tabz2711
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Posts posted by tabz2711
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Hi,this really concerns me too, our 10 yr old son is awaiting appt. with clinical pysch following initial appt. with paed ( who suspects AS ) if he faced with a questionnaire with multiple choice type answers he will definitely know what the 'correct' answer should be, even though he may not behave that way in real life.
He is intelligent enough to 'know' the right answer but this is totally at odds with his ability to demonstrate this in real life where the are too many variables, too much noise/distraction etc. to cope with.
Another problem we had in the initial appointment, despite me having a chat with the paed before and giving her an A4 sheet of his problems (to us, at least ) was that I found it really hard to be honest about him whilst he was in the room, especially when she asked him about making friends, and he said he had lots of friends
I was very reluctant to dismiss this in front of him, and this applied to lots of the questions.
I wonder if, together, we were not giving a very accurate picture..... ?
wac
You have every reason to be concerned as I felt the same when my daughter was being assessed, I had no time without her to explain what living with her was like and how she struggles with friends and social skills. It would have been to cruel to say it in front of her and the reaction from her would have been hell afterwards. I too gave 2 A4 sheets of S's problems and tried to say as much as I could without upseting my daughter. I am now seeing the mental healh practioner on Tues by myself to discuss the results of the ADOS test.
I have been in touch with the area Autistic society who said that the ados test was an extra tool and all the other assessentmentss still need to be taken into consideration, otherwise hospitals would only do the ADOS test and not bother about family history assessments and all thoose questionnaires
good luch with your appointment with your son and be aware of the loop holes in the system.
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Quote from Jen Rose So we went private and our psychologist said straightaway AS and he told us that the ADOS
is not a good test for AS/HFA dx as it is just ticking boxes and kids with AS/HFA are usually
very very clever and can quite often appear sociable and not show difficulties in the ADOS.
The lady who assessed my daughter told us that a child with AS would not have been clever enough to try and cheat the ADOS test so that they would not be diagnosed with AS like my daughter did.
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LAst year we were told by CAMHS clinical psychologist that M had AS.In our area it is the CAMHS psychiatrist that has the final say and she performed
the ADOS on M and he passed it and she said NO to AS.
Our Clinical Psychologist asked her to reconsider as M screams AS to any professional
that sees him but she wouldnt so we were left in a quandry.
Clinical psych couldnt/wouldnt go above Psychiatrist but was telling us that she had
never been wrong about a child with AS before and that in her opinion M had it.
So we went private and our psychologist said straightaway AS and he told us that the ADOS
is not a good test for AS/HFA dx as it is just ticking boxes and kids with AS/HFA are usually
very very clever and can quite often appear sociable and not show difficulties in the ADOS.
So, me being me i couldnt let this lie and i told the clinical psychologist this and behind the scenes
i found out a few months later there had been a big row between psychiatrist and psychologist and in
the end she discharged M and us saying that we didnt need her as we now had the private psych.
But i keep in touch with her and let her know how M is as she was very upset and felt that she
wasnt able to do her job properly and the best thing is the LEA have written to her asking her advice
as part of the asessment process so im hoping she will confirm.
Oops just realised im rambling, anyway so in my opinion and our psychs opinion ADOS is nowhere near
100% accurate, i could pass it and im AS
Thank you for sharing this with me JenRose it was very interesting, The woman who saw my daughter also said that it was so clear that she had AS, I don't even know what she was whether a clinical nurse or mental health person. I am seeing her again in a few weeks on my own to see what the next step is, at least she has not been discharged yet.
thanks again Tabz
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Hi Tabz,As I think I've probably said to you before, my daughter has gone through many phases of acceptance and denial after her late dx. She also seems to go through cycles of more and then less autistic behaviour. Earlier this year she was going out with us to retaurants and cinemas and even phoning her friends. She announced to us and to her consultant psych who was still doing home visits, "I'm not autistic any more", and chatted happily to her for half an hour. I didn't know if this was just an act to get Camhs off her back or if she really believed it, but a few weeks later she withdrew completely and stopped talking.
