Pink40lady

Thanks Baddad,wow what a long reply Yes i have considered her behaviour to possibly be down to normal teenage tantrums etc,but as a mother of 6..3 of which are also girls aged 22,20 & 16,i have to say what i experience with "H" is far worse than all 3 of my eldest put together,hence why i do suspect some of it is down to either her asd or her past,she came from what i can only describe as a pretty dismal existence & after reading some of the links today i have discovered that from 0 to 3 years is the time when most of this damage occurred..She was never stimulated or spoken to,one doctor was appalled that at 15 months old she did not know how to smile??Im amazed it took social services 4 further years to remove her from such a damaging environment! As previously mentioned im a mother of 6,when "H" came to me she was used to "sharing" me,she has never had me to herself as such & i have to say had i known what i know now i would have felt it unfair on her to be adopted into such a large family as she does need more attention than i admittedly can give her,my 2 year old has been with me since birth so again i feel that had this been the reason for her change in behaviour it would have happened before now. I do talk to her,but she always insists nothing is bothering her,she comes across as almost depressed,she is ultra passive,doesnt sleep well & says someone wakes her up during the night & she cant get back to sleep(a little worrying as i also recently discovered birth mum has multiple personality disorder) As for adoption support,there answer is always respite,i dont want to palm her off on others,she is my child & my responsibility,i dont think its fair to take her out of her environment that she is accustomed to.I want some help for her to deal with her issues,i want her to be able to look forward to having a future & not have social services thinking a quick fix is to put her somewhere else for the weekend.

Hi and thankyou for your replies. She has a timetable on her bedroom wardrobe,it just doesnt work,the fact that she does put so much effort into school makes more sense to me,i just find it hard to accept that she doesnt want to interact with myself & her siblings. I have found some useful info on this site already,you see i adopted her when she was 5 & was told there was nothing wrong with her,she was diagnosed at 8 years of age with asd after i insisted that she was not at all functioning properly for her age. I know from her history that she came from a badly neglected background,she actually had a brain scan at 12 months old for severe lack of development(i only recently discovered this) so after researching some of the links on this site i suspect she has attachment disorder,im awaiting a re referral to camhs & i will present them with my suspicions. She is quite disruptive when it comes to days out or holidays,i become so stressed that i need another holiday by the time i get back.She has stolen money out of my purse & hurt my adopted baby by standing on her or bumping into her,she has no spacial awareness.Also my hob was left on once & a wooden spoon was producing choking fumes,she was in the kitchen at the time but did not notice,i fear for ours & her safety at times. I had literally came to the end of my tether 2 weeks ago due to the school head of year tearing strips off me for not allowing her to go on a school trip(because her behaviour at school is excellent).She hadnt even given me the letter about the school trip but told the teacher i wouldnt let her go. I suppose in all honesty i am finding it so difficult to live with her condition & so are my other children.I am hoping this time the professionals will listen to me.

Hi everyone. Im tearing my hair out with my 13 nearly 14 year old,s manipulative behaviour..Please tell me if any of you experience the following: Acts completely different outside of our home,almost like a "normal" (i dont like using that term) child,when at home she wont even speak to me unless spoken to,i have to constantly tell her what to do on a daily basis,my life is like the film "Groundhog Day"..her school do not see where im coming from,im almost being made out to be a liar??