littleplum
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Posts posted by littleplum
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I have been trying to learn the piano as an adult pupil. However I cannot get to grips with the need to read two staves of music, bass and treble, at the same time. To me it's like trying to read two lines of text simultaneously and I just freeze.
Has anyone managed to crack this and what's the secret?
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I read a book once which claimed to diagnose famous people as having had AS. One of the subjects was Keith Joseph, one of Margaret Thatcher's closest advisers.
Apparently, whenever he went for a haircut, he would tip the barber in advance so that he would not make conversation while he cut his hair.
I can identify with that. I hate small talk.
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I know Autistic people tend to have problems with sleep but it getting really bad now I just can't shut of at night. Because of this the next day I'm feeling a little bit tired & moody the following day.
I tried Valerian for the same problem but it did not work for me. However, as accidentalme's post demonstrates, it is effective for some.
What I found better was learning to control my thoughts while I lay in bed with my mind racing. There are various techniques you can try but they all involve some level of distancing yourself from whatever thought is occupying your mind at a given time. So, if something is worrying you, you can address the thought and tell it to go away until tomorrow. This may sound daft but it works.
It may help to picture each thought or worry as an annoying child whom you have authority over, perhaps as a teacher or parent. Then it is easier to tell it to stop bothering you.
The great thing about this is that it puts you in control of your own mind, instead of the other way round.
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5. Another fictional thing based on fact - the story aint that great (although it has to be at least ok or I wouldn't have read 5 out of the 6 books) I have an interest in the origins of humanity - the ideas in the books are feasible and is based on a fair amount of research - its easier than reading several tons of history/geography books and the speculation in them is probably as good a guess as anyone's).
Agree with you totally about this series. Which made it all the more frustrating when, after waiting years for it to arrive, the latest instalment turned out to be total pants. The first one is still the best. I love those Neanderthals.
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Here's a fairly random top 5, in no particular order:
- Manuel L. Smith, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy
- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
- Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
- Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlet
- Iain McGilchrist, The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World
I suppose the common thread that connects them all is that, in one way or another, they made me think about what it is to be human and why we are the way we are and, maybe, how we can change.
- Manuel L. Smith, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy
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Does anyone else come up with ideas of how to make things better - or life goals or whatever - only to forget about the ideas, plans or solutions when it comes to the daily living of life?
Hi Darkshine,
I tend to keep long term goals in the back of my mind and eventually an opportunity to do them arises. I am a great believer in timing, so don't beat yourself up for not following through with those larger objectives straightaway. If you want something badly enough, somehow you will make it happen.
Of course, as you say, the little things of daily life can get in the way. What I find useful is to have a list of things I need to do each day. This list is on my computer so if I don't achieve a particular task I just postpone it until the next day.
You can get a real sense of achievement by doing even small tasks, like sorting out your sock drawer or oiling a squeaky hinge. That sense of achievement can then motivate you to do something about those bigger ideas.
The first and most important task of the day is to get out of bed. Once that's done (and I don't underestimate how hard that can be sometimes), the day is made up of a series of small steps, one foot in front of the other. (Sorry if that sounds silly, I am writing metaphorically, or trying to.
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A longing for friends seems to be a normal part of the human condition. But it is possible to grow out of it and to learn to enjoy solitude. I say this not to depress anyone but to acknowledge how difficult it is for AS people to make those strong, lasting connections with people outside one's family.
Not having friends means you are spared the stress of worrying whether you keeping in touch with them often enough, or of turning down an invitation to go out for an evening when you'd rather stay at home, or of missing some unspoken sign that there is something wrong with them and then feeling guilty when they tell someone else about it. I know I would be rubbish at it so I don't think anyone is at a loss for not having me as a friend.
Learning to become emotionally self sufficient is one of the positive outcomes of being AS, at least as far as I am concerned. Don't know if everyone would agree?
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I am married to a NT wife and we are as different from each other as it is possible for two people to be. As the years have passed I have grown to appreciate her extraordinary interpersonal skills. In the beginning I had no idea how important it was to be able to communicate with other people properly. Had I remained single I probably never would have learnt that lesson. I say learnt, but that does not mean I know how to do it. But she does, and as a result I am not completely isolated from the outside world.
I haven't a clue how her mind works, and she would probably say the same about me. Yet we get along very well. She knows I am not a romantic, so no flowers or chocolates on Valentine's Day. However, I do empty out the dishwasher and vacuum the carpets, so that probably counts for more (I think).
Marriage is interesting.
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Welcome Bryce.
When I was 21 I hated being Asperger's too. Well, I would have done if anyone knew the meaning of the term at that time. But I hated having the symptoms and just thought I was odd. So I am all for a cure, but failing that I am delighted that young people today can at least get a proper diagnosis and hopefully a more understanding community response. In your case, though, it sounds like that kind of response has not happened?
In any event, your positivity is to be welcomed. Keep it up.
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A funny thing: I feel compelled to return to a shop if they give me even a tiny bit too much change. I could be out in the street when I notice. Yet I will return and try to attract the cashier's attention and then explain what has happened. The look of disbelief on their faces is priceless. Some even get annoyed!
I don't know if that is honesty or some quirk in my mind that likes order and balance.
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I wonder if the problem is to do with multi-tasking.
One of my first jobs involved handling cash and interacting with customers. I could do one or the other, but not both together. It was a disaster and the cash never balanced.
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I must say I dread the prospect of meeting someone new who could potentially become a friend. It happens fairly often but not once has a lasting friendship resulted.
So I go through the early stages of acquaintanceship knowing that it will go nowhere, and almost wishing that will become clear to the other person sooner rather than later.
The problem is that I end up saying or doing the 'wrong thing'. It could be something innocuous - I may not even be conscious of it - but it seems to send a signal that I am not quite normal.
