SensitiveSoul

2 hours on Skype - that's definitely my new record!

Soooo glad to be home, and soooo glad it's the weekend. It's been a hard day today!

Don't know what came over me today. I've been on a massive high and reminded myself of a child with ADHD!! I think I must have been taken over by aliens for the day because the way I've been today is so far removed from how I normally am!

I am in such a fabuolous mood today that it's scary!! I've been walking around work annoying the kids with my seriously out of tune singing! I don't know who this person is that's taklen me over and what they've done with Sonia!

After a day of hardly budging from my bed, and just now a nice, hot bath, I feel slightly more human again - although still ridiculously tired. I seriously cannot wait to just go to sleep!

Second day back on meds and I feel so rough! I hope these side effects ease off the more my body gets used to the meds again because feeling like I do is a nightmare!!

I've taken control of things because I wasn't afraid to hold my hands up and admit that I've not been coping and I need help. I'm very lucky because I have such a lovely GP that it makes it all the easier to do that!

I must have done something really bad to deserve to have everything I know and rely on to crash down around me quite so spectacularly! I just really need some continuity and structure back. I've never felt so lost in my life!!!!!!!!!

Strange old day today. Sorted things with my CPN and had a good session, but also realised I'm still full of emotion over the situation with my therapist. I completely sobbed my heart out! Everything's changed and it all feels so wrong. My CPN is trying to do the DBT stuff my therapist does with me, and it just does not feel right! I hate change and desperately want things back to how they should be!

Me thinks a bath is in order. I need a break from this damn form, and I need to try and relax a bit!

One of my best days ever! Great chat with Elaine Nicholson to start the day off on a positive. Lovely drive out with Robert Mann around lots of nice places - despite the rain. Popped in and said hello to my dad, and got home to find my sister here with my gorgeous niece who never fails to brighten up my day - not a negative in sight today

Feeling so much better after taking time out to go and have something to eat. Now time for PJ's, TV and 1st job on the list of things to do

I think I need to chill out. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by what I want to try and achieve and am going into meltdown mode and really can't think straight. I need to try and get myself to think of 'one step at a time' so I don't get so overwhelmed!

I've never laughed so much in my life. The way Robert Mann's voice recognition software is interpreting our voices is hilarious! Some of the interpretations are unrepeatable!

I thought I was angry yesterday, but compared to today that was nothing! The people I need to listen to me the most just aren't listening. The one who is listening really doesn't understand! In her words telling me about having Asperger's is 'the worst thing she ever did' because before then I wasn't a person with Asperger's and I have apparently 'made myself into someone with Asperger's' and should be 'trying to act differently and do normal things'! the level of ignorance is astounding!

Pissed off doesn't even come close to describing how I'm feeling right now!!!!!!

I got the best of both worlds tonight. Got a great view of some fireworks, without being close enough to be too bothered by the noise I only freaked a couple of times when the bangs got a bit loud for my liking (the hands went to the ears once but only for a split second), however nothing like usual. My best bonfire night experience in years! Thanks Dawnie Owen for having me over - our chat really helped too. I always enjoy spending time with you

Is finally ready to go and see Dawnie Owen!

I want to be able to cope. I want to prove to myself more than anything that I can. I just feel so sad, and I don't want to be sad - I want to be able to smile fondly and look forward.

I'm forever sitting on my feet and giving myself pins and needles. Don't know why I do it, it's just that sitting on my feet feels comforting for some reason!

I wish I could do something right in the eyes of a certain important person in my life, instead of being told how I'm doing everything wrong, and how I need to change everything, and everything being my fault! I think it would kill her to say she's proud of me!

There has just been 2 almighty claps of thunder - I hate thunder!!

Still fragile, but doing so much better! Haven't cried at all today, and actually have managed to laugh and smile at times. It's amazing what some positive words and a shift in thinking can achieve!

Morniing plan = unpack, get washing on, have a shower. Afternoon plan = update penguin book, update skills logs, do some drawing and see Robert Mann. keeping busy, but in a chilled way

I have to try and keep being positive so I've got rid of the last status update because quite frankly there is nothing wrong with me as I am, and I should not have to 'learn to act normal', and yes life can be a ######, but I can fight back!