mylittlemonster

what if it is causing a problem as in my daughters case? Obviously in a post i type on here its not the same as living with her She gets in trouble in school a lot for things she cant always help and is struggling with her work, at present shes around a year behind her peers with regards work but shes only in her second yr of infants so whos to say that as she progresses up the school its not going to get even harder for her, her teachers have said her concentration is a big problem and they find it very hard to get her to do work unless someone is sat at her table pushing her to do it, a diagnosis would mean she might get extra support in school, the headteacher has already said that if camhs find there is something wrong the school can then put things in place to help with the processing of things and support for my daughter, therefore enabling her to reach her full potential but thats if they diagnose her so Sally is right, support is limited in schools also it does cause problems at home, we find it hard to deal with outbursts and behaviour so some support on how to deal with these outburst will enable us to help her and support her. As for the questions over and over a child who has had damage to their brain caused by alcohol which my daughter could havebecause im not sure what her problems are down to, means she may not remember the last time she asked the question therefore she wouldnt understand that answer, her teachers have already commented on her lack of ability to remember things, this could be down to her processing but ive no idea again a diagnosis would help us to understand whether this is normal or caused by her processing or maybe damage from drink. A diagnosis wont make a difference to her as a person and i dont believe she will be judged based on a diagnosis, I believe a diagnosis will enable her to recieve the full support to reach her potential in life. And to be fair its my choice as a parent if i feel my child needs help to get her that help same as its your choice not to if that what you want, all it means is more doors are open to access support if they know whats causing the problems

Thank you all for your replies, yes Sally your so right i do presume she can recognise and respond to emotion, she knows to laugh when we laugh and she laughs at things she finds funny, she doesnt tend to feel sorry for people so much as she does animals, if she sees someone ill or dying on a programme it doesnt bother her yet if she sees the same in an animal she will cry, she doesnt seem to see that people suffer, she never says she feels sorry for someone, she only ever says she feels sorry for animals. When shes in trouble she wont look at me which is typical in any child i think and if i ask her to look at me she smiles the whole time. Chris FASD is something ive looked in to and spoke to someone from the support group, i even sent photos and she said she felt my little one showed facial features of the condition, to be fair there are so many things she fits the bill of but im no expert so will leave all that to camhs.

My little girl is almost 6, adopted, birth mum drank with her. Shes a lovely loving little girl, she struggles with school work and is behind probably about a year behind at the minute so not mega amounts. She has poor concentration, her teacher said some days better than others but they think it may improve as she matures, shes fidgety and they also say shes stubborn. If she doesnt want to do something she simply wont do it. She has a problem with clothes, they bug her and she will only wear a limited selection of clothes. They have to be just right, her bobble in her hair has to touch her head right, her socks cant have bumps in, her shoes must be very tight. She cries and kicks off if something isnt right. She plays with other children but doesnt have close friends, she prefers playing rough games like football anything she can jump or run about. Sitting and playing quietly is most definately not her thing lol, she doesnt get invited out for tea or anything like that. Shes rough with our pet dog as well, hugs him but hurts him every single day She argues a lot, is controlling, very bossy and when she wants something she wants it right away. She asks questions over and over even when youve already answered such as yesterday she wanted her scooter on the trampoline, she asked me and her dad jumped in and said no, she continued to ask me and i said your dad has already told you, she said yes but i wasnt asking him i was asking you so i said no and within half an hour she had asked us another two times. Our routine is always the same, everyday so she knows what to expect, if we did say plan to do something and it changed for example it snowed a few weeks ago and we had arranged to go swimming but changed our mind with the weather and she didnt get upset but she asked over and over and over all day about swimming even when we had told her we werent going Yesterday at camhs, they asked her lots of questions, she sat really nicely and answered them all and they spent some time on their own with her, at the end she said she needed investigating more and they would put together a plan of action, they said she has poor eye contact, is very fidgety and doesnt recognise or express emotion, she cant differentiate between anger and being happy or something like that she was saying. I was actually quite shocked by how much she had picked up in a short time. I never realised she had poor eye contact or that she wasnt recognising emotion. So i was then wondering whether there was more to it than just my feelings of her having problems with clothes and being hyper or could the clothes problem also cause the poor eye contact, failure to recognise and express emotion? Ive always said i feel there is something different with her but never felt she could have anything like aspergers or autism because she seems ok. They havent said aspergers its just the eye contact and emotion thing that made me wonder

