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Bagpuss

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Posts posted by Bagpuss

  2. Posted · Report reply

    We are setting off first thing in the morning, and as usual, totally disorganised.

     

    We've realised today that we havn't even bought a gas bottle yet :oops: which sort of scuppers our plans for cooking and heating :rolleyes:

     

    I thought I'd pop online to check forum before starting the ironing, packing blah blah blah.........and whoosh, hours have passed :ph34r:

     

    Don't know how much time I'll have to pop on forum before then (who am I kidding, I'll be on it at least another sixteen times :lol: ) so I'll say bye for now and see you all Saturday.

     

    I've got a couple of mobile numbers, so I'll ring someone when we get the Greenwich Park and try to find you all.

     

    Hope someone recognises me now I'm dark haired :unsure: We'll be the group of peeps looking half starved and cold muttering obscenities about caravans :whistle:

     

    Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

  4. Posted · Report reply

    Thanks NobbyNobbs.

     

    Yes, she does get on well with boys. She treats them as she does her "girl" friends, and there is one particular boy who she is very close too, and has been for years. He calls for her every morning for school, and often on evenings too.

     

    She also enjoys alot of the games that the boys play in the playground.

     

     

    Thanks for the book idea :) She loves reading, so I'll see if the library has it in.

  5. Posted · Report reply

    Baggy, my dd is not dx with anything, but she does have a few traits IYKWIM. She really struggled with social stuff when she hit 10... prior to that she wasn't great but she was girly and giggly with her friends but seemed to lose that around the age of 10/11 (puberty??). Anyway, how I dealt with it was to always be there to support her. Many a night I sat up talking to her about strategies etc and finding ways to deal with it. Her main difficulty was that she was painfully shy and just didn't know what to say to other girls to make or keep up a conversation. I started buying her a girly mag on a weekly basis, then she enrolled in a drama group on a Saturday morning to try to 'find her voice' IYKWIM. I also moved her to an all girls school because round about that age the presence of boys make girls very competitive and it didn't help that dd had braces, glasses and spots and went through a very plain stage!

     

    When friend ships start going wrong (which seems to happen with girls around the age of 10) it is awful to see and believe me I know how gut wrenching it is... like I said I still get the colliewobbles when I remember my dd going through this. She's nearly 16 now so is more or less beyond that stage and has some good friends now (though there are still the odd spat that she needs to discuss at length with me on occasion!).

     

    I will pm you the name of the magazine I used to buy my dd... it covers all sorts of issues and interests applicable to early adolescence, it gave her ideas on what other girls might want to talk about, and also made up for the fact that for about 18 months she had no friends :( (it was horrible, we'd relocated and she was ostricised and bullied so much at the school she went to and she was so unhappy that's when I moved her to the school she's at now... it took her about 2 years to get over it!). Makes me shudder to remember.

     

    Flora XX

     

    Flora, I'm sorry to read what your DD went through, that's awful :(>:D<<'>

     

    Thanks for the mag idea, I hadn't thought of that :) She tends to pick animal or pokemon mags when we go out, but maybe if I just buy her a girlie one, and leave it on her bed, she may take a look.

  6. Posted · Report reply

    Its a tricky age! this is where the divide seems to happen to "OUR" kids, they can muddle along when they are younger but as the other children naturally mature ours get left behind in the social stakes, and we have to teach them what comes naturally to others, as you say they dont mean to leave them out, it sort of happens insiduously (sp) I saw it happen to my son at that age, in fact it was when I first realised there might be something more wrong that just been a child who would`nt behave in school! Not much help, just my take on it!! Enid

     

    Thanks Enid. I can understand what you mean. My eldest DD just does not "get" fashion, make up, hair, etc etc, so if her friends are chatting about that she doesn't contribute at all to the conversation. She also struggles with conversations centred around someone else being complained about...ie, friends falling out with other friends and just the general girlie chats that they begin to have at that age. If they move onto something she is interested in, say Pokemon or DS games, then she can contribute, but otherwise, whoosh, straight over her head.

     

    I had wondered if girls on the spectrum found this age particularly difficult, in comparison to boys, due to girls being very cliquey etc. What happened with your son?

  7. Posted · Report reply

    Baggy reading your post sent shivers down my spine of memories... not only going through this myself, but when my daughter went through it. It's horrible and really tears you apart inside. It seems you're doing all the right things and keeping an eye on the situation which really is about all you can do.

