Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Lyndalou

  1. I'm really all over the place at the moment. Don't know how I'll feel tomorrow but today I don't feel great. I recognised that I have always had Aspergers around 2 months ago when I started reading up. At the time I was recovering from another emergency section (I think unnecessary) and trying to come to terms with my son's diagnosis of high functioning autism. It has been a huge shock but not a surprise if that makes sense and yet again I have had to start examining my life and everything that has happened to me in my life from a completely new perspective at a time when I've got quite enough stress already in my life, thank you very much! My first reaction has been 'Who can I tell?' Even friends I have known since my 20's, my first thought as soon as I considered telling them was 'Well I won't see them for dust after this'. My fear of rejection is over-arching. The people I have told though have had a mix of reactions from not being surprised but not thinking it is a big deal to thinking I am joking - I can be seen as a confident, gregarious type in the right company. I spoke to a lady early on (I thought she might get where I was coming from) who has an autistic child who worked with my little boy. I ended up wishing I had not approached her because I think she just thought I was selfish, thinking of myself and not my child when there is obviously nothing much wrong with me - I feel quite embarassed. How do you explain that your whole life has involved obsessing about fitting in and that in order to keep the friends I have I try to gauge how long I can leave meeting up or speaking to them before they give up on me? I naively thought that when I became a mum I would have so much in common with other mums and it'd be all coffee and cake and walks in the park. How wrong was I? In a lot of ways I feel more out of step than ever and right now I feel like my emotions are a pressure cooker. Yesterday, for instance, my baby girl was crying shrilly at many points in the day. The crying makes me sweat and sometimes shake. I can't stand feeling sweaty. The weather keeps changing from cold to hot and I never know what to put the kids in and sometimes it stresses me out - I think I had put her in too much when she went down for a nap. So then, it seemed like she would probably want to be fed more but she has started to gulp her feed and it is difficult to burp her. She has had reflux since birth so I am always anticipating sick and how long she should be upright and the resultant laundry - I feel I have laundry coming out of my ears and it drives me mad. Anyway, yesterday all I could hear was this gurgly noise in her tummy which set my teeth on edge. How do I explain how upset I get? I don't. I would just be thought of as an unfeeling mother! I know it is horrible for her but that does not stop the pressure building up and up until I lose the plot. Then at the same time my little boy is putting his lines of letters on the floor or trying to balance things on the edges of tables and getting very upset when they fall over. Or he is refusing to feed himself at dinner time or refusing to let his nappy be changed. I know that me being unable to get to grips with my anxiety will ultimately affect the children and that is the last thing I want. I also do not want to drive my husband (who has been understanding but doesn't really get it) away. The GP didn't believe me when I said about Aspergers and I have since spoken to an independent assessor who told me that they have not got to grips with the referral process for adults in this area. At least he didn't dismiss me and we have set a date to start working towards a 'professional opinion'. I just want validation so I am not just dismissed as an attention seeker. I feel like I have been expected to put up and shut up for ever. I know I am very lucky in a lot of respects but I have found no other mother in my situation to speak to. The local NAS officer is setting me up with another 2 mums with autistic kids locally so we can bounce ideas off each other but I can't help thinking that I will not be able to be totally frank and that it'll probably turn out that they'll become buddies and I'll be out in the cold because they won't agree with me on certain things. Is there anyone out there who gets where I'm coming from?
  2. 50 Shades of Guff (aherm, Grey)

    Am I the only woman in the entire Universe who doesnt want to read this pile of pap???
  3. About to be made homeless

    When (I say when not if because this sounds very positive) you get this situation resolved, is there any way you could receive some kind of compensation for what you have had to go through? If they are admitting your case has been dealt with completely incorrectly and they have caused you a huge amount of stress, affecting your health in general would this not be similar to being in an accident that isn't your fault? I'm normally not an advocate of 'compensation culture' but if what is happening to you is happening to many other people then the Government need to take responsibility for their mistakes.
  4. Sophia saying hi

    Hi Sopia/Naomi and welcome to the forum. Thanks for telling us a little bit about yourself
  5. Update on Glen

