millbeck

Hi Isobel, I think aspies definitely have a different way of grieving to NT's. My dog died two years ago and then my grandad died last November and my cat died this march. I found I didn't respond the same way anyone else seemed to and it bothered me as I thought I must have something wrong with me or be a really bad person as the death that bothered me most was my dog. The link mandapanda has put on is amazing and you should read it as it explained to me why I feel the way I do and you might find the same thing. I found that I was pretty slow to start grieving and that when I did I didn't even realise it. I was fine at first but then a month or so later I started having really bad nightmares and my autistic traits (especially sensory problems) were really bad and I couldn't understand why. I only realised it was grief after other people told me and even then I didn't realise how much of what I'm struggling with is actually just part of an aspies grieving process until I read mandapandas link. Try not to judge yourself by the way others grieve and just accept your way of grieving as as valid as anyone else's.

Thanks for replying. It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one who feels like this and I know your right and they probably wouldn't even recognise me but my self esteems so low I just feel I don't want to be around people who could make me feel even worse. Your husbands really lucky to have a wife who understands him like you. It's hard to find people who understand aspergers and how it makes generally stressful situations almost unbearable. My mums great and tries to understand why I don't like the idea of moving back but I know she wants to be there for my grandmother too so she's finding it hard at the minute. I think we'll end up moving back but I just needed to hear from people who understand why this is hard for me so thanks again for taking the time to reply.

I'm new to this forum and just wanted some opinions on my current situation from people who understand the aspergers perspective on life. I'm an adult living with my parents and we're trying to move house which is very stressful to anybody but especially to someone like me who finds change difficult. To make it worse my grandad died while the house was for sale and my grandmother now wants us to move near her (50 miles from where I live now). My mum really wants to move there but it's where I grew up and went to school and I hated it. I didn't know I had aspergers until years after I'd moved away and as a result of my "weirdness" I left school with no real friends but a lot of resentment and mutual dislike between me and the people I was at school with. The idea of going back and seeing them all again really makes me want to live anywhere but there but my family just see it as I'm being ridiculous and it was years ago. Can anyone else relate to not wanting to be around people from your past? I've learnt that certain things are and aren't exceptable and how to appear more "normal" but if I go back the people there know me from before so remember every odd and embarrassing thing I did so i can't just start fresh like I could if we moved somewhere else.