bensmum2
-
Content Count
150 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
1
Posts posted by bensmum2
-
-
hI i DON'T KNOW WHAT AREA YOU LIVE IN , WE LIVE IN TAMESIDE NEAR MANCHESTER AND WE HAVE HAD THE SAME PROBLEMS WITH SOC SERV FOR YEARS , I AHVE BEEN ASKING FOR HELP FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS ONLY TO BE TOLD MY SON "DOESNT MEET THE CRITERIA" THEY REFUSE TO WRITE THAT DOWN AND THEY REFUSE TO TELL US WHAT "THE CRITERIA " IS, THEY HAVE IGNORED MANY MULTI AGENCY MEETINGS OVER THE YEARS AND THE ONES THEY DID ATTEND THEY PROMISED TO ASSESS AND THEN DIDN'T FOLLOW IT UP.OVER THE PHONE THEY ONCE TOLD ME HE HAD TO BE IN A WHEELCHAIR TO GET HELP, ANOTHER TIME THEY SAID HE HAD TO BE STATEMENTED AND ANOTHER TIME THEY SAID THEY THOU8GHT WE WERE CAUSING HIS PROBLEMS OURSLEVES AND SO HE WASNT ENTITLED TO HELP. MY SON IS PARTIALLY SIGHTED, HAS DYSPRAXIA, SENSORY DEFENSIVENESS, GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER , SOMAITC SYMPTOMS AND BED WETTING IN SCHOOL TERM TIME SO MUCH THAT I NOW HAVE TO HOME SCHOOL HIM, HE WAS ONLY DIAGNOSED WITH ASPERGERS LAST JULY AND IS NOW 14, HE GETS DLA HIGHER CARE LOWER MOBILITY AND HAS DOEN FOR 7 YEARS. JUST BEFORE HIS ASPERGERS DIAGNOSSI THEY SAID WE WERE BAD PARENTS AND HE DIDNT MEET THE CRITERIA COS WE WERE CAUSING HIS PROBLEMS AND THREATENED US WITH PUTTING HIM ON THE CHILD PROTECTION REGISTER!! THEN 2 WEEKS AFTER HIS ASPERGERS DIAGNOSIS,AFTER HE HAD BEEN SO FRUSTRATED AT SCHOOL HE HAD WALKED OUT , I ASKED FAMILY SUPPORT FOR HELP AND THEY ASSESSED US (THE DISABILITY TEAM STILL REFUSED) AND THEY SAID HE HAD VERY COMPLEX NEEDS BUT DESPITE THIS WE WERE SUCH GOOD PARENTS THAT WE MET ALL OF HIS NEEDS OURSELVES AND THEREFORE HE DID NOT CLASS AS A CHILD IN NEED AND SO STILL DIDN'T MEET THE CRITERIA FOR SERVICES, I HAVE COMPLAINED AND ASKED TO SEE MY FILES , AND GOT NOWHERE AT ALL. THEY IGNORE CAMHS WHEN THEY ASK FOR HELP. oN TOP OF ALL THIS I AM REGISTERED BLIND MYSLEF AND CARE FOR ANOTHER DISABLED SON ND MY ELDERLY BLIND MUM AND WE STILL HAVE BEEN REFUSED ASSESSMENT FROM THE DISABILITY TEAM NAS, CONTACT A FAMILY ETC ETC CANT DO ANY MORE THAN WE HAVE DONE, AND WE CAN'T GET A SOLICITOR COS WE DONT QUALIFY FOR LEGAL AID(AND ARE PRESENTLY PAYING OUT £500 A MONTH TO ONE TO TRY TO GET ACCESS TO O0UR GRANDSON) . THE GOOD NEWS IS, MY SON IS GETTING A FINALISED STATEMENT THIS WEEK AND ARMED WITHN THIS I AM GOING TO GO BACK AGAIN AND ASK FOR A CORE ASSESSMENT , I AM GOING TO THREATEN THEM WITH A JUDICIAL REVIEW IF THEY DONT AT LEAST ASSESS, iT IS A DISGRACE THAT PEOPLE ARE BEING TREATED LIKE THIS AND OUR CHILDREN ARE MISSING OUT ON WHAT THEY ARE ENTITLED TO , GOOD LUCK WITH ALL THIS , WE ALL HAVE TO KEEP FIGHTING FOR OUR KIDS X SORRY ABOUT CAPITALS I FIND IT EASIER TO SEE XX
-
Thanks Kathryn and thansk everyone, this is a great forum. I started my letter and ended up doing a 5 page list of everything that was wrong, IPSEA told em i could just quote bits from ed psych's report, but when i started i ended up changing them to how i wanted things to be and it looked really good,on the accpetance letter i changed to it do not accept the proposed statement and named the school i wanted then signed it and sent it in, if they don't put in what i want i will use a copy of that letter to appeal, take care all and thanks again x
-
Thank you so much j's mum, Ben is pretty much the same, he hates to go aywhere where there are a lot of peopleand has separation issues i have been home schooling since last september but he should be in year 10 next september and he is capable of passing some exams if he is in the right environment, they have all the evidence but just ignore it, i am going to appeal .When forced back to mainstream last june he becasem violent , then they said if he broke the rule again he woudl be threatened with exclusion!!!! what planet are they on!! all these replesi have given me the strength to carry on, and tomorow i will ask for the statement to be finalised without my signing so i can appeal and while i am waiting i will be gathering my evidence!!! Thnak you so much and i'm glad to hear your son is doing so well xx