So I tend to be a little 'cool' when I meet someone new, especially if I really like them, which I know seems perverse.
Oh the joys of AS!
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Hello and welcome to the forum.
You write very eloquently of your experiences in a way that must resonate with many people here. I wish you well in your quest for greater understanding and 'success' in your life, if that is the right word.
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I remember as a young child having great difficulty understanding why 'once' is pronounced as if it begins with 'w'. Then what about rough, bough, and cough? They should sound the same but they don't.
At least the Americans tried to simplify some words like colour by removing the 'u'. But then they overcomplicated others, like burgle, by changing it to burglarise.
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This is the great French easy-listening king Franck Pourcel's brilliant interpretation of the hit-that-never-was, The Days of Pearly Spencer.
More great easy listening from France. Raymond Lefevre's classic Soul Coaxing.
And the third and final classic from dead French easy-listening giants: Paul Mauriat's Love is Blue.
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Hi Tally,
It seems that your primary concern is for your boss and how he might be treated and/or perceived when the relationship with the 18-year-old girl ends, as you believe it will.
Obviously you know a lot about him but I wonder if you know him well enough to have a word with him about the relationship. Nothing formal or heavy, just something casual like, 'How is Ms. X?' If he wants to talk about her with you, then that is an opening.
However, if you don't have that kind of rapport with him there is little you can do. He is your boss after all, and it might make things difficult for you in work if he believes you are interfering in his private life.
Very awkward situation...
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Merry Christmas everyone...
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This story relates to the USA but I still hope it is isolated, even there.
http://www.msnbc.msn...e/#.TvUPpkrSD45
It seems the school in Kentucky operates a punishment regime involving the placing of a child in a duffel bag and then closing it. This case involves a nine-year-old autistic boy with ADHD. The school has actually defended the punishment.
The mind truly boggles!
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It normally is as bad as I imagine and if he's in the house he's either in your face or breaking your computer (or shower or kettle). There is no inbetween. I have told my mum he is not staying in my house after I nearly killed him the last 3 times in a row, but he's staying at my parents' house and I'll have to spend a lot of time there over Christmas. And if he's not staying in my house driving me up the wall, he'll be driving my mum and dad up the wall.
He just doesn't get subtle hints like, "I'd really like some time to myself today, so I'm going out but here's a door key and I'll see you later." He'll end up asking to come with you and you have to say no multiple times until you end up losing your temper, and then he gets really upset and wants a conversation about why people are always so mean to him.
I can identify to some extent with your uncle Tally. Unfortunately, being subtle does not work, nor as you have discovered, does losing your temper.
If I were him, I would like you to explain to me in clear and unambiguous terms, leavened with a little kindness, that you need to be by yourself sometimes. And maybe he needs to be reassured that you are OK too. Perhaps he is worried about you, albeit to an excessive extent?
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Yes, I find it uncomfortable being stared at. This sometimes happens in social situations where there are lots of people. Quite often I have caught someone's eye to find they are staring intently at me. My immediate reaction is to imagine I have said something outrageous, or there is something unspeakable stuck to my face.
When I am in a one-to-one conversation I tend to stare into the other person's eyes as I listen to them. Like you, I was taught to make eye contact but I sometimes think I overdo it.
It's a tricky one. Avert your eyes and you look shifty. Stare at someone and they may think you're a bit mad. Maybe wearing sunglasses is the answer!
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I do have OCD
A relative of mine has OCD so I have some idea how distressing it can be. I have it in a mild form. Quite often when I am walking away from my car I am filled with an overwhelming fear that I have failed to lock it. The temptation to go back and check is sometimes too hard to resist but every time I do, the car is locked.
I know this is a trivial example of what you probably experience, but I think OCD can develop from such minor things. So I do try not to recheck the car in the hope that it will prevent a more serious problem developing later.
Best wishes.
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Hi Everyone
Does any one else have constant thoughts like,
I can't do this any more,
constant thoughts that some thing bad is going to happen but you don't now what.
Feeling really pressured like what ever you do its never ever going to be good enough.
feeling watched and judged all the time
ect ect.
All day long, i just want the noise to stop.
Daniel
I think that's quite common Daniel. These nameless fears can ultimately prevent you doing anything if you let them. But they are all in your mind. They are not the voices of external, real people whom you can see and touch.
And because it's your mind, you don't have to acknowledge these thoughts or allow them to affect your life. They may not go away but you can ignore them and do whatever it is you have to or want to.
I know that may sound simplistic, but it's actually hard. Nevertheless it is possible to prevent such thoughts dictating how you live your life.
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Just back from seeing Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. It is brilliant on so many different levels and is now among my top films ever.
The only drawback is you can't take your eyes off the screen for a second or you'll miss some vital clue. By the same token, make sure you visit the loo just before you go in.
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TOTALLY agree with that one, lil plum, though I'm sure you and I have very different views about what constitutes a 'negative tone'.
So it would seem...
Problem reading music while playing the piano
in General Discussion
Posted · Report reply
Thanks for those comments Aeolienne and Darkshine.
I have tried the various techniques you suggest Darkshine and, while I can play each part separately very well, it falls apart when I combine them. In fact, I find that the more I practise a piece, the less able I am to play it. I have read accounts by dyslexics of the frustrations of their schooldays and my own experience of musical notation seems quite similar.
I have never been able to do more than one thing at the same time - I can't speak during a meal for instance. So playing the piano, which really involves doing three things simultaneously (left hand, right hand, and reading) is beyond me.
Perhaps this is linked to AS, which is why I was interested in hearing from anyone on the spectrum who has managed to become reasonably proficient on the piano. I think age is a factor too though, and it is certainly better to learn at a young age before the brain has become hard-wired.