A-S warrior
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Posts posted by A-S warrior
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insecurity effects us all, when im feeling insecure i usually draw into my family for support, or talk to a good friend. we all need that much needed reasurance sometimes.
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when im listening to a song i like or watching a film i like, i repeat an song or scene multiple times because it pumps me up and gets me motivated, with some songs i can play a verse several times literaly the same line in a song and i keep reapeating it, its like i cant get enough, like a particular song or movie scene isnt long enough to satisfy me. i once played the same song 29 times in a row! i dont know if its because i have an addiction for motivation or im just mad.
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Well I'm a sad git. I used to love trains a lot and have a hoard of models relating to my "spotting days" era. My wife understands these will go when I die (which hopefully, is years away yet...) I also hoard books relating to my many and diverse interests and work. These are "me". Many of my models/books were very expensiveto buy (especially textbooks) which I keep for reference and therefore I am not going to get rid of them lightly. I am very possessive and don't lend out books because I worry about what state they might come back in. Nearly all my books are in mint condition and I am obsessive in keeping them that way.
nothing sad about that lad! trains are awsome pieces of machinary. not the modern day southern trains though there so depressing, bring back the slam doors i say!
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If there is an issue here it is relating to levels of a medical condition and how you define them, and also that often definitions have different cultural meanings.
I found for example the attitude of the soldiers competing for' team true spirt' at this years ironman really refreshing they described their injuries and conditions in very black and white terms 'I am a double 3/4 leg ampute' for example, what I could see is someone who had had the majority of his lower body blasted off by a land mine and had been tidied up a bit. I thought to myself for them it is seems really clear cut obvious and as such easier to understand and accept and they had seemed to move on very quickly with their lives, a real inspiration for me if only I have a fraction of their strength.
In contrast behavioural and mental conditions are not as clear cut. I know I suffer a fair bit with background noise, light levels and smells, though breaking my nose a few times playing rugby has improved this last area. I know this is because of my AS condition but what I really do not know what it is like for NT's in this respect and importantly what this is like for other people with AS. The worst thing would be to have a sliding scale for example I have a level 7 condition is that really better or worse than level 3 it makes no real sense to be honest. At the end of the day something might be quite bad for me or you but if you can deal with it and still leave a regular type life how would you quantify it to others. I think this is the important point if someone says this is a bad or very bad thing in my life we need to take it at face value. A personal example is that I have suffered in the past a double disk prolapse in my back, quite a serious injury, but because I have a high pain threshold an AS thing for some I can more or less get on with a very active life. I have come across people who have had back problems that the medical profession would say were no where near the level of my injury and it has destroyed their life so how do you define the two together. My opinion theirs is the worst injury because it is having more of a negative impact at the moment. in the long term I might need surgery and they might get away with this and the position might be reversed.
If you throw into this terms which have diferent cultural meanings such as OCD then we are getting into potentialy very problematic areas. OCD is thrown around conversation like confetti at a wedding these days. I can understand someone with OCD which has a very big impact in their lives been really pissed off about this fact. I am not having a go at anybody here but we need to cut each other a bit of slack otherwise we will get into a points scoring game. What is OCD for someone might not be OCD in anothers eyes. What we need to focus on is how it affects our lives and the level of stress it causes. I have OCD type tendencies but no formal diagnosis so is it OCD? I tend to view it as 'OCD type behaviour'. I do have to check my keys a number of times before i go out for a run or on my bike, once is just not possible but for me this is a really small thing for someone else it could be highly frustrating and lead to a lot of personal anguish I respect that.
In getting away from hard cold clinical medical definitions, something which is often I feel a theme in NT parent posts, not all but many, we have to be able to talk in open and emotional terms and that means respecting each other and understanding people have feelings it is the only way a forum like this can work. We will overstep the mark at times, and as such we need to be self reflective and forgiving, but it should never get personal as I suspect we understand that deep down many of us are fragile at times, I know I am and I am not ashamed to say so.
again someone direct me to the like buttton lol
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lol why dont we have a like button on here? that would deserve a thumbs upJust look at Tally's gorgeous picture and say "Meow"! Then get over it. You know you can do it.
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Hey A-S Warrier, take a break! I used to allow people to wind me up because of my social naivity and vulnerability. It drove me to parasuicide. My wife has taught me to be calm and to be more forgiving of people. I haven't been on this forum long enough to "know" anybody but from what I've learnt from other forums, moderators have every right to ban members if they don't like them. I myself was banned from a forum because things turned sour. Please don't let this happen to you.
i,ll try, its just i can get very frusrated when im trying to help pepole to be a bit more positive and i feel like im being called a liar. my faith is begining to teach me to even embrace pepole that dont like me. im slowly getting there. but can be hard sometimes espeshilly when i cant hear pepoles tone of voice. i defo suffer from forum rage, i get so fired up i guess you could call me passionate and full of energy.
