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Echo

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Posts posted by Echo

  1. Posted · Report reply

    Yesterday, I offered to take my parents dog (a lab) for a walk (as they were busy painting fences etc and the dog was doing everything he knows he is not supposed to do to get their attention). I don't live with my parents but I consider the dog to be mine too. I'm not allowed to have one where I'm living (which is silently tearing me apart) and I spend a lot of time with him as a result.

     

    My father is his master (I do nothing to undermine this as I think it is very important that the dog knows where he stands), he does whatever my father tells him to do.

    On the other hand, he doesn't want to know my mother unless she has food. She hardly tries with him. She thinks that he is an annoyance, despite being the one who wanted a dog in the first place and spends a lot of her time telling him off for no reason at all.

     

    With me, we are best friends, we wrestle, play ball, cuddle... I chose him from the litter, trained him to: sit, shake hands, hide his teeth, show his teeth (for dental inspection), heel, look before crossing the road, play dead, not to jump, when to bark, fetch, the names of over 120 toys...you get the picture.

     

    Anyway my father, without hesitation agreed to let me take the dog as far as I wanted to go (as long as I returned within the next hour as it was the dogs routine to have his dinner around that time). My mother however, insisted that I only took him up to the bus stop and back (which is less than 100 meters - there and back from their house). I agreed to take him a little further (not much) to where he usually does his big business in case he needed to - because there is a bin across the road from his usual spot. Both parents agreed.

     

    So, I set off, saying hi to all the sunbathers and gardeners out in their front gardens along the way (there are 21 hoses in the street where I grew up - that's how small the area is). At the top of the road, a family friend stopped for a brief chat and off I went again.

     

    I loved every second of the walk, there we no problems at all, it was extremely relaxing seeing him having say hello to his fellow canine friends etc... It was one of the best few moments of my life (a little dramatic maybe :) ).

     

    Less than 3 minutes after leaving the house, I was walking back towards the top of the small street mentioned, when my father appeared and took the dog from me - marching both me and the dog back home.

     

    The guy at the top of the street whom I had spoken to moments before remarked; "don't you trust her?"

    And that's how I feel now: untrustworthy, embarrassed, confused, frustrated and angry.

    All those people in the street were watching as I was marched back to the house as if I was a naughty child who had stolen their dog.

     

    This was all my mother's doing - she forced my father after me as she couldn't see me at the bus stop - even after explaining to her where I was going and gaining her agreement - she said this was in case the other dogs in the street attacked me. What ????????? There are no other dogs in the street! And why watch me every step of the way? A bit excessive?

     

    Without making a big deal of anything (biting my tongue and agreeing with her), I returned home as normal (every Sunday same routine).

     

    Now I'm sat here spinning my thoughts. Why would she not say anything before I left the house? Why, since I was 6 years old would she let me walk the other dog that we had many years ago anywhere I wanted to go without a second thought? Not one incident occurred during that time either...

     

    Little children around the estate are taking their dogs for walks (large and small terriers). Why am I suddenly not allowed to when they have let fairly new acquaintances take the dog for the whole day? They even let my 13 year old nephew take him out for much longer than that alone! And he is very nervous of dogs!

     

    I'm 28 years old, strong enough to handle a dog, know his routine inside out (where he goes, turns, which dogs he knows and doesn't)... a good point to note here is: they do not know about my dyslexia, ADHD or possible Aspergers (as far as my mother is concerned - "there's nothing wrong with my kids!" - Even if I did tell them, they wouldn't believe me as I have excelled in everything I do without anybody's help - true to say I look and perform completely normal as far as other people are concerned - and they have trusted me with everything up to this point and I haven't done anything to change this (trust me; they would have said - my mother would never let it go if I had).

     

    I may dress like a teenager, but I am a fully developed adult! Despite the fact that I have to produce ID to shop assistants who are much younger than me when I want to buy baccy. Grrr!

     

    So anyway - without knowing what she has just done - I feel as if I am looked upon as incompetent and spoken to as a child - even the babies of the family (gran-children etc are given more responsibility than me)...my confidence has been shattered and I can't talk to them about it because although I love my mother, she can be ignorant, loud and over the top and no matter how my father feels, it's my mother's way or no way.

     

     

    Any thoughts or advice is very much appreciated :)

     

    Thanks

     

     

     

  2. Posted · Edited by trekster · Report reply

    Same here - can't wait for Thor 2 to come out :)

     

    Too right - Batman has the best villains ever!