-
Hi Grace thanks for that , i would much prefer not to sign i will get advice from ipsea or ace tomorow on that before i do it. x
-
Hi Ladies grace i am aware of all that you said , if i sign the proposed statement they will name a school but there is so much missing out of it!! i was scared i wud be accepting it , but jathryn just said i can also appeal parts 2 and 3 so thank you for that , noone has told em that , as i said i am supported by ipsea and nbcs and nas but not one of them has told em that and not one of them has been to a meeting with me. I have been fighting for this for so long i want it to be right . ALso camhs are supposed to be on my side but so far i have waited 6 weks and still no sign of an appointment. The past 2 days i have been unable to eat or even function but i am more determined again today.
wasuup i ahve been to many schools , incluf=ding the local mainstream with asd unit but even they said it was not suitabel becasue he isnt bad enough to get a place in the unit and the scool itself is oversubscribed and there is even facilities for small classes .he woudl eb expected to cope full time and in classes fo about 35
When the lea name a mainstream school , i am very willing to visit but it will only be to ask a series of very difficult questions in order to build case against them!! You have all helped me so much , tomorow i am going to speak to all my supporters and probably sign the proposed statement so they can finalise, then i will be at tribunal stage and my supporters can actually get involved again, they all say unless i am at tribunal there isnt much they can do. In my sons case i need to prove he has sensory integration disorder and that his eye condition (he is registered partially sighted) affects his everyday life, this shouldnt be too difficult.Thanks again all xxx
-
Hi Annea Thanks for that, i have already been fighting the lEA for 8 years, 6 of them knowing he had undiagnosed Aspergers as he was only diagnosed last July, I have found the perfect school and have named it but they refused. They are going to name anothe rmainstream not his original one they are saying it was THAT actual school but any other school would eb much larger adn noisier. I have had the new proposed statement today and its not much better , there is no way i can agree it, they have even put his ASD down under non educational needs????. I am presently home schooling but between appointments and evidence gatherign i dotn have much time, Today i have been in such a state that my present plan is to take him to the lEA on monday, and ask for the lady who keeps refusing and say "here he is , find him a school i've had enough" I have no other ideas left. I have got ipsea, NAS, NBCS etc all involved, yet when it comes to meetings they are all unnavailable and i have to face the lea alone every time!! We are now at stalemate i am not going to agree the proposed stateemtn as it still isn't right and so they are not going to name a school, so i can't appeal.There is a local school with an asd unit but we went to see the school and it is a mainstream with over 800 pupils they told us it wasn't suitable for my son and he wudn't get a place in the unit unless he was severely autistic and there are no facilities for small classes, my son was extremely upset after the visit when they refused toe ven show us round becasue they said there was "no point" I don't see a way out of this at all, and in the meantiem my son who is year 9 is not getting educated.
