Paul1234

Hello Everybody. Thought I'd pop in again after several months of trying not to waste my life away on the internet http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-28746359 Interesting and frustrating and lots of things. Lots of things missing and a few welcome points. Meltdowns : I've had these but very rarely. One surprised me a couple of years ago, it was like I wasn't there, on autopilot. I didn't know they were common/typical of asd. Hey that means it wasn't my fault lol... I'd hate to have another one though. I think this is because the differences are not just in the conscious mind or even emotional IQ etc.. that "screw loose" also applies to the way the body (brain) reacts to things including illnesses. I remember someone very close to me having the most ridiculous reactions to almost any illness, drug or change.. she was definitely in the asd club. I see similar thing in the way my body reacts, but having this knowledge, kind of empowers me to ignore it I suppose and just go with the flow. I was going to say its a shame the author doesn't have aspergers or they would have written something different. However at the bottom it says they do have it Although I'm glad articles like this one pop up occasionally as it helps people understand it.

Well done DM.. great news. I think running a business is absolutely the right thing to do for many aspie-esque people. You don't have some twerp bossing you around, you can make sure you have the right tools for the job, and you can use your supertalents to make the business a success.. I'd never go back (hopefully )

Mummy2astar : I would not make any assumptions about your boy's future and neither should anyone else. When I was in school lots of people thought I was "thick", including my brother who was a year older. He wondered if I belonged in the "remedial class" - thanks bud. I slowly improved and got a handful of B's and C's at "O level". then at "A level" - 3 straight "A" grades and two distinctions at S level - looks like I found my feet ! I'm not saying this to show off but I'm saying the pathway to success can be surprising and unexpected in terms of magnitude and timing. All you can do is help him find the things that float his boat by opening lots of doors, and from there he will do the rest for himself To say his imagination may never develop, well it might not, but it might !! in a way I was kind of uncomfortable about that sentence. I remember when I was about 14 there was a kids program on at tea time about a boy who was a supergenius at maths and nuclear physics, I was so inspired by that, I told myself at the time, this is the most important program I've even seen - for me. I was right. By A level age I was working out problems like schrodingers equation and learning all about nuclear physics and quantum mechanics - I'd be in my bedroom until 11pm sometimes and my dad had to peel me off my desk. So please keep an open mind for him (I;m sure you would have anyway !) Styks: Interesting to note that you have a reduction some of these talents as you've got older? Is it due to a reduction in motivation or a reduction in the hearing frequency range? Which of course is natural. Or something else I wonder? Well I never could be a "supercoder" "on demand" - it had to be inspired and driven by the challenge. The name of the game these days is waking up the conditions that brought that about in the past. I think I have one coming up I'm just designing it out, and trying to get lots of inspiration by doing lots of studying. But I've had an illness for the past 5 years which severely affects concentration/brain function (it blew my life to pieces, but the important pieces are still there, like I'm still married to the same girl , same kids, "job" etc) . So I'm slowly breaking out of that at the same time as I'm getting new strengths from understanding about asd/nvld. (I feel its working, but you can't change stuff like that overnight, it has to come naturally over time.) The fact its been less apparent/accessible over time could be down to circumstances - being a parent, lots of responsibility, unable to take so many risks, the nature of projects that are available. And despite the realities that old techies become managers - thats probably age + brain facility related - I'm not prepared to submit to old age any time soon - I want my 20's brain back, working on it (dogged determination already kicked in here) I don't suffer severe mood swings as you describe - some history of depression etc but I've never had it really bad or needed meds. I have the potential for a bad temper, but never really a problem as such. Same wife for many years helps all the arguments are done with apart from the ones that arent. And I'm hideously objective and reasonable if a bit optimistic when it suits me. I'm even prepared to admit I'm wrong, sometimes lol ! Great to connect with everyone on here. I'll try to check in more often.

if you have enough money (just under a grand should do it) - I would recommend Sharon Lloyd at learning insights in bristol. If you go NHS you might end up with a wrong diagnosis in my view.