    However, I hate the way Bane was portrayed in the last film (his voice is too comical for me to take anything he says seriously).

     

    In regards to Buffy, I can't really choose a favourite episode. But, I have to say that "Normal Again" and "Hush" are in my top 5.

     

    Justice League - I hope they do it justice XD lol

    I know, Bane's voice makes him sound like; 1. he's a polite Englishman and 2. he's Darth Vader =D

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Ellie and welcome :)

     

    I love superheros too! Batman is my favourite however, I also really enjoy X-Men, the Avengers (Hulk), fantastic 4...

     

    Do you like things like: Fringe, X-files, 4400, Heroes, Warehouse 13, Buffy etc too?

     

    K

  5. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Skaro7,

     

    I tend to externalize internal thoughts too. Everyone I've met with ASD so far, have also reported: that they do this as well.

     

    As I am still in the learning process (in regards to ASD's), I can't tell you with absolute certainty that it's an Aspie thing.

     

    When I was in school (studying psychology), it was pointed out to me by the teacher that this type of behaviour is completely natural - a part of everyone's - cognitive process.

     

    It will be interesting to see what others' thoughts are on this topic :)

  8. Posted · Report reply

    I am absolutely terrified of escalators!!! The ones going up are easier to navigate (it takes me a while and I mean a while to psyche myself up to go on one), however, I'll only enter the shops if they have a lift or a set of stairs as an alternate route back out/down. Shopping trips in cities with me are a nightmare when almost all the shops we want to go to are up the escalators :( This has been a lifetime thing, as a child I'd meltdown at the thought of going to a shop that had one.

  9. Posted · Report reply

    Hi AmyPond,

     

    I received my initial assessment yesterday morning and it wasn't as daunting as I thought it would be.

     

    I had seen this doctor before (in regards to A.D.H.D), so he already knew about some of the traits I posses (and my medical/developmental history).

     

    Although he didn't know much about ASD's, he was willing to learn about the differences between male and female traits etc...

     

    We talked for a while (he was very friendly - was willing to listen to my partner, ask him questions etc), then he said that he had no reason (seeing as I had scored highly in the past for A.D.H.D and had brought my Dyslexia report and AQ/Aspie test scores... with me) to test me at all in any way (as everything to him seemed to tie in together).

     

    So, my next step is waiting for my diagnostic assessment(s) date(s).

     

    It was a good experience.

     

    He told me that instead of one big test, what is going to happen is; the psychologist he is referring me to is going to do it over multiple sessions in a center less than 3 miles from where I live.

     

    Anyone done a diagnostic over multiple sessions before? If so, can you give me a rough idea of what it might entail?

     

     

    Best of luck Amy

  10. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Emma, when I went to talk with my doctor, I took a list of traits that I posses with me and explained to him how this had a detrimental effect on my day to day life.

    That's the only advice that I can give you at the present time. Please keep me posted on how it goes. I'm awaiting my appointment with the second stage of assessment at the mo (initial). Hopefully, I'll be sent for a DX(diagnostic) soon.

  12. Posted · Report reply

    Hi guys and girls,

     

    As time goes by, my situation at home is dramatically deteriorating.

     

    Both my partner and I have recently lost our jobs (self-employment is not going well either due to the economic climate and living in one of the poorest areas around Wales).

     

    All of our skills and qualifications are in our specialist interest areas (music/digital media/creative industries)... we are running out of our savings (in fact, well into our overdrafts), are not on working tax credit and it seems that there are no jobs out there which I can do at all! So, the only option I have at the moment is going on the DOLE :(

     

    Now, I understand that if I go on the Dole/JSA etc... when they offer me a job, I have no option but to take it (even if it means working in a supermarket or a cleaning company...). IT'S NOT THAT I WON'T DO THAT! I CAN'T DO THAT!!! The people, smells, noise, light etc...would be way too much for me to handle (I also have a severe skin condition and can't go anywhere near bleach etc) . I'll end up either having a meltdown, becoming really ill, walking out or being fired. If I do that, they will not allow me to go back on benefits (even though I don't particularly want to go anywhere near benefits IF i can help it - in the first place). So, I won't be able to have the necessary resources to sustain any kind of healthy life.

     

    I am currently on a part-time degree course at the moment and will have to give that up if I have to have a part time job even, because there is no way I'll be able to handle the over stimulation of doing these two things at once.

    My partner, music and degree are the only things left in my life that keep me (partially)sane.

