I’m 29 years old, and I’ve been wondering about this for years. I have difficulty as an adult in a number of areas of my life and its starting to bug me. Now, I have absolutely no clue about anything, I`m here more in hope of an opinion. I appologise if any one resents me using your good forum in this way, but I simply didnt know where else to go
Learning:
I find it HUGELY difficult to read anything that isn’t interesting to me (i.e. if my brain doesn’t deem it relevant its like the words become a pile up at times) This makes learning anything out of normal context, i.e. a new job, quite difficult unless I find it, I don’t know, useful? engaging?. I have always been able to learn MUCH better, by doing over reading. As you can imagine, education was a general nightmare for me, resulting in completely disconnected teenage years.
Words:
Often I have found words misplaced in a sentence I have written, or in the wrong order. For this reason I have barely touched a pen in ten years. Its annoying at times as I have to spell & sentence check literally everything I write (which of course includes this). Also I can have difficulty spelling small words but have absolutely no problem with the likes of onomatopoeia... ! however, the correct use of their/there or the spelling of "beautiful" escapes me without looking it up.
Speech:
This can be frustrating to me as I am quite eloquent in my speech, but even that at times has the ability to truly put my foot in it without thinking. Sometimes making me either look an idiot or serve to be the laughing stock of others. Describing something like an event in my day to a friend, is also difficult, I will rattle off every minute detail about it rather than getting to the point, I try not to but I cant help it, often to the boredom/irritation of the person listening. Thankfully my friends will often interrupt with “get to the point...”
Organisation:
Prioritising things is a task and a half. There are things I know I should do, I know I "HAVE" to do them, but they just don’t get done. I have had some forms here I need to fill in, they are still on my desk right here. And have sat here for 14 months... WHY>??! I will only even think about the damned things just before bed, "ooo crumbs, must do those tomorrow..."
And that will be the last thought on it till I recall them again... Just one example of many.
Mood:
more often depressed than not, a desperate obsession that all things must be fair in life in any scenario. I am way too easily hurt, I take everything to heart and I worry about situations that have nothing to do with me. I don’t like anyone to disturb things around me, even if I haven’t finished something yet, I am grateful that a friend will try to help but get deeply annoyed when I am not left to do it my own way, (which is often slow, convoluted and incorrect)
Friends:
I havent made a new friend in nearly a decade, thankfully I have a couple of very good friends who if it wasnt for them turning up on my doorstep I would probably never see. I dont know why but I find it so very difficult to maintain contact with people who are not often in front of me. This includes family
Body language:
I`m quite laid back generally but prone to passive/aggressiveness. Also I’ve noticed on many occasions people telling me to sit the hell still because I’m jiggling my foot, always the foot...
Projects:
Capable of starting 15 things at once, incapable of finishing one...
History:
I never was tested for anything, I did have a chat with my mother about this the other week, she told me that when I was 4 years old, we were in a waiting room, there were some small weights, and some coloured blocks. I organised the weights according to size and weight and the blocks according to colour and size, odly enough I actually have a vague recollection of it. After that came the constant taking anything electrical apart and the urgent need to push any given button within a few feet of me... that was fun when I broke my aunties washing machine aged 8
Sadly this was 1986. Nobody thought much of these things back then.
Self Diagnosis:
I know, I know... bad idea! hence I am not looking for a diagnosis online, however I have ran a bunch of indicator tests today which prompted this Question/ essay! from the likes of phsychcentral.com and the NHS here in the UK. and they all come up with moderate to severe scorings.
I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it, or even if there is anything to do anything about... All I know is, I have an above average IQ, and yet I feel so, "limited" with certain things in daily life. Its hard to explain and physically frustrating to me to think about it. I apologise if my descriptions are lacking. Ive done the best I can.
So, If I`m being a silly sod and wondering about nothing then I`m sorry if Ive taken up your time, but if someone out there thinks theres more too it than personal stupidity on my part (or even if you think thats all it is), please, let me here you.
Thanks for your time.
Luc.
