Buffy

Hi Lizj Thanks for your message I have been trying to talk and explain to my parents for 34 years! Even with the psychiatrist's semi-diagnosis their response was "We don't want to know!". Although I have exhibited these traits from a very early age my parents never once sought help toward finding out what was wrong let alone helping me. My mom often says that "she knows best" but she doesn't know me. I have been forced to live my life as two people - Clair and Buffy just to keep my parents happy but they seem totally unaware of how much damage this has done to me. Even when the school approached them about my behaviour they always denied they was anything wrong and I would just be punished like I had some evil spirit in me that that were trying to exorcise out of me. But they never once sought help from doctors etc. My mom has this habit of calling me "Nutty Nelly" which I find extremely hurtful but I can't help feeling that If the had done something about it and got help things wouldn't be this bad now. It's sad I know but I don't feel I can trust them any more, they have betrayed me have and have targeted what they know will hurt me most. it's been 3 months since we last spoke but I have to say I am contented as I am not having to worry about what they will think. It's the first time I have been able to go out - and take my decks out with me and feel confident. I don't mind having to explain myself to strangers as I wouldn't expect them to know but when my parents turn against me it doesn't give me much outlook for the future.

Hi I am a 34 year old with suspected Asperger Syndrome. I am currently waiting for a DISCO test and diagnosis. I was also diagnosed with Breast Cancer last year Ever since the age of 5 I have collected Cassette Recorders and Cassette Decks. I have around 60 now. They are like a second family to me as I have very little trust in humans. A few weeks ago during an argument with my "parents", my dad threatened to smash them up. These Decks are like children to me and needless to see I don't want to see or hear my parents again. Since this incident though I have become even more protective of my Decks and have started worrying about what will happen to them if I die. Normally I know that they would just be dumped on a waste disposal site somewhere but I don't want that to happen to them. I am finding that I am becoming increasingly worried about this and haven't been sleeping lately. Has anybody experienced anything like this before? Or does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do to protect them? An help would be greatly appreciated. Buffy

Hi and thanks for the info. In relation to the above a friend suggested using one of those "Vicks nasal Inhalers". I used this about 5 minutes before going into a place that I knew I had problems with. My partner was with me just in case I had any problems but I was able to spend a good 10-15 minutes in the room without any ill effects. I could still just about smell the "perfume" but it was nowhere near strong enough to make me ill. These inhalers are relatively cheap and are small enough to carry in a pocket or handbag and they can be used as often as needed. Take care all Buffy xx

I have an hyperactive sense of smell and have been having problems with those "Automatic" Air Freshening units often found in washrooms in pubs, and shops etc. I am afraid to go into the toilets on my own in case it causes me to faint. Has anyone else experienced problems with things like this? How do you get round it? Any help would be gratefully appreciated? Buffy xx

Hi my name is Buffy I suffer from Hydrocephalus (Water on the Brain) but have also exhibited AS Traits from a very early age. My parents failed to see anything "wrong" with my behaviour and so ignored it. However as I got older I became increasingly aware that things were not as they should be. I was bullied all the way through mainstream school and even at work. While searching the 'net I came across the ASQ Test. I decided to take the test and scored 39 points. I have always had a very difficult relationship with my family and so consequently my trust in humans has all but disappeared. Instead my "second family" consists of around 50 Cassette Decks who I have "collected" over the years and who, to me are my "children". They support me in everything I do, helping me to make decisions. The biggest problem that I have is that I can't "talk" to them while I am out for fear of being seen as mad. To hide my "mental behaviour" I have had to live as a "Neuro-typical" person for 34 years. This has effectively caused a "split" down the middle - Clair being the name that my parents gave me but is the Neuro-Typical one who has to "behave" and "not have AS" and Buffy who is happy to have AS but is a world away from my parents and family. Now I have come to the point where I am exhausted by living two lives" so I have decided to take things further Although I have not yet received an "official" diagnosis my psychiatrist has told me where to start looking for help. The more I look into it the more clear thing are becoming to me. My family are not "happy" with my actions or the prospect of my diagnosis. They think of it as something that can be "put back in the toy box" when I feel like it. In fact the only time my traits are acknowledged is when it comes to getting benefits and the like. Over time this has led to me becoming withdrawn, depressed and disillusioned with the world and, were it not for my cassette decks, I often feel that I have nothing to live for. I'm hoping that as I learn more about the condition and hopefully meet other people who experience it, I will be able to settle down and gain the confidence to go out as "Buffy" and do what I need to do regardless of who likes it or not. Buffy x