Thanks again Yes ive contacted the FAS association and they have said it sounds like she could be on that spectrum. You dont need to have all the facial features you can still be on the spectrum without the facial features, she has a very thin top lip which is a sign and although she does have the groove over her top lip its only slight so this could be features but it could be herediatry, her mum also has a thin top lip as does her sister. Sally you have such a good knowledge of what I need to do, at the moment its just like a big brick wall lol hopefully this will help break it down

Thank you Sally initially at that parents evening i felt so positive with school, they acknowledged she had problems in school and they had problems with her, even just two weeks ago the classroom assistant said the concentration is the biggest problem we have. Her teacher (a supply as her own is off sick) said she has the potential to take off and do well once she gets it and I again felt quite good until someone pointed out that its if or when she gets it and when will that be. Her December assessments put her still below level one at national curriculum and thats when the headteacher said they would speak to the senco, this was a few days before they broke up from christmas and I assumed after christmas something would be in place even just an iep although he has never mentioned putting her on an iep, just after christmas he spoke to my partner about another thing and brought up my daughter, he said i havent phoned because nothings changed and she did ok in one guided task so were going to leave her now because we dont feel theres anything wrong with her learning but we will observe. I couldnt quite understand what task he meant as he told me before christmas that she was still below level one in all curriculum areas. The headteacher even said before christmas he felt there was something with her but couldnt decide what it was. Her class teacher said you get good days and bad days with her and on the good days she will get involved and work better but on the bad days you cant get anything from her. They said off the december results she had made slight progress but then how much is slight, I wonder how far away from the level one we still are. We have parents evening again at the beginning of march although her class teacher has only been in for two days since christmas and in between that they have had supply teacher or just the classroom assistant so not been a very consistant year for the children but I had said to her dad if shes still behind by this parents evening I want to get her seen as its getting so close to year two now and it worries me.

Thank you so much for all this information Sally...She at one point used to eat like it was going out of fashion but not put weight on now shes just obsessed with seeing it in front of her but getting her to eat is a problem, she eats very little, it takes her up to 40 minutes just to eat a meal but even then its rare she finishes it and I never give her big portions its all suited to her needs its like she gets bored of sitting there. Shes fine with toileting but will say shes hot and then say shes cold in pretty much the same breath. As for routine, with having four kids to get ready and out the door in a morning my routine is absolutely spot on lol she knows exactly what I expect in a morning although of course i do tell her what she needs to do next. She is more than happy on school mornings because she likes the uniform its comfortable so we have no real problems on a school morning only the odd problem if i dont do her bobble right in her hair or her feet are not soft as she puts it as this effects how her socks go on and feel, the only problems arise on non uniform days as it always causes problems with the clothes shes wearing. In the run up to christmas with all the different days they had in school we did have a bad couple of weeks with her crying on the way to school and not wanting to go in. She is quite happy to stay in her pjs on a day we are not going out. If we got up and said we were going somewhere she does get a bit upset if we change our decisions but not always overly upset just questions why and that we said we were going. She does get upset over little things such as I move the carseat in the car to the other side of the car, or I add an extra blanket on her bed, or I cant find the clothes shes asked for so i change them. Its little things really what cause her more upset. Oxgirl...I spoke recently to a social worker who said some of it sounded like attachtment issues but she didnt feel it could be and did query autism with us as her daughter also has it and a lot of what i said about my daughter was like hers. Justine...school seemed on the ball at first after the parents evening in october but then in december after the school assessments they said they would get the senco to assess her and then two weeks later changed there mind and decided they would just observe so no she has nothing in place in school. She did get put on stage 4 for behaviour last week for hitting someone but noone even notified me of that, until I found out she had been stood against a wall for 40 minutes in sub zero temperatures for it. Im all for her being punished if shes done wrong but not flippin tortured as it was bitter weather that day thanks everyone else who i have answered directly but all the info has helped a lot

Thank you yes we have looked in to this condition and she does fit things from many different areas, she doesnt have the facial features of this condition but does have other signs just wanted to get a view really as to whether it looked liked this condition as well as it keeps popping up from people