She has now accepted that she's autistic but still goes through phases when she appears more or less so and phases when she will play it down. Right now she is quite sociable, seeing her old school friends once a week. Yet she didn't see anyone at all for three months before that. Some days she is very articulate and expressive - other days she can barely ask for a drink. One day she went into complete overload when I thrust a new duvet I'd bought at her (silly me!). A few days later she was completely unfazed when I, her brother and two friends arrived at the front door all at once. People might draw very different conclusions about her based on an observation on any single day. I don't know what the ADOS entails, but I don't think a snapshot is an accurate way to judge whether someone has AS or not.
This is possibly a very confusing time for your daughter, Tabz. If she does have AS it may take her a long time to work through it all: it may be a bit like finding out one was adopted at birth, having to reassess your identity completely. It's difficult as a parent to know what to do to help - I wish I could offer advice but I'm still very mixed up myself!
Hi Kathryn
as per usual, you posts always strike a chord as your daughter seems so similar to mine. What you are describing is just what my daughter is like sometimes she is fine and then boom she reacts in such a way. At the moment she is going out and has friends, God help if there is a fall out and we have not even got to boyfriend problems yet. If she knew that I was posting here she would gte depressed and stay in bed for days so I delete the history as soon as I have finished on the site.
I just don't know what to do next, do I accept the results or take it further.
Tabzx
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I have no idea about the ADOS test I'm afraid and I don't know whether your dd is Aspergers. If you and others believe she is then it is very possible she is frightened and is denying that she might be different. If you think that might be the reason, then please pass the following onto her.When I was a child my parents both knew I was different and my dad wanted me to be assessed. My mum refused as she knew I was academically bright and wanted me in the same school as my sisters and she thought if I was diagnosed with something I'd be put in a special school. This was back in the 1980's and early 1990's. I had to go to hospital to have my height and weight measured as I was underweight and delayed in my growth and the paediatricians picked up that I was different and questioned my mum. She deliberately brushed aside their concerns and said I was fine, knowing I was not but not wanting me labelled. As this was before Aspergers had even been categorized she was unable to put all my aspects down as one cohesive whole. My lack of co-ordination was just me being clumsy. My lack of social skills was just because I was shy. My lack of selfhelp skills was because I was disorganised and didn't think. My lack of explaining things was again because I was quiet and scatterbrained. My way of walking and talking was just me. My obsession with reading the same book (and sometimes the same page) over and over was just me being me. My handflapping, ditto. She doesn't still know about my habit of smelling the paper on books or tearing bits of paper up, but she does know I often read books backwards. Again, put down to me being me. She brushed aside the little things like the fact I never took much interest in fashion or music.
So I grew up believing that all my difficulties, all the things I struggled with, were just me and I carried on thinking I was normal. I was getting my expected grades at school so what did it matter if I would spend breaktimes staring into space? Or even when I started VI form although I did start talking to a few people I couldn't then phone them up for a chat or go into town with them. The level of friendship was kept purely on the "work colleagues" level.
Then I went to university and because I was very immature and had little concept of the real world I was unable to cope properly. I struggled on because nobody told me that surviving on your bf's breakfast toast and yoghurts for several weeks was not normal (I'd run out of money and didn't know to ask for help). I didn't brush my hair so at 19 my mum had to cut it out. I didn't wash my bedsheets so ended up sleeping under a pile of towels.
And now I'm 31 and yes, I am married with two lovely children. But I daren't dare learn to drive as I can't predict what other people will do or keep multiple instructions in my head. I have a friend who lives in the same town as me but I can't phone her up for a chat and it takes a lot of courage to ask if she wants to visit or me to visit her. I can't read people's faces very well and can't do eye contact comfortably. I can't cope with shopping as everything gets too crowded and noisy. I have a degree and because I am not a teamplayer and find it very hard to think outside my routines and rigidity I've never had a job with any responsibility. I cannot co-ordinate myself enough to brush my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face, make sure my clothes are clean. On any day at least one of those things will be missing. Ironically I have no problems remembering the lads are clean and sorted, just myself.