    Brilliant news about Glen, Jeanne. So glad things are going so well for him at the moment and the plans for the move go without a hitch. Hope you feel better yourself soon
  6. Hello Everyone

    Hi Titan Welcome to the forum. I'm 40 and self diagnosed. Unfortunately, I haven't as yet got (and may never get) a formal diagnosis. Although everyone with an ASD is different, there are also a lot of things we have in common. It can be very helpful to find out what you can about the condition in order to understand your own difficulties and past experiences better as well as recognising your strengths and skills! I personally found Tony Attwood's 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' a good 'starter' book to read. Lynda
  7. Hi ... New Here and Looking for Advice

    Hi Pamela Welcome to the forum. My little boy is 5 years old and is in P1 at a Special Needs school. He was diagnosed at just under 3 years old as having High Functioning Autism. Up until the diagnosis, he had attended toddler groups and then 2's group. He was due to go into mainstream playgroup at that point. I flagged up my concerns, primarily about my son's speech, to the HV when my son was just under 2 years old. I actually had no concerns at all apart from this back then. Yes, my son refused to wear reins and lay and screamed on the ground if he was pressed to do so but I put this down to him being independent and stubborn, yes, he didn't point or make eye contact too much when he wanted something and instead he led me to it but he smiled and giggled so what was the problem? He could do simple wooden puzzles easily and recognised and could recite all his numbers up to 10 and back and knew the alphabet by around 20 months old. I thought that he was simply clever and his speech was slow. Within 5 minutes of observing him at just over 2 years old, the Paediatrician said she had concerns he was autistic and would be prepared to assess him. I was shocked because the thought had never even come close to crossing my mind and I was angry too. The Paediatritian was excellent in retrospect. She didn't push me to go down the road of assessment and agreed on a compromise of my son attending speech therapy. It was over the course of that year that I began to see more and more of the 'unusual' behaviours that can be attributed to an autistic spectrum disorder. At toddlers he walked round the walls, keeping a distance between himself and other kids and at one toddler group he would scream as we went in the door and we had to leave, at music class he couldn't sit in circles or follow direction; he often wandered off and did his own thing and when he began 2's group he would gravitate to a table and do the same puzzle repeatedly (and very well!) and before we went in he had to touch all the badges on the cars in the car park. When on any play apparatus (from toddlers on) he would get off if another child got on or sit blocking their way with a 'frozen' look on his face. I am mentioning all these things because you may have seen something similar with your son. Early diagnosis (from my point of view) can be very very helpful in opening doors to services and support for your child and it can be crucial to understand the reasons behind the behaviours your child is expressing. For instance, I now understand that my son's problem with reins was a sensory problem and is closely related to other clothing and issues with 'restraint' etc. The problem on play apparatus was due to his confusion around other children and knowing 'rules of play' in order to play and interact in the 'typical' way. It also demonstates the anxiety which can form a large part of having an ASD. Screaming going into toddlers was due to a combination of a fear of another child who had screamed in his face and startled him which showed his difficulties with unpredictability and possibly too that he equated being screamed at to going to toddlers. I also recognised that he was much more comfortable in larger rooms with higher ceilings and better natural light. The very little I understood of my son's problems back then helped me make the decision for him to do a split placement for 2 mornings attendance at playgroup, remaining in the group and the staff he had been with for a number of months pre-diagnosis when he turned 3 years old. The diagnosis also meant that a referral was made via the Paediatritian and Educational Psychologist for him to attend a special needs nursery for 3 mornings per week. It sounds like you have the best start for your son right now in that there are professionals taking your concerns seriously. Diagnosis may not be suitable for him and in fact, although the speech therapist can form an opinion, there needs to be a thorough assessment of all his needs by a multidisciplinary team to determine whether or not the diagnosis is correct. From what you say, the ball is rolling for that type of assessment to take place. What you have to remember is that although they will be looking for signs that development in certain areas is delayed or 'different' to 'typical' development, they will also take into account skills your son might have which are actually ahead of his peer group too. The key is that it is outwith the 'normal' range, much like my son was (and is) with certain of his abilities. This is called a 'spikey profile' because he could be very good at certain things - my son draws 3 dimensional drawing of houses at the moment - but very behind in other things - my son is not fully toilet trained yet. Best Wishes Lynda
  8. Hi Jacks0n5 Welcome to the forum. The honest answer is that all you can do is be there for her; let her speak when she wants to speak and let her cry when she wants to cry. Depression can be a destructive force and it can drive people away so just you being there for her in one way or another will be helpful for her. Feelings of emptiness, anger, despair, worthlessness and all the other negative things you can think of form part of the 'Depression' package and as well as being very difficult and isolating for the person experiencing it, other people round about the person can be affected. If you find it difficult to keep in touch with people but want to maintain this relationship, you need to understand that it might not be easy. Having you around might make her feel better but depression is not just being low and something you can shake off so she might not want to talk at times or could even point the finger at you if things aren't going well. You might have to take a few things on the chin and not retaliate if she is accusatory or 'off' at times. This doesn't mean you should be a walkover but you might have to think through your responses because as in AS, when someone is depressed they can take criticism or 'questioning' to heart and might not readily see that someone is trying to help them. Compounding this, there is often a sense of 'failure' in depression (just one of the negatives) too. Maybe you could set times meantime to Skype, talk online or on the phone. That way, it's a bit like an appointment and means you won't be stressing that you might have gone 'too long' before speaking and set times to speak for a short period could be good for your girlfriend because it's very easy to let things slide with depression. Best Wishes Lynda
  9. My clever little girl disappeared up the stairs a few mins ago and came back down with her Upsy Daisy to watch Night Garden :-)