Its difficult to answer objectively because I think the moment you start listing off your talents and achievements etc you feel like you're showing off - or at least, there's a sense of that element. But hell I like this forum so here goes: Years ago I was a performing classical musician, at quite a high standard, but I had to give up because of preconcert nerves. I could tell you any note on a piano when I was 12 just from the sound. Lost that now. I still play for pleasure, but without any improvement its difficult to stay motivated I'm very gifted at maths and computer programming - I've been called a "supercoder" in the past. When motivated and with all the right kit and knowledge, I can write systems in a few days that could take a team of 10 many weeks. Its hard to replicate that on demand though, and I see it less as I get older, but I still see the spark sometimes. I can remember writing 1000 lines of C++ code per day for several weeks consecutively, and it went straight to production and stayed there no problems. They wanted to employ me for longer to support it ! nothing to do except throw data at it, so I left (and that was without the internet to help me write it) I was a national junior champ at my sport. A lot of hard work went into that. Going through early life without any understanding of why I was different was tough. Devastating at times. And that made me tough I think. But not tough on the outside, just inside. I think that helped me have the resilience needed to achieve these things. And also the aspie/nvld kind of traits give you that one track minded determination and obsession needed to succeed at things - that sheer level of hard work. I hope you all can also break free and just post all your supertalents.. go on... its really interesting to me

Some answers brewing. But the one thing I like about a diagnosis, whether home grown or official, is ... ITS NOT MY FAULT !! that changes things, everything, in a very nice way. More to come soon oooh and the self kick, it semi-worked did some good stuff friday, but didn't wake up Saturday morning brimming with ideas and motivation - thats how I like it ! Back into it today now.. nah lets get a coffee first, then check facebook, then.. no no no.

I seem to become zombified when I'm not interested in something, so if I want to be productive in work I need to get interested in what I'm doing. Often that means time away from the desk drawing diagrams and scribbling out ideas on paper etc, then get to the desk and challenge myself with how quickly or well I can implement them. I can often light a spark that way and get motivated. But not always. Actually I've been pretty zombified since christmas. Its funny how coming on here I can easily state some of the things I do to fix it, and yet there can be days and days when I don't do that - I almost need to look in from outside, see the bigger picture, and give myself a kick. <virtual self-kick administered /> I'll let u know if that works tomorrow I think I spent more time today reading forums and playing chess than I did working, thats got to stop ! Sport is really good for me, although too much of it also leads to yet more brain zombification ! But yes being in good shape is definitely a plus for making you feel good in social situations, but the amount of life you have to give away to maintain that is a lot of course, so I imagine, its not for everyone Sensitive ? yep me too

Hi Guys, This is the only website I can find so far that gives a decent run down of what NVLD is. http://www.nldontheweb.org/nldentrylevelreading/nvldanemergingprofile.html (IOW is just an internet thing - "in other words".) NVLD has much in common with ASD Socially I'm often hopeless, like I'll forget what the point of the conversation was since the time I started talking !! arrrrgh (small example, lots more). but actually there have been odd times when I've been able to get on ok socially, so I've been looking back and working out what was different between now and then. I think years of parenthood and running a business under a lot of pressure to keep going even when my brain is not interested, and in the last few years a difficult illness too - all that and the rest of life can make you perpetually tired and I think tiredness is when the ASD-like tendencies seem to show up most. Well its not the only part of the equation but I think it counts for a lot. And the brain doesn't always differentiate between mental tiredness and physical tiredness which can make things more confusing ! I do quite a bit of sport so I have to keep the whole tiredness thing in check otherwise I'm really zombified, but I think the sport keeps some of the monsters at bay and I seem to skislope into depression when I stop so lets just keep it going ! But I really think that simplifies things down waay too much, and there can be a huge amount of detail and years of work to build these things. For now I'm mapping out things like confidence, health, motivation, diet, outside interests, getting life straight so I'm not tired, some things to "go for", and how can I do all that and still be me!?.. I think the answer is to leverage the things I'm good at and the things I like doing.. work in progress I'll definitely post some progression updates here

