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People with AS have unique strengths. If you see things differently from others, that difference in perspective can also be useful by providing an unconventional approach to problem solving. There is nothing wrong with being different even if you have to try harder to gain social acceptance (and don't always succeed).

Thanks, Justine, for your candid comments. I wonder if there are two issues here relating to the reasons for telling people about AS and one about diagnosis. The first is in a social, non-work context. Are people more likely to, in your apt phrase, see beyond the symptoms if they know that the behaviour is part of a set of recognisable symptoms that occur together with sufficient frequency as to be a recognised syndrome? The reason for sometimes insensitive behaviour is not a lack of care or concern but rather a (possibly inherited) problem. The second of these issues is in the context of work. It does seem to me that there is evidence that persons with some forms and degrees of ASD are well placed to make a unique contribution in the right sort of work. ASD undoubtedly causes problems for those who have it. My point was that it may also confer benefits and, if it does, (i) these should be exploited in a way which enables the individual to feel that the AS or other ASD is not wholly problematic and (ii) to publicise the positive aspects of the disorder or syndrome to employers. It seems to me that each of these would have advantages. I agree that 'we do not live in a "disability friendly" world'. I also note that it is sometimes hard to diagnose AS in adults because we do 'adapt, adjust and overcome certain barriers.' My question concerns whether we can help employers and others to adapt for their benefit and the benefit of (at least some) people with AS. On the question of diagnosis: A syndrome such as Asberger's is a set of recognised symtoms that frequently occur together. There is no generally recognised reason for the syndrome. This is unlike cancer where, even if we don't know why cancers start, there is a clear physiological cause of observed symptoms and, in an increasing number of cases, effective means of treating them. So on the basis of an earlier discussion we had, my view is that a diagnosis is indicated in cases where the diagnosis itself opens doors to support or some effective treatment. Otherwise, matching symptoms to syndrome is really all anyone can do -- whether a professional or not.

Sorry not to have come back on this earlier. I have been away for a few days. First, it seems sensible to me to tell only those who have some reason to know. I am wondering particularly about people with whom I have been friendly who become more distant or even hostile. (I would probably tell the former but not the latter.) As for work situations and going a little off-topic: speaking for myself (but I suspect this is true much more widely), I believe that there are benefits from AS. I do not feel any social pressure to conform in what I think or how I approach my work. It is not surprising to me that there is a strong suspicion that scientists such as Einstein and Newton were ASD. An ASD specialist in Cambridge reckoned publicly that half the scientists he knows in the university are ASD. Obviously, these are all high functioning (is that HF?). But it would be surprising to me if the benefits of being able to think with fewer social constraints were not to have benefits outside of academics. I know, because I once tried, that I could never be successful in a career that involved never offending people. But we might also be good, for example, at considering plans and strategies for future action -- generally, in coming up with ideas and suggestions that are "outside the box". Bringing this back to the topic, I am wondering if there is scope for making organisations value people with AS by telling them about the condition after we have made some successful (or, at least, interesting) suggestions. Might this benefit the individual? people with AS more generally? Might it help employers and colleagues to exploit the benefits of AS? Would the benefits make them and others more tolerant of the limitations of our social skills? I have no answer myself. If anyone has tried anything like this, it would be good to know. As my career is winding down now -- or at least I should be winding it down -- I am minded to begin exploring the consequences of telling selected colleagues. I don't now have much to lose. I will report the outcomes as and when I know them. Who knows? It might even be possible that some day, for some jobs, a cv (resume) will be deemed to be stronger for noting that the job applicant has AS.

In two posts in separate threads, very different experiences seem to have been reported concerning reactions to letting people know you have Aspergers. One was negative (http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/Index.php?/topic/27404-advantages-of-diagnosis/page__view__findpost__p__315517) and one was (I think) positive. The negative reaction related to people known in a social context - a friend and a neighbour - and the other in a work context. My caughter knows I have AS because her son has it. It helped her, I think, to understand some difficulties in our relationship going back to her childhood. I told a former student I now work with who seemed to dismissed it as an eccentricity and it has made no difference. I am treading carefully here and I would welcome a wider range of reports about the experiences of people with AS in telling family, social friends and acquaintances and work colleagues.

