a bit of peace for a few days/weeks and then back again. We were told no statement because he is too mild. Apparently where we live only bottom 2% of school population gets statement and he is not one of those as he is doing very well at school so no learning difficulty. Even the laptop that we have been told he will eventually need will probably have to be funded by us. For the moment no help put in place but we have been promised some, although no help with Mental Health. I was asked 'did he self-harm'? No ? Then no help. I know my son relies on me completely and is full of love and kindness but there are days when it is heavy to carry!

I was wondering what you think of support groups for Asperger sufferers as there is one in my area. It mixes everyone under ASD and I am wondering whether my 10 year old son who at the moment does not think of himself as 'disabled' but as 'different' would find any support in such a group. When we told him that he had Asperger and explained what it was, he decided not to do any work at school any more (after all if I am disabled why should I bother) and he identified himself with children who are part of an autistic unit which is in the school, where they are much higher on the spectrum. We had to remind him that this is not affecting his learning capabilities at all! I know he would benefit from meeting people who are like him i.e. coping well on the whole but with difficulties in making friends, uncoordinated but absolutely mad about trains, cars, listing all the capital cities of Europe..... Many thanks for your advice.

Hello Amanda, Welcome to the forum!

Many thanks for your replies and support. I need to ponder about what I am doing next.

My son is 10 and recently diagnosed with Asperger. He is very bright and on the whole coping well thanks to a very supporting family and a good school counsellor. We have been through all sorts during the past 5/6 years. Sent from pillar to post mainly because he does not have a learning problem and behaves in class. The headmistress wanted us to go to family therapy.The GP refused to acknowledge that there was a problem, and I ended having to really put my foot down for my son to be refered to a paediatrician. Things are on the whole okay but the playground was and is a nightmare and the worst we are experiencing is bullying in and out of school (being called names, spat at, hit, having his clothes torn, his pencil case damaged, ostracised...). The latest event being today with one of the bullies writing GAY on the ice on my car, then awaiting my son as he goes to school and hitting him. I feel utterly exhausted and powerless, it's like hitting your head against a wall. We work hard to help his self-esteem but when I see this sort of thing it is incredibly difficult to remain calm. I think today I lost it completely and ended up shouting at the bully within the school grounds which as you can imagine did not go down well. My husband refuses to accept that there is a problem so I am really on my own (and foreign). Do I feel better because my son has a diagnosis? Not really as I am told he is too mild to get a statement, so there won't be any help at school. I worry all the time about him especially now secondary school is looming. I cannot imagine him having to walk to school without getting troubled. We live in a fairly quiet area of Britain, not an inner city school or anything but still having to face intolerance is a real issue.