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its always the way on forums out of 10 pepole theres always 5 pepole that agree with me, 4 pepole that respectfully debate my posts (i like those pepole the most) and 1 person that just doenst like me. and that 1 person will hijack all my threads and try to wind me up, and try to make me look stupid. im not going to complain and ask why tally doesnt like me and moan about it. im just going to keep on my task in hand. and help pepole as much as i can. tally if you want to stay negative and live your life weighed down by limitations then my topics arnt for you. with a name like A-S warrior you should know what your getting yourself into.
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Someone who actually has OCD cannot just pull themselves together like that. It's not a helpful stereotype to perpetuate, and if you had real OCD then it wouldn't just go away because you decided to stop being anxious. OCD is defined as an illness, not a bad decision, so it's not as simple as changing your mind and it goes away overnight. This is the best explanation I can give.
see guys it was right the first time, its almost like i have to qualify in tallys eyes, i cant have ocd or aspergers because my ideas and theroys are false. these are my opinions and views, i wouldnt dare contridict anybodys opinion on here because we all have a-s and there all valid. if you dont like my posts then dont read them, simple solution, pepole are intelligent enough to take pieces of info i give out and try it out if they want to, diddnt say its a one size fits all soultion. different dimentions of aspergers have different awnsers, and i said it to you before if i only help 1 person on here cope better than all my effort was worth it. i wouldnt normally awnser back a moderator but your being unfair and i wont be pushed around by someone who obiously has taken a dislike to my comments.
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Don't worry, I tend to misinterpret things sometimes. But I think that's human nature anyway
lol i recieved so many infractions on the last forum i was on its almost unbeliveable. moderators couldnt keep up with my posts, i had them edited almost everytime had at least 2 threads deleted 1 was locked and all becaue i misunderstood pepole lol when i get my teeth into someone i dont let go. im hoping i can stay cool on here because i think i have alot to offer and i also have alot to learn.
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good post, i too am very precice with nutrtion, im a bodybuilder so my ratios have to be inch perfect i also train alone in a dark dungeon creating a monster (lol) i think in some ways alot of my logic was portraied in your post, again a-s sufferers prefer there own company and that eliminates distraction, to allow us to have the avantage, am i right?
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Tally, on 16 March 2012 - 02:04 PM, said:
I am utterly speechless. I don't even know what to say.
you dont like me or my posts, there you go i spoke for you.
A-S Warrier. I read Tally's last post above as a compliment. I got the impression he liked your post - or am I mistaken?
I used to have a website with my pictures until Fotopic folded...
I won't go into detail as it's completely off topic.that could be my aspergers showing through lol! i misunderstand internet posts frequently and get upset.
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AS-Warrier, you have summed this up in a nutshell perfectly.
Yes I am AS so am pleased that the traits I/you have described are "normal" to AS.
good stuff rob, glad ive helped at least 1 person lol. ive seen a few of your posts and enjoy them, and i wouldnt mind seeing some of your photos :-)
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I am utterly speechless. I don't even know what to say.
you dont like me or my posts, there you go i spoke for you.
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AS-Warrier, that's a very positive way of looking at OCD but it isn't always the way it works - at least not for me. I can't leave my home without checking that everything is locked up and safe (fridge closed, switches on the cooker all off, etc.etc. Ditto before I go to bed at night. I've got it down to needing 2-3 hours from getting out of bed to closing the front door in the morning and maybe l/2 to 1 hour in the evening but I HAVE to do it. This is an enormous improvement on how I used to be and I did it without any outside support or help - basically because until I saw a CSI episode in which a character described the condition in detail I didn't know other people had the same problem. The worse thing about it is that I still have to fight the need for repetitive behaviour if there's something worrying me about my own health or the health/safety of someone I care about.
