Hey All
Wow. Where to start?
Ok, I'm 28 and my partner is 38. We've been together for 18 months and we've been living together for nearly a year too. (I relocated 130 miles, in part to be with him, and our housemate has just moved out - so we finally have space & privacy *yay* ).
Obviously I love him very much, but so frequently we seem to have communication problems. We speak the same language, but we may as well not; there's so much misunderstanding of what each of us means.
Someone suggested to me some months ago that my partner may have Aspergers and I have since researched what this is and was shocked to find that SW (partner) meets an awful lot of the 'criteria'. Unfortunately, it has not been suggested to him before and he is not diagnosed. But it has been playing on my mind and this evenings outburst has pushed me to properly asking for help...
It's really putting a huge strain on our relationship and i find it very hurtful a lot of the time; I seem to spend more time tryign to address and sort an issue than being happy in this relationship. And it is very, very hard work. But when SW is good, he's really, really great and I don't want to give up on him or us.
He doesn't get on with his family and doesn't really have any friends, so I want to see what I can do to communicate better with him (& me understand him, which may help me feel less hurt); I find that he's bringing me down an awful lot.
TBH, even if we don't continue with the relationship, it would be great to see if I can help him, to assist him moving on with his life.
I apologise if this comes across as moaning, but I can assure you that his characteristics really are similar to that of a 'classic' aspergers sufferer and I just want to help us, save us and carry on happily with our lives; together, without having to put soo much effort into us. I haven't mentioned this to my friends or family as I doubt they know what it is, but maybe on here, I can find some understanding advice more about the condition in adults and maybe a little bit of support..?
How can I get a solid diagnosis? How would I bring it up with him, without causing great offense?
Anyone who has been through similar, with someone of a similar age? Any advice is gratefully received.
Thank you for listening, all the same.
Spirit