My little girl is almost 6 shes in year one at school and is adopted. Birth mother drank whilst pregnant so I have presumed this is the route cause of any issues with her a few friends have suggested our problems could be more on the autistic spectrum but im not convinced although i know for sure there is something. As a baby she was late with motor skills not majorly just slightly so crawled 4 days before her 1st birthday sat up when she was almost 10 months. She had a fab routine when she came to us at 7 months, slept well, was an amazing eater just whingy and pretty demanding. She would go to anyone at all who offered to hold her. Around the age of 1 and half to 2 she became obsessed with food like it was going to be taken off her, i must point out she was in care from being a newbaby so never deprived of food, I would limit her to what she should have yet she would use other people to get unbelievable amounts because 'they felt sorry for her' she would cry and cry or moan until she got her way. She went out with family one time who preceeded to tell me she had eaten chicken and rice, 7 bags of crisps!!!!!!!! chocolate, mcdonalds, it was ridiculous. Have to point out here she is a petite little thing only weighs 2 and half stone even now The eating carried, I could feed her a meal before us so that we could sit down when she was in bed or something but if she saw us eat whether she had eaten or not she would break down in flood of tears. She still pretty bad but has learnt to control it a bit she just goes on and on how much she likes something that someone else has got to the point they hear her and give her some. When she went to nursery she settled well had a set routine every morning that she had to have the buggies initially it was a problem in school as she would point blank refuse and get in a state if it was taken away, nursery also said she was very possessive especially of this other child in the class and noone was allowed to play with him other than my daughter or she would get upset, they also said she needed a lot of reassurance when there was something new going on. As time went on she developed an issue with clothes, she was about 2 or 3 when it first started but it became a problem when she was in nursery, she would wake up and needed to know what she was having on after nursery, what she was having on for nursery, what she was wearing at bedtime. She would frequently strip off her pjs and swap them and hide the others because she wasnt happy in the ones she had, they didnt feel right, she wouldnt wear dresses and they had to be right or it would cause kick offs. I spoke to the health visitor who also spoke to nursery and she decided perhaps it could be a bit of ocd but not anything else and that a parenting course might help me which I went on. When she went in to reception, the teacher said she was behind with her work, she shouted out, didnt like to wait her turn but ifd they had problems at the end of reception they would tell me, they never did so i assumed it was all ok. At home though things were getting harder and harder, she is lovely but shes loud, always on the go, cries a lot, shouts a lot, talks unbelievably a lot but not to us just out loud to her class of children. She plays the same game all the time, shes either a teacher or if her sister plays with her shes a boy in a wheelchair, shes obsessed with a little boy at her school whos in a wheelchair, she spent pretty much the whole of last year draggin herself around the floor like he did when he was out of his chair. She uses her bike, skateboard or car to pretend shes in a chair When she had gone in to yr 1 we mentioned to the classroom assistant that we were concerned about her and she said that theres nothing wrong with her shes just stubborn. At the first parents evening her teacher shocked me when I found out they were infact having problems in school as well as us at home, he said shes very behind, they cant get her to work, she switches off, doesnt concentrate, fidgets, messes about, cant work with numbers above 5, struggles with reading, never gets her spellings. Shes below level 1 in national curriculum, on the first stage of reading books still, she doesnt join in class discussion. I actually felt relieved that he had said it as i was beginning to think it was just us. She does play with other children but shes bossy and falls out with people constantly, she never gets invited out for tea or anything like most of the girls do now in her class. Her sensory issues have gone really bad, she cant have bumps in her socks, the ankle area of her pants have to sit right, her shoes have to be so tight they practially stop her blood, she will have me undo them over and over till they feel exactly the same on both sides, her waist bands have to be tight and not move, her neck line on her top has to feel right, they cant itch, labels often have to be cut out, she has major issues with gloves and hats, her bobble has to touch her head in the right place. She still has no stranger fear and would go off with anyone at all We phoned the school nurse before christmas and left a message but she never got back to us, so we went to see the doctor but it was hard to say things because we had her there for something else so i knew he hadnt listened and the referral to camhs was dismissed as an innapropriate referral and we told to go on a parenting course!!!!!!!!! Again! I spoke to camhs but they have told me i need to get her referred again, the headteacher in school said he has observed her and feels there is something with her but he cant say want, he doesnt feel its autism. He said the senco would get round to seeing her but he couldnt say when and that yes she was very behind but she was when she went to them. Verbally she sounds like shes been here before. Anyway school have now decided to just see how she goes before getting the senco involved so basically its like hitting a brick wall everywhere we turn. Sorry for the long moany post just wondered as its been mentioned a couple of times what you thoughts were