-
Hi All, Thanks for your replies, yes we have been in touch with ace and ipsea and will be supported by them at appeal but as the lea wont name a school and finalise the statement we cant appeal yet. My son is partially sighhted and so i am also supported by nbcs . He is diagnosed with all sensory problems, smell , touch ,taste , noise,etc and also just before his aspergers diagnosis was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, i even have doctors notes to say he is unable to attend school becasue it makes him ill. He has had all the assessments you mention and the ed psychologist recommended an
resourced environment, small groups and a placement with an intake broad enough to allow him to interact with others with similar needs to himself. She called his sensory problems hypersensitivity . The LEA seem tio have ignored her recommendations and when i pointed this out to them they said i was interpreting her report wrong and i should speak to her. I did this and i stiull dont believe i am interpreting it wrong and all she said was, they didnt have to do what she said, she only made recommendations.
There are no suitable schools in the area as they are all mainstream, and all much larger than his old school. They still say they can meet his needs at any mainstream school in the area with help. They refuse to understand his sensory problems,They are including a "time out" card, so they know he will have problems , but if it was the right provision he wouldn't need that card he could stay in class . He has had an assessment at the school i want him to go to out of the area and he fitted in perfectly he even made freinds as they are all very similar needs, and the classes were very small. I am expecting the revised statement any time and i know i will not be able to agree unless they include what the ed psych said and i know they wont include that so what can i do , we are at stalemate. If i agree thsi proposed statement he wont get the provision he needs but if i dotn they wont name a school so i cant appeal, can anyone please help with this scenario becaseu i know full well they will still be leaving these things out. I have even tried the nas advisors but i have been trying for so many years they tell me i have done everything i possibly can, i have even complained to the local government ombudsman but even that isnt getting anywhere i ahev been waiting since last may for that to be dealt with
-
Hi my son has suffered from school refusal since starting secondary school, he suffers severe stomach cramps diagnosed as somatic , vomiting, headaches, bed wetting, etc. His anxiety was so bad the lea provided a taxi to/from school as it was felt the stress caused by getting the bus full of other school children would be so upsetting for him that he would then not be able to deal with a school day as well. Since spetember i ahve been home schooling as this illness got so bad i couldn't put him thorugh it any longer so i deregistered him. this spetember he shouidl eb in year 10 and i feel he now needs to go back to school , but i think he needs a school that understands him and where he can be with people like himself and smaller classes etc. 2 weeks ago we finally received a proposed statement. The lea refuse to name a school at the momemnt but have said it will be a mainstream school, despite all the evidence, doctors letters etc that say it was school that was causing hi sproblmes, the lea now say it was that particular school and he will be ok in another mainstream school. They will still not accept that he can't cope with the noise or the number of pupils , he cant cope with the smells in science and is diagnosed with hypersensitivity , o any mainstream school will cause him to have th same problems, sinc ehe has been home schoole he has grown in confidence and chnaged a lot but that is because he isn't so anxious as his learning environment is almost stress free and flexible, he even manages to attend college 2 half days a week and get there independently on 2 buses each way which he could never have done before.
Anyway i am looking for an article about school refusal in aspergers children especially at secondary school, over the past couple of years i have read several such articles but now can't seem to find any. I am also interested in other peoples experiences of school refusal. I will be having to go through an appeal when they finally name a school, so i want something to prove to the appeal panel that this is a common problem in aspergers teens and it is likely to happen again if he is made to return to a mainstream. He will be in year 10 in September and he has gone thorugh school so far with no help , this is his last chance to get the right place and hopefully leave school with some qualifications as he is quite clever, but has not made much progress in school becsue he was never able to stay in class due to the sensory problems. Please can anyone help me to prove to the LEA and Sendist that this is a common problem with Asperger teens and forcing him back to mainstream will make him ill again. I ahve asked camhs and my doctor for support but all they say is he should be in school and which one is up to the lEA, although the actual evidence is staring everyone in the face.
