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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

littleplum

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  1. Problem reading music while playing the piano

    Thanks for those comments Aeolienne and Darkshine. I have tried the various techniques you suggest Darkshine and, while I can play each part separately very well, it falls apart when I combine them. In fact, I find that the more I practise a piece, the less able I am to play it. I have read accounts by dyslexics of the frustrations of their schooldays and my own experience of musical notation seems quite similar. I have never been able to do more than one thing at the same time - I can't speak during a meal for instance. So playing the piano, which really involves doing three things simultaneously (left hand, right hand, and reading) is beyond me. Perhaps this is linked to AS, which is why I was interested in hearing from anyone on the spectrum who has managed to become reasonably proficient on the piano. I think age is a factor too though, and it is certainly better to learn at a young age before the brain has become hard-wired.
  2. I have been trying to learn the piano as an adult pupil. However I cannot get to grips with the need to read two staves of music, bass and treble, at the same time. To me it's like trying to read two lines of text simultaneously and I just freeze. Has anyone managed to crack this and what's the secret?
  3. Famous people with Aspergers

    I read a book once which claimed to diagnose famous people as having had AS. One of the subjects was Keith Joseph, one of Margaret Thatcher's closest advisers. Apparently, whenever he went for a haircut, he would tip the barber in advance so that he would not make conversation while he cut his hair. I can identify with that. I hate small talk.
  4. Just need some sleep ... 😔

    I tried Valerian for the same problem but it did not work for me. However, as accidentalme's post demonstrates, it is effective for some. What I found better was learning to control my thoughts while I lay in bed with my mind racing. There are various techniques you can try but they all involve some level of distancing yourself from whatever thought is occupying your mind at a given time. So, if something is worrying you, you can address the thought and tell it to go away until tomorrow. This may sound daft but it works. It may help to picture each thought or worry as an annoying child whom you have authority over, perhaps as a teacher or parent. Then it is easier to tell it to stop bothering you. The great thing about this is that it puts you in control of your own mind, instead of the other way round.
  5. Your top 5 books

    Agree with you totally about this series. Which made it all the more frustrating when, after waiting years for it to arrive, the latest instalment turned out to be total pants. The first one is still the best. I love those Neanderthals.
  6. Your top 5 books

    Here's a fairly random top 5, in no particular order: Manuel L. Smith, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlet Iain McGilchrist, The Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World I suppose the common thread that connects them all is that, in one way or another, they made me think about what it is to be human and why we are the way we are and, maybe, how we can change.
  7. Forgetting

    Hi Darkshine, I tend to keep long term goals in the back of my mind and eventually an opportunity to do them arises. I am a great believer in timing, so don't beat yourself up for not following through with those larger objectives straightaway. If you want something badly enough, somehow you will make it happen. Of course, as you say, the little things of daily life can get in the way. What I find useful is to have a list of things I need to do each day. This list is on my computer so if I don't achieve a particular task I just postpone it until the next day. You can get a real sense of achievement by doing even small tasks, like sorting out your sock drawer or oiling a squeaky hinge. That sense of achievement can then motivate you to do something about those bigger ideas. The first and most important task of the day is to get out of bed. Once that's done (and I don't underestimate how hard that can be sometimes), the day is made up of a series of small steps, one foot in front of the other. (Sorry if that sounds silly, I am writing metaphorically, or trying to. )
  8. How does an Adult with Aspergers make friends?

    A longing for friends seems to be a normal part of the human condition. But it is possible to grow out of it and to learn to enjoy solitude. I say this not to depress anyone but to acknowledge how difficult it is for AS people to make those strong, lasting connections with people outside one's family. Not having friends means you are spared the stress of worrying whether you keeping in touch with them often enough, or of turning down an invitation to go out for an evening when you'd rather stay at home, or of missing some unspoken sign that there is something wrong with them and then feeling guilty when they tell someone else about it. I know I would be rubbish at it so I don't think anyone is at a loss for not having me as a friend. Learning to become emotionally self sufficient is one of the positive outcomes of being AS, at least as far as I am concerned. Don't know if everyone would agree?
  9. Marriage so confusing.

    I am married to a NT wife and we are as different from each other as it is possible for two people to be. As the years have passed I have grown to appreciate her extraordinary interpersonal skills. In the beginning I had no idea how important it was to be able to communicate with other people properly. Had I remained single I probably never would have learnt that lesson. I say learnt, but that does not mean I know how to do it. But she does, and as a result I am not completely isolated from the outside world. I haven't a clue how her mind works, and she would probably say the same about me. Yet we get along very well. She knows I am not a romantic, so no flowers or chocolates on Valentine's Day. However, I do empty out the dishwasher and vacuum the carpets, so that probably counts for more (I think). Marriage is interesting.
  10. Hello

    Welcome Bryce. When I was 21 I hated being Asperger's too. Well, I would have done if anyone knew the meaning of the term at that time. But I hated having the symptoms and just thought I was odd. So I am all for a cure, but failing that I am delighted that young people today can at least get a proper diagnosis and hopefully a more understanding community response. In your case, though, it sounds like that kind of response has not happened? In any event, your positivity is to be welcomed. Keep it up.
  11. Lying, Secrets, Conscience & Empathy

    A funny thing: I feel compelled to return to a shop if they give me even a tiny bit too much change. I could be out in the street when I notice. Yet I will return and try to attract the cashier's attention and then explain what has happened. The look of disbelief on their faces is priceless. Some even get annoyed! I don't know if that is honesty or some quirk in my mind that likes order and balance.
  12. unfair marked performance at work

    I wonder if the problem is to do with multi-tasking. One of my first jobs involved handling cash and interacting with customers. I could do one or the other, but not both together. It was a disaster and the cash never balanced.
  13. How does an Adult with Aspergers make friends?

    I must say I dread the prospect of meeting someone new who could potentially become a friend. It happens fairly often but not once has a lasting friendship resulted. So I go through the early stages of acquaintanceship knowing that it will go nowhere, and almost wishing that will become clear to the other person sooner rather than later. The problem is that I end up saying or doing the 'wrong thing'. It could be something innocuous - I may not even be conscious of it - but it seems to send a signal that I am not quite normal. So I tend to be a little 'cool' when I meet someone new, especially if I really like them, which I know seems perverse. Oh the joys of AS!
  14. Another Asperger case enters...

    Hello and welcome to the forum. You write very eloquently of your experiences in a way that must resonate with many people here. I wish you well in your quest for greater understanding and 'success' in your life, if that is the right word.
  15. Origins

    I remember as a young child having great difficulty understanding why 'once' is pronounced as if it begins with 'w'. Then what about rough, bough, and cough? They should sound the same but they don't. At least the Americans tried to simplify some words like colour by removing the 'u'. But then they overcomplicated others, like burgle, by changing it to burglarise.
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