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Aeolienne

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Posts posted by Aeolienne

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

     

    This is an interesting thread. Although I do not have a diagnosis, I certainly have traits that would suggest ASD (severe difficulties making friends, obsessional traits (which resulted in treatment) and difficulties with face to face communication)

    How did you manage to get married if you find making friends difficult?

  5. Posted · Report reply

    Speakers include:

     

    Carol Povey

    Director, Centre for Autism, National Autistic Society

     

    Deepa Korea

    Chief Executive, Research Autism

     

    The coalition Government is committed to support young people with Autism Spectrum Conditions into work and away from benefit dependence. To make this a reality, it is vital that service providers, local authorities, the education system and the private sector all work together to learn what works and how to ensure successful out comes.

     

    This national event will highlight the policy and strategy as set out in the "Fulfilling and Rewarding Lives: Evaluating Progress" and look at the latest research findings on how to best support people with ASC trough the education system and into work.

     

    Attend this conference and hear from senior representatives across these sectors sharing good practice models in delivering services to ensure successful transitions for young people through education and into employment.

     

    http://www.neilstewartassociates.com/sh282/

  11. Posted · Report reply

    My sister was babbling on when we were out the other night saying how she'd read an article about what good employees AS people are and that they are highly sought after - particularly by Goldman Sachs.

     

    I'm not saying that that is an impossible scenario - great for them. Somehow, I don't think all our children will be getting a job with them - the same as not all our children will end up being Bill Gates or Einstein.

    Perhaps working at Goldman Sachs isn't all it's cracked up to be...

    Inside the world of London's 24/7 interns

  20. Posted · Report reply

    Like your example of the all girls school - not the best place to find boys in your teens - and I guess if you don't mix with mixed company that would reduce your chances too... so partly circumstance can explain some things.

    Didn't stop most of my contemporaries from pairing off. In any case I happened to study two very male-dominated subjects at university (maths and philosophy).

  22. Posted · Report reply

    If you really want a relationship then dealing with the issues that have prevented you having one might help - if you can figure out what those are and how to address them.

    What issues? I can only speculate. The main "explanation" I've received for my plight is that I'm "too intelligent" which baffles me because I've known of any number of women who are far more academically gifted than me who still manage to attract men. A former line manager got married shortly after getting me dismissed from my last job but one (not that I'm implying any connection), having had two previous relationships during the five years she had worked in that organisation. She has a PhD, an extensive publication record and is one of very few female managers in that department. I on the other hand spent 8 years on the bottom rung and got dismissed with a damning report about how I was totally lacking in analytical skills, needed too much guidance, lacked the necessary initiative to be a researcher etc etc.

     

    The only other explanation I've received is that it's the Asperger's, which in turn begs the question as to why other Asperger women aren't affected to the same extent. More specifically, that I can't read the non-verbal signals that indicate someone is interested in me and/or I don't give off the right non-verbal signals in return. Then there's the wider issue of not having many close friends, certainly none who've attempted to pair me off with anyone. I've always found all-female company uncomfortable, not just because of not being able to contribute to conversations about boyfriends, but also I suspect from having been caught between my peers at a single-sex school on one hand and annoying female relatives on the other, and feeling unable to confide in any of them. I had one great-aunt of whom it was said that she liked to wind up her younger relatives by asking them if they'd ever been to bed with anyone, and assume that a refusal to answer me they had (if female) or hadn't (if male). Although I never received this treatment myself, presumably because by the time I was 16 or so my aunt had become sufficiently vague about how old I was, it enraged me to think my aunt had done it to the members of my mother's generation. Although my mum said she'd never do such a thing herself, the fact that she told me about it suggested that she thought her aunt's behaviour was funny - and hence acceptable.

     

    Another thing which may or may not be relevant is that I have never gone in for instant attraction - the eyes meeting across a crowded room scenario (or its internet chat room equivalent) is so not me. When I have fancied people in the past it took weeks or even months to feel the spark. Is the idea of online dating that you force yourself to go out with people that you are not attracted to, on the offchance that it might, just might, eventually click?

     

    It's enough to make me wish I were an overweight brunette, because I've heard tell of women who found their first ever partner as a result of an image revamp, which almost always involved losing weight and dying their hair blond. Unfortunately my BMI lies in the "ideal" range and I've been a Scandinavian-style blonde since the day I was born.

  24. Posted · Report reply

    I became quite familiar with a lot of the Spanish and Latin American repertoire while dating a Brazilian soprano a few years ago. Aside from Spanish and Latin American, she specialises in baroque so her recitals in London might be your kind of thing - I know I enjoyed them. Google Gabriela Di Laccio.

    Does that include the music of the Conquistadores?

     

    I'm currently listening to Patrick Wolf, The Magic Position.

  25. Posted · Report reply

    To be honest, I'm not sure what you were expecting - though that may just be to do with missing details in your post. You state that:

     

    but that doesn't actually give anything to work on. It's a diagnosis. The only way really to read that would be "I have AS and I want it cured" - you haven't actually explained why you want CBT and what you hope to achieve from it.

    I'd have liked to work on my difficulties in forming/maintaining friendships and relationships. Preferably not by being fobbed off with the same old same old "just join clubs and societies".

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