The point I'm trying to make is that if you are Aspergers then forcing yourself to think you are NT can have serious consequences. I'm due to have an appointment next week to have it semi-officially confirmed if I'm on the spectrum. There is no adult provision in my area. All I can do is finally have confirmation of why I struggle with some things and then try and carry on as best I can. If I had had help earlier on in my life, I might have found some things easier to cope with.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, so much of what you have said is my daughter. I feel too that it would be better to have a DX so that she can understand why she is different and learn to embrace her differences and be proud of who she is.
take care
tabz
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My daughter had an ADOS test after seeing a CAHMS nurse twice who said it was clear that she had aspergers and had showed the psychaitist all the results of the questionnaires we had filled in, observations of my daughter and our past history. My daughter was determined to fool the Ados test and she made sure that she looked at the Doctor at all times, she even said she acted as socialable as she could talking all the times and even waved her arms around lol(they will have her sectioned next) My daughter is 15 and very bright. She told the Doctor that she had plenty or friends and had no worries at school. She said that she was going to prove to everyone she did not have Aspergers.
When we went today the Cahms nurse said that she didn't have Aspergers as she did not score on the ADOS test so she couldn't have it.
My question is what do I do next something or leave it alone. I would be glad and happy if she did not have Aspergers but her behaviour and social skills tell me otherwise. Even the nurse phoned me the same day after the first appointment to make another appointment as it was so clear.
I don't want to seem as if I have Munchausen's by proxy but I have always known she is different from the other three and if it is not Aspergers then what is it.
I should feel very relieved that she does not have it but I am not as it is so clear to me, the nurse and psychartist, the only reason they asked for the ADOS test was to give my daughter more help at school and in later life.
I am a very mixed up mum today. any advice will be greatly received. Has anyone else experienced this and what did you do about it.
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The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you
whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each
answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down
UNTIL you have answered the question!
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and
close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things
in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the
elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through
the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You
just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not
answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more
chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you
do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not
been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers
got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively
disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a
four-year-old.
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I've always found reading to be difficult, well that's not entirely true as I used to read voraciously but from my late teens onwards I've hardly read a book. I can read newspapers, magazines, backs of cornflake packets, bus timetables you name it, just not books. Well, recently on a whim I bought a book from a local charity shop, brought it home and hey presto, found reading it an absolute pleasure. The book is Bill Bryson - Notes From A Small Island. It's not just informative but really funny too, sometimes I find myself laughing out loud. Yay! I'm reading again
Hi Jonathan
I noticed that Bill Byson is apprearing all over the country with his show, we are going to see him in Buxton, he might be worth seeing if he is near you
S*
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Hi everyone,
I saw these items on ebay today and ordered some for my little foster daughter and my two other children aged 7, 11 and 12.
I am hoping I can reward their positive behaviour as it is so easy to tell them of when they have behaved badly.
Here is the link definetely worth a look at.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?Vie...N%3AIT&rd=1
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/12-Caught-Being-Good...oQQcmdZViewItem
I ordered the 40 set of coins as it was better value, you could even share them witha friend. I am going to get jam jars so the kiddies can collect them in and at the end of the week there will be some kind of reward for each child.
I ordered this set as well
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Encouragement-bracel...oQQcmdZViewItem
lets hope they work, I have also made some behaviour warning cards
yellow card for first warning
red card for final warning and a consequence
purple card for good behaviour
pink card for excellent behaviour and a treat, such as going to the park, playing a special game, ect
I never punish or reward food as most children I foster have eating disoders.
I am very happy to send anyone them by email for you to print of if you think that they might be of some use. Just send me a pm and they will wind there way to you straight away.
