sylvia1111

My aspie partner lied for 10 years hiding secret women he was chasibg hoping to have a child . I thought that was all over . now he’s showed huge con artist deception skills to hide a woman platonic hiking buddy who fot one year he’s hidden from me Presenting himself as a single man Befriending a single woman HAVIng hours of long chats flirtation attention going on long drives long day trips /hikes secretly and spending months planning secret overseas trips and planning travelling together for weeks lying completely to me re where he was travelling hiking chatting and with who Hiding this other female platonic woman completely living with her in the sane hotel rooms but separate beds for weeks overseas I was so shocked and traumatised about being a sitting duck for so much deception secrets lies About another woman even if platonic if I don’t like hikes , then healthy couples do walks that both can enjoy sone men or women can’t walk much I can but their spouses don’t go running across the world with with secret friends of the opposite sex there's so much that is wrong about all this but he doesn’t understand at all the shock and trauma betrayal I’ve suffered in so many ways is enormous yet he thinks as long as he didn’t have sex with her he’s fine nothing wrong Presenting himself as a single man befriending a sibgke woman Enjoying the attebtion connecting chatting making huge plans over a years all secret even multiple secret overseas trips he wouldn’t even share his itinerary or tell me the day he was returning it’s such a terrible way to treat the woman he loves deeply abd APPArently his selfish self focused brain doesn’t understand what’s is obvious to everyone else of honoring the one on one relationship he has and how bad this is what he’s done deciding to give a hiking travelling roll to a sibgke soman and hiding it all from the loyal loving woman in his life Lying chatting plans day trips long drives if soending huge time secretly with the opposite sex planning overseas travel without me keeping me in the dark with so much cruel deception and instead secret travel with this other woman and lying deceiving me for a year now for so mich now that he has this single friend he won’t drop her he could have easily found male hiking buddies he won’t no one wants me to stay with such a selfish cruel deceptive liar

why cant he understand when i need quiet. he fights thinking its a personal rejection it can be when i'm stressed, sick, tired, concentrating on something eg driving ( i cant drive in peak hour traffic to somewhere new and listen, some people can, but i cant. ) when we go away for the weekend most motels or holiday homes have one tv, sometimes only one room, and i am very noise sensitive and he loves watching documentaries some of which just have endless talking which i find gives me headaches. some peole listen to music or watch other shows but he likes radio and tv that are documentaries with endless talking and the noise is just too much for me. I've had hard life and my health is worn down and i need quiet and i get physically ill,( headaches migraines tight muscles) from too much endless noise. I bought him the best cordless headphones so he can enjoy tv but i can sleep , rest , read, enjoy quiet even while away and sharing a small motel room, but he said it would take too long to set them up and he stormed out and returned home when i couldnt take the noise anymore after trying with earplugs and then with industrial headphones, and finally i couldnt take it and just turned off the tv as i just needed some quiet already. It was actually my holiday and he ruined it and left me very tense from all that loud noise of a particularly loud and stressful program he was watching. How can i help him understand when i need quiet. there are times that he needs quiet or feels ill and i do everything to help him. but he doesnt understand when i need quiet and he takes it as a personal rejection and makes such draining fights. how can i explain this so that he understands.