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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

Seabird50

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About Seabird50

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    Norfolk Broads
  1. Opinions on behaviour

    * I see that I have previously asked about this, I cant delete this post so please ignore. I am trying to understand my stepson's behaviour and attitudes in order to make things easier at home. His father and I are really struggling and feel we have done everything possible to help but have got nowhere. I feel that the opinions of people on the spectrum might be helpful. First the facts and history. Stepson in now 20, lives with us (but this is becoming untenable). I have been in his life since he was 8. The bio mother is not involved and has been very neglectful. He refuses to even speak to her now. He was diagnosed with PDD NOS at about age 6. He was always very verbal but was very bullying and aggressive in school and at home in order to get his way. Everything has to be on his terms or he gets aggressive. He was very difficult with food eating only certain things but we worked hard to improve this and have had some success with that at least. He steals and lies all the time. He is VERY manipulative. He has some paraphilic sexual behaviours (words of psychotherapist) He was initially in a special needs school but at age 16 went to a general intake technical school. This went well and he got his diploma in his chosen field (we are not in UK but I am from the UK). He has been under the care of a psychiatrist since age 8, check ups and consultations etc. Originally he was given Risperdol but it was not effective and he came off it after about 18 months. As he has aged his behaviours seem to not be subsiding but increasing. We now live with locked doors to protect ourselves and our belongings and I am afraid at night that he might enter our room and attack us so we lock ourselves in. I hate living like this. He has been working for the last 6 months but we have heard now that they intend to let him go. He cannot get along with the others there and does not learn or improve. This worries us a lot because i cannot be alone with him here every day if he cannot keep a job. I am afraid of him and frankly I am not physically well and would find it too stressfull. Sorry this is long. The opinions i would like to hear would be on the following attitude: He states that he sees no wrong in stealing, lying and his aggressive attitudes and bullying. He doesnt see them as that. When we try to talk to him about this he just wont answer us most of the time but if he does he lies or tries to manipulate. He has loads of money in his account but wants us to pay for things and he does this in a kind of passive aggressive way. He treats everyone as if they are there to be used and only wants them for anything he can get. He is not at all sociable ( considering his diagnosis then this is no surprise) but actually seems to hate people and is very nasty and resentful. He never EVER apologises for his behaviour, stealing or lying etc. He is completely asocial and has no friends and no interest in friends, he now has dropped all his interests and is only interested in his lap top. He will do things like tasks if its 'of the moment' if you ask him but never does the things he is expected to do on a regular basis. There are loads of other examples i could write but I will assume that you get the picture. I feel there is something else going on other than the PDD NOS. He does not see the psychiatrist now as an adult we cannot force him and he feels that he does not need to. I know you guys are not medical doctors etc but i wondered what you think of all this. It does not sound like aspergers or just high functioning autism. I really can't get past the 'I see no wrong with stealing and lying etc' part. Thanks to anyone who reads this and is prepared to give constructive comment.
  2. editing post

    I would like to know how to remove or edit my posts. I tried to edit once - didnt work out and now the 'edit' button is not under my post anymore.
  3. What to do??

    Hi, I am a stepmother of an 18 year old young man diagnosed with PDD-NOS back when he was about 4/5 years old. I speak on behalf of his father and myself as a team as the mother has taken herself out of the picture quite a while back. I have been in his life since he was 8. We have had all sorts of problems with him including severe aggression (much improved now with behavioural therapies we used) but the lying and stealing remain a big problem. I am not the stereotypical evil stepmother. I have worked hard to help him with his problems in the absence of a decent mother. I have done my best and am now exhausted and sick of the sight of him to be honest. He is now considered an 'adult' though still at school - he used to be in a special school but we moved and he had to attend a mainstream in order to follow his course in metal work. He has coped fine with being in mainstream and the school were doubtful but he is doing well and its ok. At home is the problem. We cannot stop him stealing and lying. He has a problem with impulse control and no therapies have helped that, if left to his own devices he would just eat ALL the time. We discovered he was coming downstairs in the night and drinking gallons of milk, eating margarine from the tub, eating cookies, bread, whatever he could find. He often steals food. I once made a large batch of gluten free cookies (i am gluten intolerant) and he raided the box and all was left was 2 from the 30 cookies I made. We now have to lock up the kitchen at night as despite speaking to him and other sanctions he just keeps doing it. Same with stealing money, or anything else he desires including my underwear and when he used to visit his mother hers too. He seems to have a compulsion to wear womens things. We see this as a stealing problem though, he goes into our bedroom and raids my drawers etc for my things, then often cuts them in specific places and has then disposed of them by throwing them somewhere in the neighbourhood. Charming . We now have to lock our bedroom too as nothing would stop him. He is aparently normal intelligence, has had regular check ups with the psychologist and counselling/therapy. He never improves or seems to give a damn about our rights. It is beginning to feel that there is something more than the PDD-NOS they diagnosed him with. He seems narcissistic or sociopathic. He has NO conscience. He actually gets annoyed with us because we have caught him stealing or lying. He has now lost the use of the internet in our home (only thing he cares about is computers etc) as we have changed the password and have made it quite clear that he will not get access until he changes his behaviour. We have been very clear about what we expect and what we wont accept but he thinks that he should just get it back in a couple of days. We had been warning for quite some time that we would do this. He had many chances but here we are..recently I found a key of ours he had stolen in order to get to his laptop. We feel like prisoners in our own home with all the keys. I have fibromyalgia and rheumatiod arthritis and struggle with the stairs and chronic pain and getting to the top of the stairs only to realise that the key is downstairs and vice versa is driving me mad. His father had a nasty accident on his bike recent and was in hospital with concussion and bruising, lacerations etc, was lucky not to lose his eye. What did Stepson do? took advantage of the situation where i was distracted caring for his father and emptied out my purse (i accidently left it downstairs) We have tried all the suggestions over the years, followed all the advice and have done what the experts say to do, nothing changes it. My question is: is this really the effects of being on the AS ? or is he just an ar***ole? His mother was an extremely nasty piece of work, manipulative, bullying and aggressive, always expecting to get her way etc. It feels like dealing with her at times. Any thoughts?
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