Lyndalou
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Posts posted by Lyndalou
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It means exactly what I said which is that everyone who lives in this country is subject to the decisions made by whichever Government is in power at any given time. I for one feel that it is up to us to challenge what we feel is unjust or unlawful. We see injustice daily at both local and national level. I try to keep abreast of what is happening locally and nationally (and yes, most of how I find this out is through the usual media outlets but I have 2 children and a house to look after so I don't trawl the web in order to find this information because I just don't have the time) in order to make informed choices about what I think is 'right' and what is 'wrong'.
A few years ago, due to the incompetent administration of council funds our local council (where I lived at the time) started cutting services across the board, targeting the most vulnerable including the mentally ill, those with physical disabilities and homeless people first of all. Everything was squeezed and this downward spiral has continued as resources become ever more stretched. What was obvious to me as someone who worked within the voluntary sector when all this began was that there appeared to be some arrogant belief amongst councillors that this sector would not be able to stick up for themselves and would take these cuts lying down but they haven't and there has been a lot of opposition to the cuts. Community centres have closed down, public areas have the barest of maintenance and now schools are on the hit list with 'efficiency' being cited as the reason for combining schools.
I simply see what is happening now as a national expression of this local problem; the Government are just as incompetent and corrupt as government. They are just as short-sighted and just as unprincipled and the only difference is that their decisions affect the entire country.
How many people on this forum do you think believe the Government are making the best decisions for everyone right now?
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Hi Claire
There are a few of us who are on here from various parts of Scotland. Don't know what part of the country you are in but feel free to PM me if you'd like.
Lynda
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I will not give you the facts and figures of what this current vendetta is doing to the benefit scrounger because if I do this post will be moderated because people don't like to hear the truth and that is why the plight of those subject to this government inspired evil goes unnoticed in twenty first century first world Britain, because it's not in the media therefore it doesn't exist.
I think it would be fair comment to say that everyone who uses this site and who lives in the UK is affected every day by the decisions made by those who represent us. It is very helpful to have honest discussion taking everyone's viewpoint into account.
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I do in many ways think that Valentines Day is just another way of making money for business but it is good to have a day to remember that your loved ones are special. Hubby and I do give each other something on Valentines Day - he gives me a card and flowers and I get him a card and a small gift - but it would be completely meaningless if we didn't tell each other we appreciate and love each other all throughout the year. It is just another day after all! I do understand your sentiments Sa Skimrande...
Enjoy your meal out Smiley
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Hi Claire
It may also be worthwhile contacting the Scottish Diagnostic and Assessment Service which is offered by Scottish Autism. They do provide specialist diagnostic services and Scottish Autism also have a Helpline number. I have contacted the service myself for advice and have found them to be very helpful.
www.scottishautism.org will bring up all the information about Scottish Autism and the services they provide.
Lynda
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Hi Claire and welcome to the forum
Is it the diagnosis of Aspergers that you disagree with? Would you be able to be a little more specific as to what it was about the diagnostic process you are unhappy about? I would think that you are within your rights to request a second opinion especially if you feel that the diagnosis was not the result of a thorough and/or professionally conducted testing process.
Lynda
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To all members
Recently, we've been dealing with some spammers on the site. Although this hasn't been affecting anyone's ability to post topics, it is affecting them when they are clicking on unverified links. So, to try to cut down on this happening, from now on we would request that members do not have links or advertising for external sites, either in their signaures or on their profile page.
If you are posting links within threads can you please message one of the moderators first so we are able to check it to make sure it is legitimate. This way we hope to ensure that members aren't subject to phishing (people copying your passwords etc).
This will apply to everyone who uses the site to keep our computers and phones safe from people who could exploit us. If you have any questions or issues regarding this request could you also private message one of the moderators about this and we will do our best to answer them for you.
Many Thanks
The Moderating Team
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Hi again Sue
I don't have much time just now to write a long response but from what you are describing, it sounds like anxiety is a key factor in your son's school day. Meltdowns are simply an outward expression of the person with ASD's inability to cope with sensory or emotional overload. Anxiety can increase all the difficulties and increase the likelihood that the person will reach 'overload' more rapidly than if they were not in that anxious state.
I would suggest that your son anticipates that he is going to have a hard time at school from the moment he gets up in the morning and I wouldn't be surprised if he's even having anxiety-induced dreams through the night. By the time he gets to the school gates all sorts of scenarios might be running through his head. He is starting the school day with his anxiety levels already sitting at 'fight or flight' and all he is wanting to do is protect himself in whatever way he can. This might mean that if he feels 'threatened' by other people that he will lash out or hide. It sounds like he doesn't recognise the fact that he is so stressed at all but it can be very difficult for people with ASD to recognise their own emotions.
It's great that you have more people involved in supporting your son now. Things would appear to have got into a vicious cycle now so it needs to be broken somehow! Do you know for instance that there are special 'fidget' seats and 'fidget' toys that might help your son to cope a bit better during lessons? Is there a quiet place that your son can go if the stress is obviously starting to build? Someone else might have to recognise this for him. Does he have certain 'rituals' which calm him down and keep him focused he could do away from the classroom or even in the classroom?