-
Hi Just a quick one i cant offer you any help, but i can sympathise that you have been accused of bad parenting, and say you are not alone, our son was only diagnosed wirh asd in july this year at almost 14, just before diagnosis we were told we were the cause of his anxiety about school (he had been off for several months) and it was all about me not our son and if we didnt send him back in straight away they would put him on the child protection register. i sent him back the next day , he only managed half days and he started becoming violent for the first time ever , due to being forced back into mainstream with no help or understanding, once we got a diagnosis i asked the social services for help, 2 weeks later they assessed us as being such good parents we fully met all of our sons needs emotional and otherwise and therefore we were refused help!!!but at least we have on paper that we are great parents, in the end i had to deregister him from school and i am now home schooling him whilst we are appealing a refusal to assess. get yor son a new school , and then go down the dissability discrimination route because if noone stands up to these schools things will never change good luck xx
-
Hi never withdraw your request frora statement, i had the same problems at primary, in year six they told me they would strongly oppose everything i tried to do for my son though, not help him, i moved his school , the new school were great but he was only there 6 months, they helped him with transition but once at secondary school he totally lost it, he was crying vomiting wetting the bed (astill does) in term time , having very severe stomach cramps, they told me it was school refusal and the treatment for that is making him go in every day and he will eventually get used to it, we tried for 2 years , he was off ill 50% they said i was the cause of it, in june this year he was diagnosed with aspergers after 6 years of trying, i have tried for statementing 4 times i am on my 5th now and already at appeal for refusal to assess, i have had to deregister him and home school for now , we are only 2 weeks in to that and it is REALLY hard, but he is a changed boy he is going out to youth clubs, sports he has got a girlfriend at the club, until i deregistered him he was in his room constantly refusng to come out, yesterdya he competed in a team sports event for the first time ever in his life!! and todya he made his own breakfast,!!!!! only cereal but its a start !!! i am getting support wiht my appeal from i p s e a (independant panel for special education needs)they are brilliant and have told me they think his school are guilty of disability discrimiantion and they wuill help me deal with that, look them up on the web and give them a ring, it can take time to get through but they are worth waiting for,dont let them bully you into letting this happen to your child,make them take notice now , good luck with that x
-
Hi Nobby Nobbs, sorry but i dont agree, in my opinion what you do with the nappies seems to be trying to shame your daughter into being dry! the alarm , so i have been told isnt to "make them jump"and stop weeing , rather to relate the sound of the alarm to the sensation of needing a wee, i'm not sure if your daughter is still wetting and i also think different things work for different children, but we have trid so many things over the years and i wont shame him into it! It is just something that happens and doesnt matter for now that is how we have learned to live with it, but it is definately a term time only thing and if you look at other posts on here, quite common in aspergers children. Incientally the noise of the alarm in itself distressed him because of his sensory probems so we couldnt win!! , but i appreciate your opinion.
