SidiousUK

I think it is always eaiser to reflect on your own failings rather than have to admit that you may have had a part to play in someone else's failings. To point out your own mistakes usually means you have accepted them and to admit that your failings may have contributed to anothers problem are hard to do. You cannot always make someone follow your advise or take into account all the variables. I for one would admit that perhaps I have not done the right thing by my daughter, but I had to learn by my own mistakes and seem to think that she should as well. You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Many parents find themselves in denial about problems that the apple of their eye are having this can be evident more in Adult AS suffers than children. I am 40 years old and my mother seems to have accepted that I may have Asperger's and my father just sees me as me. It is hard for them to recognise that as a child, I was just labled as shy, awkward, clumsey but that was then. Over time they have subconciously stopped doing things that would visibily upset me. In otherwords it became their habit or routine. Now adays, a child only has to have a tantrum and people start thinking ADHD or something similar. I think that there should be education for all parts involved. but yet again, you can take a horse to water but can't make it drink. Mental health or disabilities are still very much taboo subject in todays culture. It will remain so until a high profile sufferer comes forward and raises the profile so that it is acceptable to talk about and not something that is largely only discussed behind closed doors and in whispers. When I first mentioned Asperger's or Autism to some people you could see that the first picture that entered their mind was that of Rain man. I would point this out to them with the comment - "If I was like rain man, I would be on the first flight to Las Vegas!" Just my two penneth worth.

Thank you both. This is the reason I joined the forum in the first place - To converse with others about their experiences and hopefully understand a little bit more about AS. Everyone so far have given me food for thought and is making it eaiser for me to understand why I see things the way I do and prepare me for what may follow the diagnostic. You are right - I do need an answer/diagnosis ASAP and I will try to explain why. My employer has been extemly understanding but eventually they will get bored waiting for a diagnosis and will decide that having me working from home is not very cost effective. I have been at home since mid November, not moving forwards and not going backwards. To loose my job would also mean that I would loose a healthy outlet for my complusion which is only one of two (and there are only so many times I can watch Star Wars movies). I live on my own with my dog and he is getting on in years so I don't really have any other distractions or avenues of interest to persue. So to avoid system crash (loss of work, upset of my routine), I need to solve the problem of "do I have AS or not". Then my employer and I can move on with the process of adapting my job to make it more comfortable for me and more cost effective for them. To be formally diagnosed, my GP needs to request funding before I even get an appointment at a place that I cannot travel to without being a wreck (or wrecker) before I even get there. This part of the problem has been solved thanks to the Austistic Society who kindly sent me the details of someone more local but I have to pay, so pay I shall. I have been asked to fill out a test form and the more truthful I try to be the worse my score actually gets, so I'm getting a little frustrated. Is Honesty always the best policy? You are correct when you say a diagnosis or non diagnosis will put me on a different train. I just need a breather at the station to take stock before the train arrives. I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself and I am trying to find new things to do (espically at weekends) but anything I choose to do will become an obsession until it is complete and it will be completed to the best of my ability.

I am looking for the final piece of the equation which will solve the puzzle of why I am like I am. As I have mentioned before, I solve problems, that's what I love doing and that's what I'm good at. The problem occurs when the carbon based lifeform variable enters my equation. I cannot possibly take into consideration every eventuality that they may throw into the equation, and due to past experiences I try to eliminate their involvement in my life as much as possible now. So far, my experience with getting a diagnosis of "something" has been terrible. I have had to do all the running around, make a pest of myself and generally demand things all for a condition that was suspected by a medical professional over two months ago who then decided to just leave me with the question running around my head. if I do have Aspergers, then it will explain why so many so called friendships have just transpired to be a way of people getting from me what they want. I have learned to live without people and the only carbon based lifeform I can rely on has four legs and goes "woof" If I don't have it then I will start looking for another possible solution. I don't trust anyone and never will. People are just a swarm of annoying flys to me; unpredictable and an unwanted annoyance Sorry if that offends,

Hello all, Well after nearly 2 months between my psychiatrist suspecting I have Aspergers and me harrassing people for letters to go to my GP requesting that I be referred for testing, the letter is ready for me to collect. Now the fun begins. NHS will want to send me to London which is a "no way" and private health care will not cover me for some made up reason. Like many typical Aspergers sufferers, I tend to plan for every eventuality, and have found someone 20 mins from my house who will do the test for a fee. As far as I am aware, they qualified to carry out the test as their details were passed to me by the Austistic Society and I don't mind paying the money if it means I don't have to put up with the push and shove of rush hour train commuters. Here's to the next step Sidious

Thanks LancsLad. I don't have a timetable yet for a diagnosis but I am prepared to pay if needs be. I work with computers all day and this is also my obsession. By obsession, I mean there are problems that need to be solved and this is what I do what I get so absorbed in and I am also very good at it. I don't think that this helps with the way I see things. Everything I do involves 0/1, yes/no, true/false I am at my worst at the weekends when there are no problems that need solving and the question of "do I have A?S" is the only thing that remains unanswered. This also echos in my behaviour if I am forced out into a social situation. I either get pushed in the crowd or (if someone I am with notices it) turn into juggernaught with bodies flying out of my way. So again, All or nothing. I don't have a middle ground or "grey area" I'm 40 now and family say that I have always been like this. I would much prefer to watch a DVD at home for the 100th time than go out down the pub or to a friends house. Over time I have learned to cope with the absense of friends due to loosing contact or makeing a very bad decision in the choice of friends and a carbon based life form is a variable that cannot been factored into the "things to do today" equation. I am semi happy as I now have a possible answer to being the way I am, I just need the answer as the final part of the equation SidiousUK

Hello all, I am currently awaiting formal diagnosis of Aspergers which was picked up during treatment for depression. My main issue surrounds soclal interaction, empathy and the lack of "logic" shown by people I like to call "carbon based lifeforms". The thought of someone coming up to me and interruping what I am doing just seems to fill me with dread and I start searching my brain for the "How to seem interested in people" chapter in the manual. I have been told that sometimes I have a look on my face as if entering into a conversation seems to be causing me pain As a result, I now avoid outside contact as people's behavour makes me very angry and then fight to stop the anger boiling over makes me depressed. Up until now, I have been able to cope one way or another and was wondering if anyone has experienced the same. Were any of you able to cope up to a point and then for whatever reason just stopped coping? Regards SidiousUK