FLEUR

hi, sorry for not replying sooner-had a hell of a day yesterday! great fun at a friends house,came home & he knocked an ornament over & broke it, i explained it was fine & he wasnt to blame, but all hell broke loose for a good couple of hours! realy cant get my head round why he behaved like that especialy as i was totlay ok about it? regards his anger, he doesnt have any violent games or tv to watch- he plays Fifa or skylanders & tends to watch age appropriate stuff on tv- ive always been realy strict about that as i find it quite disturbing that people would want to play at killing or hurting people! i agree that i need to try & get some sort of timetable or stricter routine going on at home, i just find it hard trying to get him involved & stick to things. hes got a pretty low boredom threshold :-( is there a good place where i can buy charts etc that would be suitable & adabtable for him? any suggestion would be great. at the moment he has seen the ed psych a handfull of times, but im pushing for more help from somewhere, anywhere .camhs signed us off for good as a pre assesment team have taken their place & they are who have refered for an assesment, the ed psych is through them to initialy help us deal with him, but is now dealing direct with him as we said it is him that needs the help more at the moment.

thanks for the replys everyone. right.. ive spent the last day looking for triggers towards his behaviour, so far they seem to be getting ready to leave the house to go anywhere -unless it is somewhere that he wants to go. being around his sister is another major factor & looking at it it seems to stem from he cant control her & get her to play the way he wants her to-he will give her a verbal script of what he wants her to say or do.most of his games revolve around either killing games,wrestling,or being a baby. he doesnt realy play with toys anymore & its becoming increasingly difficult to find things that he wants to do to occupy him- unless its on the computer. he detests the park & "normal" things other kids enjoy -if we go he is very stressed & makes life hell for us while we are there. any 1 on 1 situations are great though. he seems to enjoy being angry & i can see sometimes that he goes looking for trouble. he shows no remorse after hurting us, often saying he wishes his sister was dead & that he would kill her if he had he guts- i dont think he actualy means this as when out shopping without her he will often comment that she would like this or that. at the moment he is seeing an ed psych to try and help with the anger & to work on feelings etc. we were being seen by camhs over a year ago but they finished with us as they said they had reached as far as they could with him & with him being on the assesment waiting list we were better dealing with them instead. so untill assesment we are in limbo, not knowing if it is aspergers or that & something else. we try to use only positive words with him & praise calmness & nice behaviour- this works ok for a week or so at a time, then he says he doesnt realy care what we think. he does have quite a neggative outlook on things- often telling me that everything he does is rubbish,no one likes him etc.-depression maybe?? the only medication he is on is melatonin as we had trouble with him not getting to sleep till 10.30pm-he used to say sleep is boring & i dont see the point in it. he finds pretty much everything annoying- and if something annoys him it makes him angry! he gets easily frustrated & ive put alot of that down to lack of skills in certain areas- emotions & understanding being the big ones. we also seem to have conflict over being in control, he basicaly sees himself as a mini adult & thinks he has the right of adults and will often try to tell me what & how to do things or to try and take charge of disciplining his sister! so basical ive got a very,very confused 8 yr old- i will look at the emotion cards,they may well be very usefull & also the book Incredible Years by Webster Stratton. at the moment my head is spinning with all the reading ive been doing, trying to suss out the best way to handle him-roll on a diagnosis ,then atleast i will know what it is im supposed to be helping! ;-) x

hi all im new here, i have 2 kids 1 son who is almost 9 & awaiting an assessment for aspergers, and a 4 yr old girl. hopefully the assesment will happen soon-been waiting nearly 2 years. he has a very jeckyl & hide personality. the main problem we have at the moment is him hitting, punching & kicking- generaly aimed at his sister ( on a daily basis), but will also wallop me & his dad. 2 nites ago he punched his dad in the stomach when he came home from work,no reason for it ,dad told him to stop as it hurt but he did it another 2 times, then blamed his dad & me for annoying him! his little sister is terrified we are going to get hurt & ends up crying her eyes out over this. he doesnt care that he hurts any of us,blames us ,gets angry etc. talking to him about this only seems to anger him. ive made his room into a place where he can go and chill out if he needs to , but he is reluctant to go there- he has never liked spending time on his own in other rooms. he would rather hog the remote control and stay downstairs. how do other parents cope with their kids who are aggressive? any good stratergies would be appreciated.