     

    I do not currently hold a AS diagnosis, but am waiting for my referral appointment to come through. How do I explain to them that I cannot take certain jobs on or that I can't do two things at once? Especially without a diagnosis (or even a degree of understanding of

    he syndrome/process etc... on their part).

     

    Anyone out there with any other ideas on what I should do?

     

    Thanks

  20. Posted · Report reply

    What have you done differently over the time that you feel yukky? Is there anything new in your house that may make you feel uncomfortable etc...?

     

    I'm trying my best to ignore and get used to the new bulb that I have in the living room (it is really annoying me as it is leaving a half crescent shadow over the telly - my other half doesn't seem effected in anyway, but I can't stop looking at it as the room has been fully lit for the past ten years!).

     

    What techniques have you used in the past to chill-out/ relax?

  21. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Bob,

     

    It was about two/three weeks before I told anyone about how I was screened and initially assessed for AS.

     

    At first this information scared me, but more I began to read about it, the more I understood the person that I am. From this, I made the choice of telling those closest to me (deducing that if it helped me to understand myself, then it would also help others to understand me - when to offer help, what to do when...etc).

     

    What I did make clear to all of those who I've told is; don't treat me any differently than you would treat anyone else (or have treated me before), I am still the same person I was last week; just to approach certain situations that I find myself in with more understanding from now on (I have asked them to read more about it - educate themselves -understand the behaviour - how to spot a possible meltdown (what sort - temper or depression) and preempt it...etc). Essentially, how to help me when I can't seem to ask for it.

     

    I too hate the thought of anyone talking to me like a toddler -It's patronising, especially when you know that most of the time your brain is working faster than theirs!!! (well, on certain things anyway :) ).

     

    Like I have said; I have told parents, my partner and my closest two friends (no-one else). I have used their reactions and behaviour to gague how I feel about telling other people. For now I've decided to add other Aspies/ASD's and college Tutors to this list. Once I receive my clinical diagnosis, I may become more open about it (see what happens). So, what I'm doing is basically; taking baby steps.

     

    Mostly it's a very positive reaction. The only niggling issue that I have is; people keep asking me if I'm o.k (tutors mainly - this happens every 15 mins or so)! - I'm going to have to address this with them asap. I don't see it being too big of a problem after talking to them.

     

    Ultimately it is your decision to make, I don't want to push you either way.

     

    Good luck,

     

    K

  22. Posted · Report reply

    Same here too!

     

    I think it's more of a Dyslexic trait than an Aspie trait (as trekster mentioned above) - difficulties with the STM...etc

     

    However, although I do loose track of what I'm saying 70% of the time when I'm interrupted, the other 30% of the time (when I haven't forgotten what I was talking about completely), I have to start from the beginning of what I'm saying (effectively saying the same thing again in the exact same order to regain/maintain my flow - or else I feel that what I'm saying doesn't make any sense).

     

    This I believe is more of an Aspie trait - correct me if I'm wrong (I'm new to this).

  23. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Bob, welcome to the forum. I'm fairly new here too.

     

    I know the feeling - relieved, yet; scared (to some degree).

     

    Although I have not received my diagnosis yet, the literature I've read rings so true to me that I can't quite believe it.

     

    It has answered so many questions (as well as highlighting some new ones) that I'm starting to feel 100% more confident in coming to terms that I have a form of Autism (and more confident/comfortable in myself).

     

    I really do hope that the relief for you will start to outweigh the scary :)

     

    Best of luck

  24. Posted · Report reply

    Received these through the post yesterday;

     

    'Aspergirls' and '22 Things a Woman with Asperger's wants her Partner to Know' Rudy Simone.

     

    It took roughly 2 hrs to read 22 things...and it was brilliant. Like a how to manual on me :) (although I thought that about 10-15% of it described other people - just goes to prove that we aren't all the same).

     

    Now I'm about half way through 'Aspergirls' - I almost cried. So many, if not all the stories/descriptions ring true.

     

    I just thought that I was a little different and that other people's opinions of me didn't count as I did not follow their social code/mindset nor did they know or try to understand me (of course, I couldn't explain to them either - now I think I can - "Here you go...read this book").

     

    I thought that what all that I did/said (do/say) etc... was/is wrong - but I couldn't change that (a failed individual).

    Now I know that these are all traits that I share with a very exclusive group of people who are extraordinary in their own ways.

     

    Next step is utilizing the tips and information that I have in a constructive way - helping me to help myself, helping my family to understand what's going on etc... Awesome.

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