-
Hi Nobbynobs, i was just wondering how yuor daughter didnt have the problem with the literal thinking we have, as he only wakes when the alarm goes off, which only goes off when he starts to wet, he says its the alarm doing it and he never accepts he has wet when we go on holiday and use "sleep pants" for the sake of hygiene and also so he can relax and not worry. He can go to the toilet in the night himself and often does but still sometimes wets even on those nights , it does seem related to school though but no one listens, its practically every night in term time and in holidays its much less. bensmum2
-
HI again sheuk, at least you already get some dla, you should get higher care if you are up at night as i said if you have to change beds wash and change yuor son and sometimes he doesnt settle so you have to spend time awake with him in the night regularly you should get it, even if they say lift him , that still mean you being awake to lift him several times a night and even that could disturb him and so he might not resettle rigth away so you are up longer, if you dont get at least middle you should appeal, a very high percentage of appeals are successful, i have helped loads of people get dla and never lost a case, i am registered blind and my own middle care was put down to lower on review, they said i should be used to nbing blind by now!!!! i wiped the floor with them verbally!!!! anyway i had to appeal in writing but it only took 3 weeks to get it back!! dotn forget if you do get carers you can still earn just over £90 a weeks as well without losing any of course you wouldnt get income support though ,but you would get tax credits and being a carer would mean you get a bit extra tax credits, just a thought !good luck X
-
Hi again i have already left a reply about the enuresis on your other post but have just seen this about you bneing on a low income, i thought if you really struggeld you could get your money changed back to weekly, not 100% but try welfare rights or child poverty action group for advice, my son already got dla lower mobility middle care for other problems but when he started bed wetting i got the care increased to higher, you have to be up so long in the night changing sheets etc washing him and resettleing him , my son doesnt alwasy settle straight away after , if they say you should lift him , the enuresis advice is against that so get a letter from the nurse, also ret the family fund you can get granst only once a year but on benefits there is no argument you dotn even have to tell them your income , you can get about £400 for a holiday and other stuff bedding etc. if you can afford it one week maybe when he gets his dla, buy a pack of dry nites or pads and just forget it for a week we do this occassionally and we have had it for 7 years now its part of every day life, but a few nights where it doesnt matter doesnt hurt and recharges your battery i todl my nurse we were doing this and after trying everything else she agreed although not advisable it at least gives us and the washing machine a break !! do you get carers allowance or premium in your benefits ? you are entitled to it if he gets middle care and also you are allowed to earn up to just over £90 and still get this , if you are on income support yuo wouldnt be so much better off but still around £30 a week i think and go for the higher care dla for the nights, good luck , o and dont panic i think at 7 years wetting, we are the exception to the rule, most dont last that long i'm sure xx
-
Hi my experience of parent partnership help has been a total waste of time over the years yes they are employed by the local authority, everything they told me to do i had already tried , in fact i had more idea than them,a note of warning though, 6 weeks ago they told me to get education welfare involved in helping get my son back into school,(because after all they should be concerned about his "welfare" ) when i did this, the ew spent the last 6 weeks trying to prove my son isnt disabled and getting a lot of people who have never even met him to say his problems are mild, this culminated in my being told i was keeping him off for my own needs and fabricating his illness and therefore damaging him for the rest of his life and if i didnt send him back in immediately he would be placed on the child protection register!! BEWARE !! Thanks parent partnership!!
-
Hi i cant believe it!! another similarity !! its not just me!!! my son is nearly 14, hes had this wetting problem since he was 7 tried everything , he even sked me to buy him a spongebob quilt cover because it was a sponge and it would mop up the wet!!! was really upset when it didnt help, he tried the alarms but as they only wake him up when he starts to wet he blamed them for the bed being wet now we have learned to live with it, we ignore it, what else can we do? but i never knew it could be part of aspergers, im still trying to get a diagnosis, we p[raise when he is dry and we take incontinance pants on holiday we tell him they are special sleep pants and not nappies and they are so he can relax while hes on holiday and not be embarrassed, he still believes they stop him wetting because they absorb he says hes not wet. If you get dla you can get payments from the family fund for help with bedding and mattresses and even washing machines family fund.org look it up, after 5 years of wetting i found out you can not only get quilt and pillow protectors you can get waterproof mattresses starting at about £90 although i didnt find that one strong enough for my son ,he needed a firmer one which was £140 its a real bonus, if you are on benefit maybe if a dr reccomended it you might be able to get help to buy it from elsewhere im not sure, but i felt it was a similar price to a normal mattress, if you search the net you will find a few places that do them and u dont need a crinkly cover on them either. we ddi find the suopper and last drink one hour before bed time worked the best out of everything but still not all the time, i was told dont restrict drinks during the day becasue the bladder needs to get used to holding it in, if iy doesnt have much in then it will only get used to holding small amounts, hope some of that helps x