Thanks cookiemonster. (why can't I think of cool names like that when I join forums ?!) I think I'm NVLD more that ASD now, but some literature seems to suggest that the diagnostic process is the only substantial difference and that most ASD's will also be NVLD's ! In other words the two overlap with more people in common than not. (I'm not 100% sure on that so comments welcome !).. So the other difference is I suppose that means I'm a bit more social that the average ASD, but I can assure you I could live in a cave and never see a human again and I would be happy enough! IOW - I'm not that social at all, just enough to hold a family together although the misses is always on that I never want to go out ! yes dear, I'll take you to the pub tomorrow.. seems to work ! But seriously the problems I have faced and to an extent learned to live with and deal with, are similar to asd for sure, so I'm not sure an accurate diagnosis is relevant. I don't particularly wish to dwell on the problems (I'm very grateful for the talents that come with it!), but I would like to up my social confidence a bit and not feel like a dork after everytime I talk to someone that I don't instinctively like !! For the moment I've been thinking back to my "consultant" days when I suddenly became able to do job interviews and speak with confidence (I had so many embarrasing interviews in my early 20's) - I did a lot of work back then before I'd ever heard of aspergers or nvld, to increase my confidence, to practice talking to people, and that included going out to get more qualifications and the mensa thingy I mentioned also helped there - it was as if I was prearmed for the task so I could go into an interview with confidence. With hindsight it seems like career suicide to pack in a 7 year stable job to go and do contracting, but it was the best thing I ever did. I remember once they asked me in an interview - "why have you done no courses recently ? we'd expect you to be keeping up with technology." my answer - I try to work one to two hours each evening during the week on working with the latest technology, so I am one of the first to know this stuff and I am one of the few giving those courses, not sitting in them. I got the job ! And that was how I got through it - by becoming very good and very confident at the technical side of things, I could get through interviews and I could take on a role as a mentor, lecturer, and techie. Lesson learnt ! Anyway thats getting a bit deep but as a strategy here, I'm convinced that all the answers I need are there for me to think through and work out myself - I don't want to sit in front of a psychologist because it would take huge amounts of digging and as a verbal communicator I'm really useless at getting points across, its like I can talk but the rest of my brain goes into panic mode or simply doesn't recall whats really important (- I don't get that problem when I write). The number of times I've walked away from a conversation (even visiting a gp) and forgotten about half the stuff I wanted or needed to cover ! grrr So, thats what I'm up to - going back and finding those bits that worked in the past, and seeing if I can give myself a kick to get back there.

Replies are good ! -- thank you Brooke please don't apologise !! I did wonder if anyone else on here also felt that a formal diagnosis was not necessary or helpful. I suppose I could do the wechsler tests self administered.. I think learning how to interpret the results would in itself be a good education. But when something like this is as obvious as a broken leg, do I really need a diagnosis !!??? But the main thing for me is to learn about strategies that others use. I'm not sure a formal diagnosis would make any difference there either

Hello All, Been reading through this forum and I am finding it very useful. Lots more reading to do before I start posting questions though but its hugely exciting for me to have a resource like this available. I can't say I'm 100% an aspie but getting 42 out of 50 on the AQ test and also this output from the RDOS test http://i.imgur.com/pMDFtTY.png pretty much confirms what I've suspected all my life, that I have a very much polarised IQ profile and a lot in common with Aspergers. And thats 45 years of social embarrasment, forgetfulness, putting my foot in it, not getting the joke, being oversensitive, being completely disorganised and incapable of doing very simple things even though I'm lucky to have been reasonably successful as a techie Anyway, since discovering these aspie tests (and also having my son diagnosed similarly last year (a 50 page diagnosis!)) I'm actually now quite excited about it .. why ? because now I've got some "handle" with which to find research papers, forums, articles, etc etc - even if I'm not a 100% aspie (is anyone?) I'm pretty sure that the strategies aspie people use would help me too. I'm probably too old to change much but this just seems like a voyage of discovery in that new doors are opened that could help me out. I'm still 50/50 on whether to get an official diagnosis.. having seen my son's write up it was like looking in the mirror. I did the mensa stuff aged 26 and got in, and I know I'm as daft as a brush socially as described above so I'm not yet convinced there's any need to "make it official". So I'll leave it there for now and I've got some serious reading to do ! But if anyone can point me to some good reads to get me started I'd be grateful thanks in advance Paul