Lynda
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Hi Sue
Welcome to the forum. It can be a difficult time around the time of diagnosis with all the uncertainties and unknowns. There is no 'right' or 'wrong way as such to raising a child with ASD but if you can provide as much structure and routine as you can and find ways to lessen anxiety caused by stressful situations then your little boy will feel more able to cope.
Now that you have a diagnosis for your little boy have there been any discussions with the school regarding additional support for him? If you have been going through the process for a while then the question of a support plan might have come up before now and as it was last September he received his diagnosis did anything come into play in the new school year? It's likely your lad has difficulties concentrating and taking part in lessons - does anyone work alongside him to help him with the lessons? He probably has some difficulty relating to his peers and in the playground this might be especially difficult - does anyone give him guidance or support at all during this time? Being excluded so often will really disrupt his ability to learn and establish relationships with his teachers or the other kids and it must be very hard for you and him to cope with this!
It does sound like you need an urgent meeting with the school to discuss the situation. Does your little boy have an Educational Psychologist? Does he have a Social Worker? These professionals could work alongside you and support you.
With regards to discipline...come back to the fact that your little boy needs structure and boundaries and this includes what is acceptable or unacceptable behaviour. It can be difficult to know what is the Aspergers and what is just 'normal' naughtiness but children with ASD's can learn these things although it can take quite a lot of reinforcement and repetition for it to sink in!
Lynda
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Hi Testing_Manners
I really wouldn't rule out a number of potential job possibilities at this stage. There are all sorts of jobs out there that you might not have considered as yet andmany of them might fall into the category of 'right' jobs for you. I've done all sorts of jobs in my life and often only be doing them have I realised that I'm either not suited for them or that I enjoy elements of the job but not others and sometimes the job has taught me a great deal because I've found it frustrating/difficult/challenging.
I know you work in your parent's shop so straight away you probably have a number of skills that you may not have taken into account. Many skills are generic or transferable across different jobs and it can be a case of improving upon those skills and adding to those skills through experience. There will be people who walk into jobs or careers and excel in them right away, working their way up the career ladder but for the majority of people I would say that work life is full of ups and downs so I would bear this in mind.
What are your strengths and what is the degree you hope to study? You mention your interest in computing. This is a starting point and you might walk into a job which asks for the qualification you study for. I would suggest however that for many jobs today, you require something on your CV to show you are a 'well rounded' person and that your qualification isn't the only thing on it. It may be difficult for you and you might feel well out of your comfort zone but I would suggest that if you can do a voluntary job, do some activity or take part in some club over the next 3 years then this will be attractive to prospective employers.
Often, there are Careers advice places (definitely in bigger towns and cities) where you can do free of charge 'job searches' where you go through all your strengths, interests and qualifications and you are 'matched' with various jobs that (may) suit you. I accessed these when I was younger - I must admit that often it left me more confused than when I went in but for me I didn't factor in all the sensory problems or other issues I have because I had no real understanding of them but you do! You can also get advice on making up a CV and can have an interview with a careers advisor. I would also imagine you would get a similar service through the OU but I don't know for sure.
Personally, I wouldn't make the mistake of thinking there is a 'perfect' job out there for you. Maybe there is but it might not be for 5, 10 or 15 years. If you look at a lot of people who have done well, they've done a lot of not so glamorous or very low paid jobs in the early years. As I say, I've known people who've done well from the off but it's best not to compare yourself to other people as you can waste a lot of time and energy doing this!
Btw, I've still not found my 'perfect' job.
Lynda
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Smiley
It doesn't sound like the best way to help you become more positive yourself, being in the company of someone who is struggling very badly with her own depression. Are your parents aware of how bad things are with your aunt and that her friends are no longer helping her out? She really needs help and support by the sounds of it but you're not the person to provide that to her right now. Maybe she thought that inviting you over would make her feel happier too but obviously it's not as simple as that, is it?
Get home and get back to your normal routine. Sometimes they say that a change is as good as a rest so you could maybe try to think of it in those terms?
Lynda
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Smiley
You must feel so disappointed that you were looking forward to this time away and it's turned out to be so different to what you thought it was going to be like. I think you are right that it is time to get home to be with your parents. I'm sorry that your aunt is feeling so low and it must be very hard for her right now but you need to concentrate on looking after yourself. You can feel good about yourself that you have been able to give your aunt some practical support as she's obviously struggling taking care of herself.
Take care getting home.
Lynda
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Sorry you've not received any responses yet to your post. It sounds like an incredibly difficult position to be in. Has your son been able to express why he won't even visit the school? Have you got a brochure or is there a website for the school that you could look at with him? You may have done this all already.... Have you got mental health input at the moment if he is refusing to acknowledge the problems he is having? I have to admit that 10/11 is probably a very young age to fully understand the implications of refusing medication etc. He is probably desperately wanting to fit in and the mere mention of him going to a Specialist School will likely be enough to make him very confused and angry I would have thought.
Does he have any friends where he is at school if he has been there for 7 years? Again, if he does, he may be petrified at the thought of leaving these friends behind and the thought of such a massive change would be very frightening. Does he see these friends out of school at after school activities? Is there any way that these activities could continue to maintain continuity when he was at a different school? I am also wondering if any of his friends would understand his difficulties enough to accompany him to visit the school even.
