I was looking up Autistic Spectrum Disorders out of interest (2 people I know have ASD's) and when I got to reading about Aspergers, it was like someone was describing me and my life. I have always felt that I was different to other people, but I could not put my finger on what it was. As soon as I started reading about Aspergers, it was like someone had turned a light on.
I'm just going to write the reasons as a list:
Anyone I have ever interacted with has told me that I am either “too quiet”, “distant” or “weird”. This is because I do not speak to anyone that I do not know, and even the three or four people that I do know closely have trouble getting me to talk sometimes. I just close off sometimes for hours at a time and don't speak?
I find it incredibly difficult to read what other people are feeling, and even if they come out and say for example “I am sad”, I can't empathise. Other people's feelings don't really make me feel anything.
I find it uncomfortable to look people in the eye, and absolutely everyone (even total strangers such as bus drivers) tell me to either 'Cheer Up' or they ask 'What's wrong?' when I know that they are just seeing my general expression.
When people are talking to me, its hard for me to keep interest – I keep either daydreaming (in school/group activities) or I start looking around or playing with things and it leads most people to think that I am being rude. Because of this, all my school reports said "Needs to pay more attention/could try harder".
The point of small talk eludes me, and I cannot carry a conversation past the basic “hihowareyou” with someone that I do not know, and sometimes I can't even get words out. That being said, I have gotten into trouble several times for saying things that are apparently insensitive to the people that I do know, and I can't see how they're insensitive?
I have certain behaviours and gestures that I repeat constantly, and if I dont do them then I feel very uncomfortable until I give in and do them.
Whenever I have attended parties or even family gatherings, I am usually stood in the corner for hours because I cannot go and speak to people that I do not know.
Apparently a monotone voice is common? I have been told that mine is either monotone or lacks expression/emotion by many different people.
I can't find the words to describe my emotions to other people, but I can tell them many seemingly random facts and bits of info about seemingly random things.
And I see little details and patterns in things that other people either don't see or don't look for. I count a lot when I walk, and I get one line of a song stuck in my head for long periods of time until I have to listen to the song on repeat until it gets out. I also take sentences and first count how many letters are in the sentence both with and without spaces, and then break the sentence up into chunks of letters: “can you just do this for me?” has 21 letters, 27 including spaces, so it then becomes either “canyouj ustdoth isforme” or “can you jus tdo thi sfo rme”. I will stop whatever I am doing in order to finish counting and grouping letters.
I don't really know where to go and get a diagnosis? I am just after other people's opinions on here really.