this is indeed true, as i said in my personal experience when theres somthing i cant settle in my own mind i turn to my faith. now the last thing i would do is try to plug my faith that is just something that works for me to calm my ocd. i know that some of my positive thinking can run away with me and i sometimes need to think with a bit more disapline. from my experience when my ocd was bad for me the best solution (i nearly said cure) was education (at least for the exsessive hand washing) as for the security checks i used to do making sure oven was off, alarm clock was still set at 7am etc etc i got to a point where i said look i only have to check once! and only once! its not going to change! i had to be quite stern with myself almost to the point my own mind was shouting at me, and as tempting as it was to check again i had to say no! if your ocd is a comfort and doesnt cause probelms then thats fine, but if it becomes mental tourture then try some of the tactics ive tryed (dont worry about religon you dont have to go there) failing that try doing reaserch from a number of sources to find out how pepole have coped, it seems your ocd has improved over time as you say, so thats already a step in the right direction good luck :-)
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this is almost a discimer, i just poted on another topic exactly what it i im getting at, pepole with aspergers genuinly crave routine, this is one of the abilitys im talking about. not many pepole can stand up to the same routine day in day out, many just get bored and sticking to a routine means we journey deeper into our tasks and learn more about them, hence becomming the best. you havent got to be a celebrity, or a super hero or a concorde piolt that some of you seem to think. its just utilising whatever your mannerisums are and using them to be the best at something,
so over to you, its my time for me to prove myself to you all and see how deep my logic goes, tell me, and we,re going the other way now, tell me what daily habits you have, things you consider disabilitys, things that make life hard for you etc. i,ll see if i can show you how to use these thing to your advantage. and achive your potential, (rember even if your just a guy stacking shelves thats enough!)
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in regards to your obsession with routines, thats a classic aspergers trate, and one of the advantages i bang on about. the reason is not many pepole can stand up to the same task day in day out without getting bored, we can! plus asprerger sufferers also follow a routine like clockwork and begin to start doing things by instinct (this is how we become the best at something and perhaps i should be more specific with my logic) and one of the hardest things is coping when our rouitnes are disturbed, and as you say you go into a semi meltdown and then recover in a few moments and then work around them, this is also is very good the fact you can work around them to me means the ability to adapt. and you say at the end you dont adapt to change well and have a certain way of doing things, well that brings me to a saying i use quite often, if it aint broke dont try to fix it, espeshilly if what your doing is a good thing, too many pepole always try to change and tinker with things when theres no cause, a non a-s suffer just cant resist screwing up a good plan. with your photograpy this is a perfect example of what ive been talking about the last few days, using aspergers as an ability, (im only asuming you have a-s as your on an a-s forum) you dont have to be a celebrity or a super hero, just being the best in your field even if that is working behind a till, this all comes down to love for routine, (witch in turn helps us journey much deeper into our tasks) yes your fidgeting with the camera constantly changing focus etc instead of sitting back and relaxing could be ocd but to me again that shows another ability, a non a-s sufferer would just sit back and read a paper, but no you wont be satisfied until you get the best posible shot this is not an obssesion to me, to me its a sign of putting in maximum effort to get the best results. and im going to hazard a gues that your photos are better than most right? lastly worring again could be obssession, its usually just a side effect of a-s or as i like to see it, worrying to me is thinking to yourself have i done this properly to the best i can do? and if im worrying about things out of my control theres nothing i can do about it so thats that! worrying is like finding a soulotion to a problem and panicing over it, best thing to do is say whats the worst that could happen? then visualise the worst case senario and immagine how you would cope with that situation. i worry about getting run over by a bus worst case senario is i die, if im dead i have nothing to worry about!
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ok, so you,ve heard me bang on about the positives that aspergers bring, but as with most things in life there are cons and unwanted side effects.
it would be unrealistic of me to say im cured of it and i dont have any problems.
this topic is all about something that effects alot of us and that is obssesive compulsive disorder.
i had all sorts of things i used to do on a regular basis, knock on wood, salute magpies, never walk over 3 drains, i even had a picture of my girlfriend with all the things she brought for me surrounding the picture to protect her and every night i kissed the picture 3 times. i called it my alter.
now im not for a second suggesting you do what i did to get over it. but im telling you how i have beaten it for good.
about 6 weeks ago i started going to church and talking to a good friend who is helping me through my relationship break up. i know what your thinking he brain washed me right? well no. embracing god has really helped me with most of my problems in life, and its making me a much happier person. doing ocd rituals means im not worshiping god, im worshiping something else, and god is the one protecting me not my own rituals, and my self built alter was attracting the wrong kind of sprits and again ones witch were not god. so that for me was an instant cure for my ocd.
now i appreciate that ocd takes many forms, i was a frequent hand washer as well, but when i got a stomach virus in jauary witch lasted a week, that showed me that it doesnt make a difference how many times i wash my hands im still subject to illness, so that liberated me of that ocd and thus learning my lesson.
another one was making sure the oven was turned off over and over, the question is if i turned it off and im alone in the house why would it still be on?
ocd cant be cured but it can be contained.
so over to you, what are your ocd rituals? how do they make you feel safe? and were did they stem from? and can yours be locked up forever?