This is a giant step into the unknown for him so I think there needs to be as much familiarity maintained as possible.
Sorry I can't be of more help than this.
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I don't get the percentages either but you just type your personality 'type' into Google as Alex says and it will give a description. You are The Mechanic!
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Hi Vanderlei
Thank you for your very honest and detailed first post. Welcome to the forum.
From what you are describing, it would appear that you have some major sensory difficulties particularly in relation to sounds and visual issues. There may be various techniques that you could try (I don't know what you may have tried already?) in order to lessen the impact of the sensory problems you have, reducing your stress and improving your relationships with those around you. If you are always on your guard against 'erupting' then you are probably always hyper aware of how you are coming across or worrying about how other people are viewing you.
A lot of the time these days I wear earplugs to bed and there are times that I wear them through the day if I feel particularly irritated by small noises. I wear them at times on public transport too. It is a simple way just to lessen the impact of house noises (including hubby snoring which I do find particularly annoying), children shouting, clocks ticking etc. There are even noises in the environment which you can be totally unaware of but you can feel irritated for some reason you can't explain. I used to often joke that I picked up radio signals but in actual fact I do at times 'tune in' to different frequencies that perhaps others can't. Over the course of the day, if you are bombarded constantly by things that you find irritating or upsetting then there can be a cumulative effect. Bear in mind, I am only talking about sounds here. If a person has difficulties in all the other senses too then the same cumulative effect can apply to them too.
It does sound like you have a major problem with anxiety. If you are 'self-medicating' with cannabis, bear in mind that a side effect can be paranoia over time and I believe it can also cause sleep problems. It may even have the effect of heightening your senses still further! A former boyfriend of mine had major problems with anxiety and anger management and became very dependant on this drug, eventually admitting himself into hospital as the paranoia overwhelmed him and he would be shouting at random strangers in the street and was completely unable to control his temper. I think there are much safer alternative strategies to manage these problems. I know that in the last 2 years, just knowing that I have difficulties with hearing crying (which could send me into a rage because I just wanted it to stop) means that I am aware that my breathing can change and I can start to feel the other physical symptoms of stress like sweating which I find upsetting. I can take myself out of the room for breathing space, take deeper breaths to stop the stress from building up to unmanageable levels etc.
Another thing is, if you are drinking a lot of carbonated drink, this is definitely going to disrupt your sleep and if you are drinking it through the night I would suggest that it could be better to switch to water if you need to rehydrate.
It does sound like you have a lot of other issues too related to the spectrum but it might be best to seek some professional advice, especially with regards to your sensory issues and anger management concerns in the shorter term and perhaps requesting an assessment for diagnosis in the longer term. It is fair to say though that there is very little 'help' out there specifically tailored to adults on the spectrum so this is why I'm suggesting it might be best to address the more obvious core concerns you have brought up here which will hopefully make life easier for you.
Best Wishes
Lynda
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Good for you sticking up for yourself even though patients shouldn't have to ask these things! I always remind myself that if you don't ask you don't get (a lot of the time). Hope your infection clears up soon.
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Yes, the trolley idea sounds dangerous for Jack! Are there any parts of the shop in particular where he tends to run away from or is it just anywhere? Is it when you are around the freezers for instance where the cold and the loud humming could make him want to get away? It's just a thought because if there are certain 'trigger' areas you could maybe go to them last when you shop.
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Hi Testing_Manners
Welcome to the forum and I hope you can find some answers to your questions here.
There are a lot of adults on the spectrum on the forum as well as parents who can also give their perspectives.
Lynda
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Maybe it is a way of getting out of the Q & A session? A speech making technique of some kind - only kidding! It is a good way of reaching a wide audience though if you want to get your music 'out there'! Not much into 'warbling' myself
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That's a pity Aeolienne. The talk she gave was really good when I saw her but I wasn't so keen on one of her songs she used during the presentation - I found it a bit 'strange' - but she is good at what she does and does have a lot of good insight imo.
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It's another change
. Might not take long to adapt back if it's as it was before but it has changed again. Did you explain to him that you were going to do it? -
It's not an IQ test Noskcaj86 - it's a personality indicator test
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Thanks Jeanne. Your words are appreciated and thanks for your friendship. Feeling a bit raw and I've likely cut my nose off to spite my face but I felt it was the best thing to do. I'm very good at burning bridges - I've got a nice trail behind me now...!!
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Have you ever tried putting him in the back of the trolley and pretend it's a car or something? Although he's getting a bit too big for it now and I can get 'funny' looks, there are times that I still put my son in the back of the trolley sitting on a jumbo box of nappies as a 'seat'. We go to the baby section first to get it. I have to be quite careful about the groceries I put in the trolley beside his feet (no breakables or squashables!!) but he quite enjoys being 'in charge' of the shopping and I also hand him things to put into the trolley himself When we get to the checkout, he helps putting the groceries on the belt. It keeps him occupied and amused and stops him running off down the aisles or away from the checkout when we get there.
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