     

    Flora >:D<<'>

     

     

    Your right Flora, it does tear you apart. I just feel kinda helpless, and that I can't "teach" her about "girliness".....does that make any sense? :wacko:

     

    We have secondary school looming in a year and I'm already feeling jittery :(

  10. Posted · Report reply

    Our eldest DD is 10 (AS) and has become abit tearful tonight regarding playtimes at school.

     

    She does have friends and often goes to their houses after school or has them here. Often classmates will call for her too, either to walk to school or to play out after school.

     

    However, she said that two particular friends, one of which is one of her closest, are going off by themselves to talk at playtimes and she is beginning to feel left out. She said it had been happening for a long while, but she didn't want to say anything about it. She said she is now "going off" her closest friend due to this, even though she has been at this particular girls house twice for tea in the last fortnight. I'm struggling to get a handle on exactly what is happening, as DD can't read these situations clearly, and I don't know if this is being done deliberately or not.

     

    She said when they walk off she tries to go over to them, and says hello. They reply hello and then they walk off again.

     

    She said she doesn't attempt to say anything further, because she doesn't know what to say.

     

    I asked her if she could maybe try to join in with what they are talking about, but she says she doesn't know what they are talking about.

     

    I tried suggesting that maybe she could listen to what they were talking about, after saying hello, and then join in, but she's adamant that they will feel she is eavesdropping.

     

    I think she feels that if they wanted to talk to her they would include her, and all she needs to do is say hello, and take it no further.

     

    She said she then wanders off and finds other people to play with, and specifically people that are playing a game of some sorts. She seems to get on very well with boys and enjoys joining in their games.

     

    I'm at abit of a loss as to what to do to help her :( I asked her if she'd like to talk to her friends and explain that she was feeling left out, but she doesn't.

     

    I've asked her if she'd like me to have a word with her teacher, again it was an absolute no from her.

     

    I've also said that maybe if she feels uncomfortable with going over to her friends when they are alone and chatting, she could just find her other friends and do something she is comfortable with, rather than attempting to go over and talk to them. She seemed the happiest with that suggestion.

     

    She went on a weeks residential school trip recently, and while we were all waiting in the hall with the other pupils and their parents before the bus arrived, I noticed how the other girls were all in small groups, excitedly chatting about their clothes, their hair, the trip, their bags etc, but DD stood on the sidelines, with DH and I. The girls did make attempts to come over and talk to her, often, but it seemed they had to carry the conversation and DD just didn't get all the girlie chit chat. I didn't get the impression she was deliberately being left out or that they disliked her in anyway, in many ways I think they find her quite uncomplicated.......did get a huge lump in my throat though :rolleyes:

     

    I do wonder if this is all down to girlies just being girlies, but trying to explain that to DD in a way that she understands is so difficult.

     

    Any advice?

  15. Posted · Report reply

    11:00am is good, though looking at tickets I might come earlier ( .... much earlier :unsure: the train that gets there around 9:00 is half the price of the others - I'll look and see anyway - anyone know anywhere good for breakfast within striding distance of York station? :eat:). And what time do you normally finish? I can get any train between 4pm and 8pm but if I book in advance it's much cheaper. I'll probably book a later one anyway just to be safe; I assume York is fairly safe once the Northern sun has set at 2pm? :unsure::lol:

     

    Sorry Mumble, can't help with cafe's as I don't know York very well, other than spending the odd day trip there. From what I remember though, York Station itself has places to eat.

     

    Unsure what time the meet up will finish as we usually meet at Newcastle and go for a meal which tends to last only a few hours. I should think it'll be like Greenwich with people staying as long as they can/want with no pressure.

     

    :)

  20. Posted · Edited by Bagpuss · Report reply

    *Waves hand with white flag attached to stop those vicious Northerners coming in for the kill* :devil:

     

    I can come provided I have some advanced warning (i.e. now!! :lol:) about times (there and back - but I can't get to York station before 10:01am), so I can book my train ticket, because if I have to get it on the day, it'll cost a small fortune. Although, I suppose I could book it and go for a day out in York by myself anyway ...

     

    What about 11.00? Would everyone be able to make it for then?

     

    So far we have.....

     

    Me & DH

    Mumble

    KarenT & J

    Pearl and poss JP

    Sue & two boys

    TheNeil

  25. Posted · Report reply

    whats wrong with croydon Mumble??? :huh: Cant be that bad?? i could bring kevlar vest?? or do i need the kevlar helmet too?? :ninja:

     

     

    Fret not Warren, it can't be any worse than Sheppey where we stayed last year :)

     

    This year we will be in our van, slap bang in the middle of a boggy field and will sink without a trace :(

     

    Croydon, dry land, and a private loo would be heaven :tearful:

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