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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

Mike Stevens

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About Mike Stevens

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    Norfolk Broads
  1. My fiancé has a 19 year old boy who has Aspergers. I should rephrase that. On every site that lists the symptoms of Aspergers and the topic is behaviour, he displays 80% of the signs. On every site that lists the symptoms of Aspergers and the topic is Aspergers Syndrome Muscle Strength & Prevalence Of Hypotonia he displays 100% of the signs. On every site that lists the symptoms of Aspergers and the topic is Sensory Processing Disorder, he displays 90% of the signs. What I have found very little information on is the way he acts with his mom and to an extent with me. I will list these things in point form. He regularly calls down to his mom from his bedroom, in a very child like manner, mommy come give me a hug. Often if he is on the couch watching TV, he puts his arms out and says, both in avery child like manner, mommy come and lay with me. If is mom is sitting on a chair he literally crawls on top of her and hugs her, if he was 5 years old it may look normal, but at 6 ft tall 180 pounds to me if looks, well, wrong. He regularly approaches his mom from behind and puts his face beside hers and holds her, (in my opinion) the way a couple in love do. He regularly stands in front of his mom when he is talking to her and rubs his hands up and down her arms (in my opinion) the way a couple in love do. After meals he kisses his moms cheek and thanks her for dinner in a very babyish like voice and while doing so rubs his cheek against hers. I could go on and list more habits like this but I think you get the general idea. And again, all of the above habits "look like" he is acting like a child and the way he talks "sound like" a child. Me? At a theatre when he and I went to see that clown movie It, numerous times during the movie, at the scary parts, I would feel his hands wrapping around my arms and he put his face close to my chest. It felt real, sorry to say, creepy. To further this point to be clear, the only thing I care about when it comes to people is how people treat me and how people treat others. Gay, lesbian, Trans, red, blue, green, aliens with three heads, Ewoks, to me it makes no difference. But. In the theater that night had anyone looked, it would have looked like an man in his late fifties with his young gay lover in some sort of embrace. Maybe it shouldn't bother me as I know the truth, but it did. He tries to hug me but always in, again, a creepy loose arm feely kind of way. I back off when it happens and he always complains I won't hug him. Hugging I have no problem with, guy hugs, the way I hug my son or my brother or a buddy. Manly as it were. I have tried to hug him like that a few times and he backs away. Last time his mom's brother was here, (his uncle,) he said to him, wanna see how mom and I cuddle n the couch? He crawled in top of her and nestled his face in her chest, "like a baby". His uncle got creeped out, I saw it in his eyes and hi body language . Soon after he said to me,,,,and this is a man who never swares, "what the F&$K was that? Most importantly, I want to help this teen, get him to counselling, get him to therapy for Hypotonia. After getting him diagnosed of course. I am not a specialist or a doctor or anything like that, just someone who observes, a lot. . His mom is aware a lot of his behaviours and his immaturity is not normal, but has never come out and talked about it. Recently on Facebook there was a meme about Sheldon (Big Bang Theory) possibly having Aspergers. It was a list of ten reasons why he has it. After reading it his mom said, that sounds just like "the boys name". The more I understand about all this the easier it will be to talk to his mom and hopefully get him diagnosed. Maybe he doesn't have Aspergers. I could be way off. If anyone has experienced such things or knows anything about this baby like behaviour, or where I can read about it, please let me know. Thank you for your time
  2. A few final notes and I am saying this because in a few discussions with some friends, some of them jumped all over me. I heard everything from why are you so mean to it's none of your business to why do you care. The answer is this. I seek out the truth, information, listen to what others say because the more I know about such things the more I will (hopefully) be able to help. I am saying there is nothing mean spirited intended in my post here. Before, (due to my research) we learned the boy has Aspergers, I often wondered, why is he so selfish, why is he rude, why does he never shut up about history, why when people in the room with him tune out his rambling does he not get the signal to shut up. And from reading and talking. Now I know. Ciao Ciao
  3. Hi. I am new here. I have but one issue to discuss. My fiance's 19 year old son (5 ft 10, 200 pounds) is a great guy. I am "the" father figure in his life as well as good friend. He is a riot. Honour roll into University. Great sense of humour. He has most of the typical symptoms of Aspergers. What I would like some feeback on is this. He regularly crawls on his mom when she is lounging and kisses her on the face, sometimes on the lips. He also regularly comes down in his housecoat and hugs his mom kind of in the way a couple does. Kind of. He regularly kisses her arms and hands. He constantly nuzzles his face in her neck and kisses it. He often calls to his mom in the morning and asks his mom to come and give him a hug before he gets out of bed. He does so in a baby voice. I should have said this before. When he does these things he does it in a baby like voice. His mom thinks it's okay and hey, maybe it is. He has never been out on a date. Has no interest in doing so. I will say this. If he ever brought a date home and his date watched him crawl all over his mom I guarantee you his date would run for the hills. (Again I am not saying it is right or wrong). Recently his uncle visited and he said to his uncle, " wanna see how I snuggle with mom?" He then crawled on his uncle the way he crawls on his mom. Afterwards his uncle pulled me aside and expressed (in his words) "how creeped out he was by it". Is this a case of "not "getting" the social cues? As in he has no idea that right or wrong, this sort of behaviour is not cool or kosher as it were? I understand there are two issue here. One being the teenagers behaviour the other being his mom allowing it. I could have gone on with more examples but most of you probably get the gist of what I am asking. Any input would be much appreciated. Thank you in advance.
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