Sherbet

I am very much in two minds about it - not sure what to do.... Maybe it would be better to follow the NHS route and just make the school aware in advance and see if we can put anything in place with regards to support for when he starts. However i am unsure what support schools can give children that are on the AS, i need to look into this and find out

I will - thank you

Great ideas - thank you Being on here is definitely given me a better understanding of it all..... Free time and space are very important to my son (as long as he knows i am in the background he is happy) Maybe i should buy some of those finger tooth brushes, so days when i know are on 'go slow' then i could miss out bits i.e brushing his teeth at home and do it on the way to school in the car, he might find it fun. We did have an organic diet for a few years, but as he has got older i have relaxed it as he wants what his friends eat.... he now has school dinners and loves it - this makes him happy and feels more in than out (if that makes sense) Thank you for your ideas and advice, it is very much appreciated and it gives me a better understanding on how he is feeling inside

Thank you Yes he does, they change all the time.... Sometimes they last a few months others years. I have never looked at it that way and realise that I am adding to his frustration by limiting his time he can spend on his obsessions..... It's difficult because at times you feel putting a time limit on his current obsession would help him do other things but I know he isn't happy when not doing what he wants to do. In some ways routine is good as he knows what is expected of him (I.e the morning routine before school) but if he doesn't want to do it he won't. Brushing teeth can be a nightmare, at times a 2 Minute job can take half an hour, he just sits there looking at his toothbrush... I have tried all sorts to get him moving, games, money etc but he isn't motivated by things like that. Then rushing him causes anger.... S.

My son is 11 and all the way through school is has been on the SEN list and is currently 2 years behind at school - for many reasons (lack of support and acknowledgment, friends, 13 teachers in 6 years blar blar) we decided to move him school (big risk i know especially in year 6, but its a risk we are pleased we took) Within 6 weeks at being in the new school they made us aware they felt he was on the AS. It shouldn't of really been such a shock as there are many signs (I always thought it was ADD etc) but it was/is. We have been to see the paediatrician a few times and they have requested a longer appointment so they can spend more time with him (he holds eye contact, however its clear he feels uncomfortable doing so) The school, Ed Phyc etc are all in agreements that they feel he is on the AS...... My problem is we move to secondary school in September and ideally would like to have it all sorted for then, to get the support he needs in place..... I have been told the next double appointment is not available till May/June which seems to far away. One of the lady's who come round to give advice etc suggested i might want to look at going private to get the answers my son and i need. Has anyone done this, would recommend taking this route etc? Not sure where to go from here......

Thank you

Thank you for all your messages - i really appreciate all the supporting comments. I know my son feels at times no one understands him, i nag at him, i talk to much, and like you said SA being told everything...... when he is feeling low I cannot rush my son as he will get cross, however getting ready for school in the morning can be a nightmare, when his time is up on the computer, its a nightmare and at times i feel we are all on eggshells as we know he could turn at any moment. My son is an amazing boy but over these last 6 months he seems to be on edge more so - he seems happy with his friends, oblivious to the fact he is struggling academically, we are very close and when 'he chooses' we talk about how he is feeling, school, girls etc. Its just that he gets frustrated quicker with lots of things.

Thanks for your comments - i have pulled some good ideas from it, we will definitely look at venting aggression even when not feeling aggressive as then he might not feel so silly in doing it (i have said scream into a pillow and he feels silly doing it, doing it regular might help) We have bought a punch bag recently so hopefully this might encourage him to use it when feeling frustrated. We tried kick boxing for a year, but he could never concentrate and become very dishearten when everyone around him achieved new belts - in the end he decided it wasn't what he wanted to do - but worth a try.

Thank you for messaging me - i feel i have lots of questions i want to ask, as at times i have felt very alone with these outburst we have, i have tried many different ways to try and calm my son down and at times its better for him just to run its cause. We have always followed the guidance to ADHD (my son has ADD), routine routine routine and it works well, however the emotional side of things seem to be our difficulty at the moment. For example play ground banter - if someone says 'your an idiot' he takes it literal, he goes over and over it in his head and by the time he gets home he bursts with anger and frustration and then we have a melt down - he feels 'no one likes me, i am the worst boy in the school, i have no friends' however it was playground banter and no one else has took a second thought to it. Have you ever had issues like this? We are the same with computers, if allowed he would stay on it all day (this makes him very frustrated and angry) so we limit it and he excepts that (most of the time) Luckily for us he is also into his bike so we try and go out as much as possible when we see the warning signs and i feel it takes his mind off of things. Have you always had to bring your son home at dinner time from school or is this since moving to a bigger school? Our paediatrician has suggested wearing earphones in the playground to take away some of the noise, which we look at trying out when we go back. Happy New Year S.

Thanks Trekster, i have never heard of SPD so i will be doing research into that - It is all very new to me and if there is anyway i can support my son i will, it also gives me a better understanding. Thank you and happy New Year!

Hi All I am new to all of this and after reading some of the news feeds and feel i have made a very positive move. My son is 11 and since birth i just new something didn’t quite fit (not quite sure how else to put it) however we are now 11 and been taken seriously..... after moving to a new school and having a private tutor to help with his SEN they both feel my son has ASD. We have had a few meetings with the paediatrician etc and it looks like we are looking at ASD, ADD, ANXIETY and SENSORY issues - From early on we have ran life very routinely which helps, but what we struggle most of all with is the frustration levels and then the anger and that’s why i am here - hopefully to pick up some ideas on how its best to deal with these. My son seems like he can take it all in his stride from the outside, but on the inside his problems and anxieties are erupting. I feel he waits until he is in a safe place before he expresses them (not the way i wont him too) - i also have to bare in mind we are heading to the hormonal time of life to, with puberty just around the corner. When the red mist comes he shouts and bangs around, if one of us is in his way he pushes or throws things at you. We try and leave him to calm down but he follows you around the house with his anger and i dont know how to help him learn to try and calm himself down by using other things. I have tried the calming down posters, stress balls, his guitar, his own space, screaming into a pillow but he seems to have to climb to the top of the hill before he starts to calm down - if that makes sense! This only happens when we have missed the warning signs or change happens that he doesnt like. Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated Many thanks S.

Hi All Just thought i would say hello to you all. I am new to all of this and after reading some of the news feeds and feel i have made a very positive move. My son is 11 and since birth i just new something didn’t quite fit (not quite sure how else to put it) however we are now 11 and been taken seriously..... after moving to a new school and having a private tutor to help with his SEN they both feel my son has ASD. We have had a few meetings with the paediatrician etc and it looks like we are looking at ASD, ADD, ANXIETY and SENSORY issues - From early on we have ran life very routinely which helps, but what we struggle most of all with is the frustration levels and then the anger and that’s why i am here - hopefully to pick up some ideas on how its best to deal with these. My son seems like he can take it all in his stride from the outside, but on the inside his problems and anxieties are erupting. I feel he waits until he is in a safe place before he expresses them (not the way i wont him too) - i also have to bare in mind we are heading to the hormonal time of life to, with puberty just around the corner. Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated Many thanks S.