  10. SERTRALINE,100mg

    Glad things went well today Smiley by the sound of it!
  11. aripiprazole - Abilify

    All the best at your appointment today, Smiley. Hope you manage to say everything you want to say to the Psychiatrist and that there are no more last minute changes for you to deal with.
  12. aripiprazole - Abilify

    Just try to put this over the best you can tomorrow. Moods can be affected by all sorts of things; a woman's monthly cycle, the foods we eat etc as well as chemical imbalances in the brain. Sometimes medication can help as it 'evens' moods out and sometimes it can badly affect a person, making their moods worse. Some small changes to lifestyle can have a huge benefit on how you feel but I know how easy it is to fall into a rut and sometimes it can be easier said than done to change established habits, especially if they give comfort. It's good you will have support tomorrow at the meeting. Hopefully the trainee SW will be able to fill in any gaps in the information you want the Psychiatrist to know.
  13. So pleased to hear it went well....fingers crossed for you that you don't have to wait too long
  14. aripiprazole - Abilify

    Smiley You have the right to question the side-effects of any medication you are potentially going to be prescribed, especially if they have previously caused side effects that have caused you distress thus counteracting any good they may have done. Obviously, you have a clear concern about weight gain and other difficult side-effects to cope with so you do need to raise these concerns (like you say) with the Psychiatrist to choose the best medication option for you. However, I would try not to obsess over this particular medication as you aren't actually on it but instead try to focus on speaking as openly and honestly at your appointment tomorrow about how you are feeling. Lynda
  15. About to be made homeless

    In all honesty, I would think this would get Stuffed into all sorts of bother. I don't think he has inferred that the landlord has been in any way to blame for the current situation and in fact has been quite understanding? Stuffed, I really hope everyone is continuing to support you to try to resolve this somehow. Really don't know what to suggest but it's completely understandable that you are feeling the way you are. Can you stay with anyone meantime? I know this is not technically classed as 'homeless' and doesn't help pay the rent you are still due but it could give you a chance to regroup with a roof over your head.
  16. ASD children and Story-Telling (New Survey)

    That sounds like fun - reading Broad Scots novels - and the best way to read them is aloud! I find it very hard to read Scots without reading out loud and I find it quite strange that I grew up with it all around me yet I don't recognise so many of the words in the Scots Dictionary. I recommend 'But n Ben a Go Go' (adult futuristic novel) by Matthew Fitt (but not to kids! I don't know if it's in the curriculum around here although when I was little we did quite a lot of Robert Burns... It would be nice to hear about your visit to the Storytelling Centre if you go
  17. Hello back again!!

