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We are just going through the statementing process for M (age 8). The independent reports show that even by ASD standards his strengths and weaknesses are extreme. The SALT tests last week showed that in some areas he is below the 0.1% percentile (i.e. about what would be expected of a child of 5) and in others he is above the 99% (what would be expected of a child of 16) with almost nothing in between. Already in yr 4 he is getting nothing out of school. In his areas of strength (Maths, ICT, Science) they have little to teach him and in his areas of profound weakness (inference, social skills, writing) they do not have the skills and/or resources to help. Looking at what is best for him both in the short term, and after 11 we are totally at a loss to know where to turn. Much though we love him, we have to admit that he has profound problems with social ineraction and understanding but at the same time he has areas of great strength that have to be reinforced. We feel that developing these areas are as important as addressing his social needs. It is in areas such as Maths and Science that he finds comfort, security and happiness. It is now looking increasingly unlikely that he will be able to function in a mainstream school, whatever level of support he gets, yet in a special school, while they can do very well (or so we hear) on the social side, if they can't stretch him intellectually then that could also cause issues. In some ways an ASD unit in a mainstream school sounds attractive, but the only school in our LEA with an ASD unit seems to be the worst of both worlds and has a very poor reputation both as a school and as an ASD unit. Then there is the issue of day, weekly or full time boarding. I am not sure I can face sending him to a full time boarding school for 38 weeks a year; I just can't see how his bond to us as his parents could survive that. OTOH the advice is that he is likely to do much better in a boarding environment - so perhaps weekly? All in all there seem to be a wide range of options - but none feel right at the moment but of all the options the one that the LEA is likely to push for (current primary followed by 2nd rate ASD) seems the worst of all. Can anyone offer advice - or even advise where to go for advice?

I'm afraid I don't have any practical advice to offer, but I can sympathise with your frustrations. You could almost be writing about our son. We too are just at the stage of going through statutory assessment having initially been refused by the LEA (although in our case they gave in before it got to the tribunal hearing). It seems to us that everyone has given up on his toiletting, no one seems to have any idea either what causes it or how to solve it. He claims he doesn't feel it. A succession of consultants and clinics have got us nowhere. I am convinced that the cause is something related to sensory processing but there seems to be no research on this, and no one to help. I have some sympathy with the school - it is hard for them to deal with - but eventually someone needs to take responsibility and you can't end up with everyone trying to pass responsibility onto someone else, with just the poor parents (not to mention the child) left to fend for themselves. For the statement - I would simply write down everything he needs and don't be prepared to settle for anything less. On the toiletting they really haven't got a leg to stand on. Both SEN and Disability legislation make it clear that the LEA is responsible in this area. If you are not doing so do talk to some of the advisory organisations out there (IPSEA, SOSSEN, NAS and so on) who can give very good advice

We are in SE London / Surrey so not that far away and we're at the early stages of considering secondary education. Round here Whitgift School looks to have good SEN provision, and the Ed Psych also says Dulwich College would also be interested in ASD pupils. I know that both are first rate for bright NTs; but also both are rather expensive. A little outside the area but the Royal Alexandra & Albert School just outside Redhill is an exceptional school with a very good reputation for ASD. I am very interested to hear about any others, particularly smaller schools.