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I just think you're going to turn a lot of people off your message by pressuring them to attain greatness when a lot of us are having difficulty just getting by. It's not wrong to encourage and motivate people, and help them think more positively. I just think that the way you are going about it is a bit grandiose and is likely to have the opposite effect. I just thought, "I can't ever achieve any of this, so what's the point in trying?"
I do not have photographic memory. I think I would have realised if I did. This is not low self-esteem speaking, you are just plain wrong about this.
It sounds like you've overcome a lot to get where you are now. But it also sounds like you've managed this despite your Asperger's, rather than because of it. Getting a job in a bar, given your difficulties, is impressive. But if Asperger's gives us the special advantage you say it does, this is not a good example.
I never thought I could cope with university, but now I have a place to start in September. I'm proud of that, even if you don't think it's enough.
alot of the pepole i have met with aspergers do have a tremendous memory, even photographic like i say.
all i,ll say for now is this, whatever you do to prove to yourself that you can do something that you thought you couldnt is a huge challange to overcome! you couldnt cope with the thought of university but yet you still went through with the interview and then ended up getting a place in university, its an amazing achievment. its not the size of a challange to overcome that matters. its the fact you overcame a challange! and you should! be proud of that, and does it matter if i think its enough? if its enough to you thats all that matters. i personally think lots of small challanges taken one step at a time have big results, and to get a place at uni is to me a big challange to overcome alone! going through the interview proccess is a very intimidating experience for anybody. i never said that all the walls for an asperger sufferer are going to get broken down at once, it takes lots of time and patience and determination. even talking to the guy at the till at tesco is a huge huge step if you,ve never done it before. im not just going to go around spaming this forum with my slogans and statments, my goal is to talk to individuals and learn about aspergers and give as much help as i can. if i can change one persons life for the better then it was all worth it. im not trying to be mr popular on here, im just trying to help.
you probably dont want to hear this, but i have a feeling that you are going to do very well at uni, small baby steps eventually equals big results. just like filling up a bucket of water with a pippette. takes a while but eventually that bucket gets filled.
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A-S warrior, I think that your message is going to get lost in the way it's coming across. It feels like you're saying I am living my life wrong and should be as successful as Michael Jackson. Which I don't think is true. And it just turns me off listening to the rest of what you have to say.
I don't have the remarkable abilities you say I should have, so it's difficult to know how I am supposed to achieve greatness like you think I should be doing.
What remarkable feats have you achieved and how did your Asperger's help you do it?
ok right erm ,all im trying to put forward the advantages that aspergers has and trying to help pepole become more positve and not try to see aspergers as a disability so much. what wrong with trying to motivate pepole? plus you probably DO have the remarkable feats i say, you probably dont realise it. my main goal is to help a-s suffers achieve a point of no limitations and help pepole to reach a level they thought they never could. ive been on forums before were pepole dont like my comments and have been over critical to the point it upsets me, i diddnt think i would get that here but you have proven me wrong. i try so hard to say the right thing and be a gentleman but theres always someone ready to debunk everything i say. at the end of the day i was on your side and backing you up.
my achievements? diagnosed when i was 5, went through hell as a boy suffered ocd, panic attacks, epilepsy, severe depression and anger issues. ive put my mother through hell and back with my aspergers, have you read the topic help aggressive teen? i was worse than him. i was put in a isolated cubicle in classrooms so i couldnt distrupt the class, i was scared of crowds terrified in fact, diddnt talk properly since i was in my teens. and went to useless support workers that diddnt know what they were talking about, labled by teachers as naughty, dangerous, rude and just trying to get attention, and delberatley scrawls his hand writing to waste time. i was the same as a severly autistic person. assement after assement after assesment! i even rember at age 10 wanting to kill myself. my very worried mum was desperate to get me the help i needed and gues what? no one gave a damn! i was as negative as you can get, and from there i pulled myself up forced myself into uncomfatable situations, came out of my comfort zone, got a job at a night club to challange myself, ive had my heart broken when my relationship with my girlfriend painfully ended (she was indian and i am white) i lost her because of her family ties. but i forced myself to overcome all of these challanges over the last 21 years. when i realised my ability to come through all of this with a limp but a smile all the while is due to the metodical brain power and the ability to look at things in a very matter of fact way is due to me having aspergers, as soon as you embrace it and start to see it as a tool to help you achieve your potential and be optomistic in your approach is when you will then start to see what it is im talking about. aspergers if used in the right way is a gift! yes it isnt easy and it doesnt happen over night it happens when you employ a positive, forward thinking attitude! ive know about my aspergers for 16 years, now my goal is to give the help no one gave me, the insight into the coping stratiges ive employed over the years, rember ive had 16 years to find this positive view over aspergers, and i think its time to make pepole become less negative and more (alot more!) positive. and start to use that brilliant brain (that you dont yet realise you have!) for good, my examples of the celebritys were for inspriation, to show that the sky is the limit even for pepole with aspergers! there are no limitations at all! im here to help pepole catch on to this quicker than i did. for example if i was paralised from the waist down, does that mean i shouldnt at least try to walk? you never know i might suprise myself and walk again! or maybe i need the inspration of someone who was completley paralised that just ran a marition. positive thinking is the key! im tired of pepole on the autistic spectrum being ignored and disregarded, arnt you?