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Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful piece of work with us. It is so moving.
I will certainly will be "dancing amongst the tulips with my clogs on"
S*
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My foster daughter has attachment difficulties and she too finds any unstructured time very difficult, I have encouraged her to join any lunch time activities. The school is not supportive and I feel that CH is very vunerable and unsafe during those times.
I have even helped to run a club at lunch time so that I know that she is safe.
I have been told that children who have these diffiulties might be able to get a mentor to help at those difficult times.
We have to keep CH at home for a week whilst the school put safe measures in place for her. She is leaving that school in a couple of weeks and we are hoping the next school will be more understanding of her difficulties. This school takes in children that have been expelled and also has many foser children with lots of issues, so really need to sort out stratagies to enable them to cope.
Hope you get the lunch times situation sorted out
S*
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Hi yes AS kids are very vunerable, but you all so get this type of behaviour with kids that are not AS, other children are quick to find a vunerable child and will find ways of abusing the trust. My foster daughter would also give away anything to enable her to find a friend. My own daughter is kind and will share with everyone sometimes she really loses out. I was a bit fed up at Easter when my daughters friend came round and she told my daughter that she had had 12 easter eggs and had eaten them by Easter Sunday, She then asked to share T's who only received three eggs. I didn't want T not to share but also felt that this girl had had enough.
I think you are aware of you son's behaviour and trying to change it. Maybe self esteem work might help him and talking about buying friendships with people who are not worth it. Maybe some of his spends could be put away for a rainy day, savings or holidays etc.
all the best
S*
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CONGRATULATIONS FOR PASSING YOUR B.A
WELL DONE
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http://www.tesco.com/electrical/specials.a...ORT_Special_PosHere you go Tabz, have a look at the link above. The one shown is ?100 but I got the same model with a stand and sleeve board for ?156. That one dosen't seem to be available any more.
thanks Viper, will look at the link now
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As some of you know I have medical problems that involve my limbs aching when I use them for periods of time. One of the things I find very difficult is ironing. With 6 people in my house we seem to get an awful lot of it. We needed a new iron (the 4th one in about 6 years) and a new ironing board. When I looked at the prices of a decent iron and board I realised I could probably get a steam press for about the same price. I used to work in a well known dry cleaners so I know how to use one. It really isn't hard and something anyone can use. It even comes with a video.Anyway it arrived today and it cuts ironing time in half. It also helps with my medical problems. I would recommend one to everyone if you are thinking of buying a new iron. It cost me ?156.00 and is worth every penny.
Hi Viper
thanks for sharing this with us, please can you tell me which one you purchased,..... I have been looking for one for a while as my sister bought one a couple of years ago it was ?500 and I didn't want to spend that much on one. Did you look around at different models, you probably knew what you were looking for if you have worked in a dry cleaners
many thanks S*
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Hi Everyone
It's nearly time for the caption winners to step forward.
The decision was very hard and I enlisted my family to help me, we all had two votes each and then the score was counted up. This way it was fair as it was not just the captions that tickled my fancy but made all the family Laugh Out Loud
In fifth place " Mind out of the way I can't see how the download is coming on" Minerva ( Very clever I thought)
In fourth place " "Scientists were amazed when they discovered these conjoined twin dogs" Viper
In third place "Urgh you've been licking humans" Call me jaded
In second place " See, I told you you'd come crawling back wiv yer tail between yer legs!" Baddad
and the winner:
Hope no one is offended by it
"Darling, lets be kinky tonight and do it people style" Something vague.
not sure my female whippets would like it lol
Thank you to all the contestants, I thought the standard was so high, it made my judging very hard .
I have to share a couple of others that were sent in too.
"mmmmmmm........marmite...........love it"
"Aggggggghhhhhhhhhh-Dogbreathe"
and lastly "Trinny and Suzannah as they really are ......... 2 b...tches fighting over a sofa.
As you can see what a hard job I had.