-
o just another point i had considered home schooling i even had the letter to deregister him and a lesson plan, but i dont think that would stop them going for child protection because they are saying i am keeping him off, so home schooling would just add more weight to that theory, cheers again x
-
Cheers again everyone, im just waiting for the ewo to ppick him up, she asked if i wanted to go but why would i? they know he cant get the bus but as the taxi needs reorganising she is taking him today, hes already wet teh ebd and had a mini panic attack about today and next week and said hes change his mind!! it isnt me, really it isnt , theres nothing going on in hte background other than i am a moaner and i stand up for myself and they dont like me they never have, they are determined to prove ben doesnt have special needs despite getting higher care and low mobility dla after being examined by an independant doctor. This sounds a bit odd but we used to be in a local family support group and there were soem irregualrities going on , a few of us found out and objected, when it all blew over those of us who had stood up to them were slowly made to feel more and more uncomfortable and eventually quite a few people left including us, this support group meets in the social services office and the trustees chat and socialise with the social workers, basically if you are in the group you get all the help if you are not you get nothing and i actually think it comes from there as my son used to be open to the social services there but when i actually asked for a service they immediately said he didnt meet the criteria and closed the case, i have made several attempts to find out "the criteria but they wont commit themselves. Now they dotn even answer letters. You ladies dont know me and i appreciate that you are as supportive as you are because i could be the "mother from hell" for all you know, but my story is all too familiar in this forum parents accused of being overprotective and children with wrong or no diagnosis getting little or no helpi ams till going to try to get a diagnisis, it wonr change anything i dotn think they are set againats us, but it will prove that it isnt me , i need to prove that even more now, as you say for now i will concentrate on him being in school , if it does fail again, i dotn know becasue we are so close to child protection and they still think its me so if it does fail that wont change i dont think, so it has to work , he has to go he has to change and accept the innevitable and get through his personal hell , i dont think i have mentioned what actually started this, was that we found out in spetember the school is merging and there will be 1400 pupils there instead of 500 so the hell he is in now is nothing to what it will be then, the changes, the more noise, the number of pupils the change of premises twice as far away and the dreaded "girls" , so many changes he doesnt do change!!! how will he cope!!!
-
Thanks ladies, the meeting came and went today, i'm afraid i was so scared of the consequences i folded and my son is going back to the "lions den " tomorow morning, i had all my evidence and papers and diagnosis letters, i had some ecamples off here showing how similar my son is to all these children dignosed with asd. i saw my doctor yesterday and eh feels school refusal IS learned behaviour, whne i started to show the ewo my stuff she informed me that she had spoekn to out new consultant (we are not even meeting him till next week) and he told her my sons dyspraxia was now mild( he is nearly 14, he cant cut up food tied a shoelace , buttons and things are a nitemare and his writing is illegible, so bad i showed it her it took her a minute or so to say whether it was maths or english work, the she said well, you can readit if you look closely( i cant). hehas also phoned henshaws society for the blind ( he is partially sighted) and a lady there who i have never heard of and has never met us and doesnt have any medical records because this isa support group type place not medical, told her my sons eye condition was mild, in the great scheme of things it may be a milder condition than some, but he is still registered partially sighted. Neither of these things had been an issue or a reason for him being off school, but she thinks she has proved he isnt disabled and personally i feel like i have been burgled, while i have been trying to get him back to school she has been burrowing through our private lives without my knowledge and dissecting every personal piece of information. i didnt even tell her we were seeing a new consultant next week becuase i was hopeful of a freshm start and maybe some help at last from him, but now he has been told we are "involved " with the education welfare, this will be on our record,so straight away the new doctor will have us down as problem causers, they have only been involed 6 weeks becasue parent partnership told me they would "help" everyone i tunrn to says no thats not right they wouldnt do that , but believe me they have and tomorow they are making me sned my boy back after having made a mockery out of all his disabilities, i really do feel numb like i have been burgled, my life has been torn apart and scrutinised and only half put back. How did it come to this in 6 weeks!!!!