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when your buying like £70 worth of shopping and the spotty teenage girl behind the counter asks, would you like a bag?
pepole asking stupid questions forinstence when i say oh my head hurts, some says does it?
a sign that says elevator can be found on the third floor, oh it CAN be found? well i sure hope i find it!
pepole with no integrity. and no morals.
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i said it before somewere, doctors and menal health "professionals" that arnt on the autistic spectrum simply dont understand it and never will. it takes someone with aspergers to understand it. for example if you thought you had aspergers who would you turn to? the specialist? or the guy who has aspergers and has overcome it? altough i see my a-s as an ability, newer suffers certainly dont. thats why there should be pepole like me working in the nhs with pepole on the autistic spectum. i actully know what im talking about and would be solving pepoles problems much more effectivley and quickly without all the trouble and distress inbetween. but no! you need a phd in bulls*it these days to be able to do anything!
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i have to admit and im about to reveal a guilty pleasure, i like to fantasise about being the captain of thunderbird 3. i immagine that i indeed live on tracy island and im part if the team with my cousins and i see myself as the astronaut of the group yes im 21 and should of grown out of it along time ago. i dont even think its an a-s thing i just think that men never grow up and that we all like to immagine were our favorate childhood heros at least 3 to 4 times a week. if you dont your lying!
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the key to it all is positive and forward thinking, if you need help with that aeoleinne then i,ll be glad to.
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A-S Warior I think the honest answer is we all have a limited amount of energy and time and we do not know what sort of weather is around the corner. Given my own personal experiences and using your flamboyant question as a basis I think the aim is to build a sustainable eco system. Eco systems do not really work as they do in the star trek films or as some sort of Genesis project, they take time. In a similar way I think over time we can build multi faceted lifestyle but we have to nurture it bit by bit.
There have been times in my own life where I have felt like a super hero teaching, leading a department, helping in the design of a new school, coaching sport at a high level, having a house full of foster kids from very challenging backgrounds and trying to keep fit all at the same time. The problem was everyone around me apart from my partner felt I was some sort of super hero and kept pushing things in my direction without any of them ever seeing half of the big picture. In my life there was some bad weather around the corner when my head unfortunatly had to retire due to a heart attack on the golf course. Within a few short months the whole lot had unravelled and I had my first breakdown. Thinking I was almost invincible I came back as strong as I could and started a new job as planned but it was too soon, within six months I had been in a secure mental health unit had attempted suicide and had been sacked from my job.
I think my life example highlights a few things. Firstly we are capable of a lot but we need to make sure that things are well established and in a healthy state before we turn out attention to new projects. Secondly we have a limitied capacity in our lives and that we are in danger of loosing an awful lot if we go too far to fast. To a large extent living with AS is a life of risk management strategies, some live on the edge at times others tend to play it safe. The last point is we need to build in capacity because we do not know what storms might be around the corner.
As individuals with AS I think our capacities are very varied and we need to be realistic, thats not to say we should not be ambitious if we feel that way. I think at the end of the day there are different ways of finding value in our lives. Some of us might be enclined to design sustainable ecology parks (my area of interest), others might feel they want to create a window box. I think whatever we do we should do it at our ability level and do it well, if we can say we have done this then I feel we have produced something of value.
athelite to athelite i think you would agree we shouldnt accept limitations as an option. but i guess me being young and eager and very experienced at my age i can miss the fine print in some individuals. but! im fully confident i can help the majority of pepole that suffer a-s with my approach, maybe i need to be a tad more disaplined. i just need to talk to a few more pepole on here and get my bearings.
lol does anybody else have this habit?
in Off Topic
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lol that reminds me of when i used to play all the training montage scenes from rocky 4 everyday before i did anything else. also when drago beats down apolo and theres all that chaos going on and all drago says is, if he dies, he dies. im getting pumped up just thinking about it. also the opening to rocky 3 had the same effect. i always sided with the bad guys.