Hello,
I am a new member in this forum and I joined with the primary intention of obtaining some advice regarding my own potential clinical position with regard to Aspergers.
I have sought counselling through the National Health Service for various psychological and personality defects. The style of counselling practiced by my cousellor is Transactional Analysis. By the analysis of my transactions he has identified the possibility that I may have Aspergers. He stated that, in his professional capacity, he was not at liberty nor was he motivated to offer a clinical diagnosis of the condition.
Certainly, the possibility that I may have Aspergers would explain many of the ongoing difficulties that I have experienced since childhood. These are summarised in the main below:
(1) I have always tended to take things that people say at face-value. Sustained conscious effort on my part is requried for me to appreciate the meaning behind many of the phrases that people use colloquially.
(2) I often find it difficult or even impossible to read facial expressions and body language. I do not intend to anger people or to make them feel nervous or disconcerted, but I inevitably do. I don't know why I anger people or make them feel nervous or disconcerted.
(3) I often don't know how to express my emotions. Furthermore, I often don't know how to identify my emotions. This makes me feel angry and it causes me to lash out at people, verbally. It would seem as if they don't understand why I do this.
(4) I enjoy higher mathematics, number theory and algorithmic analysis. I find these subject areas very natural, comforting and easy to explore. I feel angry and rejected when other people don't understand what I'm telling them about these subject areas when I chose to tell them about my exploits in these subject areas.
I have never considered the possibility that I may have Aspergers and, to be frank, I don't want to. I don't want to be different and eternally trapped inside my own head. I want to emerge and I cannot do so. Furthermore, were I to consult my GP and request a clinical diagnostic test for Aspergers, I fear that, should the test yield a positive result, the positive result would be recorded on my medical record and that such a positive result would legally preclude me from pursuing certain professional objectives. In addition, I feel that such a positive result would dehumanise me in the regard that I would simply become a clinical statistic.
Any advice with regard to this general problem will be cordially received.
JJ.