    Hello Pola Bear. Welcome back
  18. Honestly, I'm not here all the time. My computer isn't allowing me to sign out!! ;-)

  19. Best Wishes Amy. Hope it goes well at the GP's. Concentrate on telling the GP the problems you have and have always had, the things that cause you problems on a daily, weekly or regular basis. Don't overemphasise the 'female' profile because many GP's have a basic understanding of AS and this will be based on the established diagnostic criteria and not a 'work in progress' that Tania Marshall and other professionals interested in the female presentation of AS are in the process of producing. I also wouldn't overemphasise any of the 'positives' as you see them because the route to diagnosis is firmly planted in the 'Deficit Model'; ie. the things that are the 'disorder' or the things that cause problems socially etc
  20. I've had a bit of a weird day today. For many months my mental health has been poor and I have started exploring the possibility I have C-PTSD. As I've come to a crossroads, I decided to start seeing a counsellor and I had my first meeting with her this morning. So, I told her a lot about the various difficulties I have and have had and detailed a lot of the emotional and psychological abuse inflicted by people I trusted (way back in the day) within a church environment. A few days ago, I stumbled on information which described what I have experienced and it has a term - Church Abuse - who would have known? Anyway, the jist being that I thought I had come to terms with everything and it's likely I have not! And...my counsellor said to me that she could really understand what I was talking about because her background was similar...how often does that happen? Then, I had arranged to see my friend I have known for 4 years. We've spoken a lot about various things but with my trust issues, this topic has never been discussed before. She contacted me because I hadn't seen her for a while as I'm not going out of my way to see anyone really right now and told me she was there to talk. So, I told her where I'm at at the moment and when I'd finished I said that I had no idea what she would be thinking. She said, I've got something to tell you and went on to tell me her own church abuse story. How often does that happen?
  21. ASD children and Story-Telling (New Survey)

    I do at some point intend to go to the Scottish Storytelling Centre in Edinburgh which I think would be a great experience. However, it's far away for a day trip and don't really know how they cater for children with ASD, for instance if they have sessions which would be suitable for children who found it difficult to sit still for a period of time or had problems being close to other kids. I'll have to look into it. It would be helpful if in this country we embraced our local brogue or dialect and that it was promoted in schools. I think it's very hard for kids to become interested in local culture and traditions, including local stories if their own way of speaking is seen as 'lesser' than what is the accepted 'norm'. As an aside, my kids really enjoy watching 'Old Jack's Boat' on CBeebies which is Bernard Cribbins as Old Jack who tells tall tales of adventures out at sea.
  22. help son has lost all his benefits..

    I would echo what Sally has said but obviously if your son is very highly anxious he would need to be supported in speaking to a Social Worker. I would definitely think he is an emergency case. Have you considered contacting an independent advocacy service to see if he could get someone to help him speak to anyone he has to come in contact with during this time? I used to work as an advocacy worker and in Scotland (I don't know about the rest of the UK) a person is entitled to have access to an advocacy worker if they have mental health issues or are learning disabled who are independent of the organisations or services the person needs help in speaking to. Although the main focus of our work was in helping people speak to health professionals or social services, inevitably there was a huge crossover into housing and benefits etc. We could not help sort out benefits ourselves - this is not the role of an advocacy worker - but we could push for answers and information and help the client complain. People are considered on an individual basis and can be worked with both short or long term, depending on how long it takes to gain an outcome.
  23. Think I'm failing my teacher training

    You've let no-one down at all. You've just done what you think is best for you and that is actually taking control of the situation and is not failure. <'>
  24. Although your post is a sad one, you also sound more positive and like you have turned a corner. So very sorry to hear about your mother-in-law and maybe your decision to discontinue your teacher training when you did means that you are right there and in a stronger frame of mind to support your husband and father-in-law. Best Wishes <'>