-
Hi we are now at the stage where meetings are being held behind my back, people who never even met my son making decisions, although diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder somatic symptoms, school refusal and sensory problems, the "professionals " have got the doctor to cancel my sons sick note (2nd time in a month), and in their opinion i am ""blocking his access tto school for my own needs, they say i have learned a lot about the system and know how to use it, he only has some "residual" illness , the main needs are mine and this "fabrication" of illness by me is going to cause my son untold damage for life, i wont let him attend social clubs etc becasue i say they are too noisy for him!!!" YOU COULDNT MAKE IT UP !!!!!! tHEY ARE IGNORING HIS DIAGNOSIS , BLAMING IT ALL ON BAD PARENTING!! but this time the next step is i send him back to school to repaeat a year ( more time to be ill) or we have a child protection conference, not much choice is there?
Im stuck because my doctor has been threatened with court by the lea, my consultant has retired 2 weeks ago, the psychologist at camhs "doesnt see people any more"and my doctor wont refer me to anyone else becasue of what the lea have told him, the people i have contacted for help in social services cant offer me the things they told the lea they could so the lea think i am refusing to ask for help but the social services said thats not the kind of help they give, but wont put it in writing, 2 weeks ago i got an advocate from nbcs ( hes partially sighted) but she broke her leg badly and is now off work for weeks. HELP ! i have no one an the ewo is coming in 2 days to make me send him back or they will put him down as a child at risk of harm from me!! How has it come to this , even school ares sending letters telling me what a bad mum i am, yet my son is vomiting bed wetting and having severe somatic pains at 13, becuas eh is terrified of school, theres is over 2 yeasr evidence and a diagnosis of this yet they are still saying its me, i want to run away and hide but i have to keep fighting for him. I hve even applied for 3 other schools 2 have refused and my other form has gone "missing" but they wont consider it anyway untill ive sent him back fist , he sint diagnosed with Asd cos he borderline and despite the school refusal since year 7 they still wont reassess or statement him. i'm just at melting point, that passed boiling point!!!and i'm ready to collapse in abig heap on the floor and give up, but that means giving up on my boy too, and struggling every day to cope with his vomiting wetting and pains for another 4 years, please can anyone help?what can i do?
-
Hi All , please could anyone advise me where i can get a private 3di test , my son is diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder we are convinced more every day its is aspergers he has only ever had the ados test and was only one mark short of a disagnosis, i have exhausted camhs gp consultant and several other avenues no one will refer him for this test i have tried mp and complaining to pct local goverment ombudsman everything , i just now need to get it done and i will pay if i have to. so does nayone know where i can get a privaye yesy done please there is no other avenue open to me now and i need to do this asap, thanks bens mum2
-
Hi you are all fab Thank you so much, i have tried every route possible to get the help he needs, today i have been on the phone since before 9am and got nowhere except for being told to send him back till he hits the senco then they will exclude him and he will get help!!! It was very tempting, believe me!! I wrote to my GP to ask him to explain why he cancelled his note. He just rang!!!! i can't belive it!!! HE HAS LOOKED FURTHER INTO THINGS AND HAS SPOKEN TO EWO AND THE TOLD THEM WE HAVE SPENT TOO LONG STRUGGLING TO GET OUR SON HELP AND HIS NOTE TO SAY HE IS UNABLE TO GO TO SCHOOL STILL STANDS UNTIL HE IS AT LEAST ABLE TO GET FURTHER PSYCHIATRIC REPORTS ON BENS PROBLEMS!!!!! WHAT A RESULT IF ONLY TEMPORARY THEY WILL NOW HAVE TO PROVIDE SOME KIND OF EDUCATION FOR BEN UNTIL A REFERRAL IS MADE AND A NEW ASSESSMENT IS OBTIANED, funnily enough i had spoken to the principal EWO just before he rang and she never mentioned it!!!! cheers again everyoen thsi is like a reprieve for a while! Pizza hut for tea i reckion, if we can persuade him to leave his bedroom !!!!!!! Thanks again all!!!
