Hi everyone,
I'm not sure where I should start really so please excuse my confused ramblings.
I've always suspected I was out of synch with the rest of the world - half a step out and jarring against everyone else really. I've had lots of times where I've misunderstood something, or missed a "cue" which has resulted in a falling out or an argument - usually leaving me very confused as to what has happened. But last weekend something major happened with my sister which has spurred me into action.
I read up on some stuff on Aspergers, which I've suspected for a long time that I have (I am 39, have a BSc (Hons) in psychology so I have a bit of knowledge on the subject). I did the Baron-Cohen AQ and EQ tests and came out at 44 and 6 respectively (80% of Aspergers score 34 or above, and 30 or below respectively) so I am well within the limits (my husband did the AQ too and scored 14, highlighting the differences between us). I've obviously done a lot of reading up on AS and I felt this huge wave of relief wash over me when I read the AS stuff on the NAS website - it was like finally something made sense!!! My husband also agrees that a lot of the AS stuff explains a lot of my behaviour.
I feel I really need an official diagnosis, so I am seeing a psychiatrist privately on Tuesday to hopefully get one. I feel it will help me, and more importantly, my family understand me a bit more. Especially as I've never really fully explained all the difficulties and stresses I feel with day-to-day life.
But now I'm worrying that it might not be AS. What if it's not? What then? It has just clicked with me so much and I felt relief and euphoria last weekend when I did the tests and thought I'd finally sussed myself out. But what if the psychiatrist on Tuesday says it's not that. I'm not sure what I'll do.
I know that no-one can really help with this as such, but maybe someone can relate to my fears and worries and offer some advice? I'd really appreciate it.