So look forward to next weeks competition with the new judge Something vague taking up the important job
S*
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Wow that's Brilliant thank you for sharing it with us
S*
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Hi there
My Hubby loves one of my meals that I made up. Its chicken pieces, leek, chopped bacon, cheese sauce, garlic and morsorella cheese on top. I serve it with sliced pototoes in their jacket cooked in the oven in olive oil and garlic. Just wondering whether to do it tonight buts its too hot.
I have been reading about cornflakes on the forum and couldn't work out if they are good for AS children or not, if they are I have a fab easy receipe that my kiddies love.
Its chicken breasts cut into three stripes lengthways , beaten egg and crushed cornflakes, I crush mine in the food processor. Then dip the chicken into the egg and then the cornflakes and put in the oven for around twenty mins turning half way. so easy and no additives.
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Its Hot I know, I'm sure you are all hot and bothered, but......... the compo is in its last few hours so come on and get your thinking caps on.
I will post the winner an ice lolly
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Just seen the line up for what's on this morning and they are going to interview a lad who feels he has missed out because his brother has AS. Its worth a watch.
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now come on!!!
Our first guest judge and an empty inbox... just not good enough you naughty peeps!!
I don't want to have to get out the naughty chair, so fingers out and NO SLACKING
L&P
BD
Thanks for that Baddad, I would rather the disapline came from you as its my first time. Woh betide (soz sp) everyone if I judge again.
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<'>............thanks guys...........minerva <'> ...........little gosling 
you must be very proud.Well little tweety died last night at 11.30pm
..........he seemed to go down hill from tea time and just would,nt eat or swallow.Poor guy 
..........I did get attached to him,he used to snuggle in the palm of my hand.We are going to bury him later.Wish I could have done more but I guess these things just happen.Sorry Suze
you did your best for the little guy, its really hard to rear tiny baby birds.
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Hi Tabz,I suppose I got sidetracked from the main thread of having a parent with autism. My father realised that he had AS when his granddaughter was diagnosed at the age of four. This led to his son being diagnosed and then my father being told that he most likely had AS. I was not brought up by my father but he is USELESS where emotional support is needed. Also thinks all the world is wrong and he is right. I am very like him, except that my empathizing skills are of olympic grade compared with his!! My conclusion is that where there is AS, there is almost always more of it lurking around in the family.
Yoyo
Hi Yoyo
I agree about once someone gets diagnosed you can spot it in others. I have a feeling that I might have AS but with my profession as a counsellor I have been trained well so its not so noticable to anyone else, but I know how I feel and react to others. My Mum, brother, Uncle, poss Grandfather, nephew, niece and one daughter poss two all show strong traits of AS.
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LOLWell we had our very own gosling hatch at 4pm today
just in time for my youngest son to get home from school & watch the main part
it was sooooo sweet!
But by 730pm Camerons tutor came & took the incubator so that she can feed the babies & show them at a couple of schools.......not that i'm totally selfish or anything but.......
Cameron & me just incubated the lil things for 28 days, turning them morning & night, checking temperatures & water etc constantly & i think we shoulda kept hold of them a lil longer, at least long enough to have seen the first one eat or a second one hatch!!
BLEAH!!!
Anyway, I asked her about your baby & she said it would be best to ask a vet as it would depend on what sort of bird it is etc and as we dont know.......unless you do have a city farm/farm/zoo that have birds that would be willing to help out.
No new help i'm afraid
How is he doing anyway?
Awww that's so sad, poor Cameron he needed a little longer to be with the gosling. What an achievement in hatching a healthy gosling
<'>
Bad news
in Help and Advice
Posted · Report reply
Sorry JenRose that you are having such a difficult tiime at the moment. Could you involve anyone else i.e citizens advice or talk to the Doctor about it as it must be causing your DH more anxiety with all these problems. Try and get as much help as you can because surely this is bullying in the work force.
here are some
<'> 
<'> 
<'> that you must need at the moment don't let them win.