-
Hi everyone, Thanks for the advice, ive written a letter to school last night to deregister him and a home school plan, but ace told me thast the last thing i should do becaus ehe will just get ignored then, i dont see i have any other choice, camhs were the ones that diagnosed this anxiety then the psychologist left , the new one we have says something different every time we go, from supporting us to just telling us to send him back to school , the lea say its not a mental health condition its caused by bad parenting!! even though camhs said they would have to help him with that diagnosis. ive asked fior a different camhs and a 3di but my doctor says theres been too many assessments and referrals (the last one was over 2 years ago before he got school refusal) cahs even wrote a letter getting him taxi to and from school because he was so bad they thought that he wouldnt be able to manage a school day by the time he had had the stress of a bus journey, !!!But school says he has no problems!! Looks like i'm deregistering him today unless a miracle happens!!!
-
I really dont know where to turn, my son is diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder we are trying to get a second opinion as we still feel he is typical Aspergers , reading the stuff on here makes me more sure!! he has suffered severe pains and vomiting nd headaches sicne starting year 7 he is now year 8 , and has been off most of the year since january, the educatuion welfare have now become involved i had 2 letters from doctors stating its only in term tiem and how long he had struggled and the lea said they weren't good enough, i had to get one stating he couldnt actually attend school and they would then help him rather than try to prosecute me. My doctor gave me that letter last week and yesterday called us back to see him, upon receipt of the letter, the head of education welfare phoned my doctor and told him my son isn't ill in school , in fact he is fine and they wanted him to withdraw his letter, so much so they threatened him ( the doctor)with legal action if he didn't do that and so not being sure of his legal position he withdrew it, and after he told us this, he spent the next 15 minutes telling my son he is lazy and can't just stay off whne he wants and telling us what bad parents we were and how we were setting him up to fail for the next 40 or 50 years of his life. I contacted the education welfare officer who would only say my case has now been passed to the principal education officer, so i now beleive th next step is court, no one will help me, the doctor now wont even refer us for a 3di test which we have never had.i'm not sure exactly what the lea told him but i know they are all ganging up because i had a meeting to discuss his lea file last week , totally (i thought) unrelated to the education welfare service and the head of inclusion saw me and when i mentioned he was so bad that the doctor had written this note saying he coulnt go to school she said "yes for now" so i knew there was something going on, can anyone help me please??im sure threatening my doctor must be illegal how can they get away with that? i've thought for years its personal but this is real proof, even a c e when i rang them, told me they couldn't beleive what i was teling them and hadn't a clue what to advise me other than sending him back to school and refusing to collect him when they try to send him home which i was doing anyway, they always ring back an hour later and tell me thy wont keep him any longer so i have no choice, there must be something i can do, any ideas??
Anyone used the LGO yet???
in Education
Posted · Report reply
Hi i have had a complaint in with the LGO since lasy May when my son had been too ill to attend school for over 5 months and they refused to provide any llternative and instead threatened us with child protection, so far they have nothing NOTHING, the LEA replied to my complaint with lot of lies and i had to defend myself against all these, i was in regular contact wiht the LGO for months and she was very nice, but as time went on my complaint grew and they will still only deal with the original issue even though so much worse ahs happened since then. They even asked me how the teachers were supposed to recognise my sons aspergers even though the psychologists misdiagnosed, but as i said to them the teachers saw him every day and are supposed to be trained, and if they ahd taken notice of me they woudl have clearly seen what his problems were. They promised about 3 months ago to finalise this case now and i have asked for compensation for the schooling i have had to pay for this year when i was forced to deregister him, they say that i'm unlikely to get anything. I haven't heard anything since, but basically they seem a total waste of time i went hthrough the councils own complaints system twice first as well .This was before the new powers though, but i can't see it being any different. Personally i would contact ipsea or ace and get their help instead , hope that helps , they dotn actually seem to ahve any powers to force anyone to do anything in my experience!!