I find there is a pattern to many social and work-based relationships. They start with warmth and may even develop some apparently genuine friendship. But after a while, the other party cools because, I sometimes see in restrospect, I have made some comments or observations that they find unsettling or maybe offensive. I guess there are cracks in my 'acting normal'. I am thinking at present that the problem arises because I understand the issues intellectually and from experience but not intuitively. With my lack of intuition, I really don't know whether in any one case whether a discussion of AS would help to preserve or develop a friendship. May I ask how your ex-colleague and ex-neighbour engaged with you in the longer run after their expressions of disbelief?

I hope you will keep us informed of the effects of people learning about your AS. There are some people I am going to share it with because I feel I have offended them for reasons I understand retrospectively but failed to anticipate with sufficient clarity to keep my mouth shut. If others are interested, I will report my experiences to the forum.

Well that does raise an issue that is important for me and maybe for others. I, too, thought that in personal relationships I was just not very likeable. That goes back to childhood. It would certainly be interesting for me to know whether other people have found more tolerance -- seemed better liked -- if others knew of their AS. Maybe this should be a new thread -- about likeability and the effects of letting others know of our AS?

Many thanks to all three of you for your helpful and informative replies. I understand that Aspergers wasn't widely recognised until the mid-1990s which would explain why we have three reports (including Bid's father) of adult recognition of the condition. Interesting that all four of us came to understand our condition (is that an acceptable word for AS?) through experience with our children or grandchildren. Personally, I don't feel the need for a formal, professional diagnosis unless that were the gateway to some sort of treatment or help that would be useful at my age to me or my family. I do wish I had had some recognition and advice as a child because that would have saved me from some bad choices and perhaps helped me to keep some friends whose loss of friendship I regret. For now, Justine's advice that "If you feel changes should be made you have to make those changes and it should not take a diagnosis to do that" seems to me to go to the heart of the matter. For now, recognition that I have AS is sufficient. My obsessions lie elsewhere -- mainly at present in my work. Am I right in thinking that finding balance is a struggle for pretty much everyone with AS? Once again, thanks to you all. If it will be useful to anyone for me to share my experiences with and as a result of AS, I hope to be able to do so.

Some background: I have just joined this forum because Aspergers makes sense of much of my life experience. I am 67, I have had a reasonably successful career in academic research largely because I don't feel social pressure to think conventionally, but I don't make friends easily and I keep them less easily, I now work from home and don't really mind the absence of direct social contact. At school I was always thought to be socially immature. Though I have been in a mostly stable relationship with the same partner for some 40 years, before that I would need to break off relationships after about three weeks. I can think of many events in my life where my reactions were clearly socially inappropriate. Though I could often understand that after the event, I was unable to anticipate the effects of what I have said and written to people. I have been exceptionally fortunate in that I went to a very tolerant school and had an academic career in which, after a long period of difficulty in several institutions, I was given support to set up and develop a small research institute which I was able to lead and manage successfully. I was not a good teacher for most students though I did seem to be able to attract and engage with the best students. I have been led to consider that I have Aspergers Syndrome as a result of having a grandson who is severely afflicted with AS. I am actually pretty happy. I currently have a European-funded research project that is very important to me. I have a lot of virtual interaction with professional colleagues, a number of whom I (and I believe they) consider to be friends -- though with infrequent direct contact. The downside is that my wife would like to have much more engagement with me and, though I love her dearly, I often find it difficult to break off from my work and I am relieved to return to it. I am not ready to retire and seem still to be making progress and influencing colleagues. I would not like to lose that focus. But, at the same time, I am concerned that my focus causes some distress to my wife. So I am conflicted about any consequences (which a conventional person might call benefits) of treatment for Aspergers. My question: I have seen in the forum that a number of contributors have said how important it was to them to have a formal diagnosis of AS. I am wondering what they (or you) have found to be the benefits of the diagnosis. Has anybody found that treatment gave some balance to their lives that was previously lacking? Has anybody found that they made and enjoyed long-term friendships after some treatment that would not have been possible before the treatment? Is there some reason other than access to treatment to have a formal diagnosis of AS?