Can someone explain to me what is actually meant by having a dark sense of humour - what does it involve and how is it different from a normal sense of humour? I was 'accused' (I quote it because I don't think it was being said in a bad way) of having a very dark sense of humour this week. People have said this to me before and I've also been told I have a dry sense of humour - not sure what the differences are?
My favourite comedian, Tim Minchin, is sometimes described as having a very dark sense of humour; I think he's fantastic and I really 'get' him, but I know lots of people who just don't get where he's coming from at all and say he's not funny and that he's quite derogatory - but he's not at all, there's a lot of irony in his work (hmm, should I be getting that??? ). Now if in saying I have a dark sense of humour people are saying my way of coming across is like him then 'yippee' and to those who don't 'get' me and want to see offence when none is intended at all, have a pat on the head. But is it something else - are they saying there's something wrong in how I'm coming across.
I do use humour as a major defence mechanism, I'm really aware of that, and I've been accused of using humour when I shouldn't, being insensitive etc. and that actually upsets me because it feels like people are saying I can't be me. The people who have been most nasty about my sense of humour are the people who appear to hold the stereotypes that those with Autism can't use humour - and so they take what I say seriously rather than stopping to think that it might be a joke - this has happened quite a lot, when people have said they don't know if I'm joking or not, usually I am, but it seems that if someone wants to be offended they will be, and being offended seems to win over humour.
Anyway, apologies for the ramble - if it makes sense to anyone and anyone can explain, I'd be grateful. On a more general level, is the sense of humour held by those on the spectrum (and yes, I'm starting from the point of view that we do have one ) different to the NT population, or does it have the same wide variety?
This thread is wonderful to find. I have a young teen with amazing “dark humor” and Ive been trying to share with him that he should consider the appropriate audience or setting before sharing his jokes. Ie w buddies vs in church or in school. He seems to not understand how it may not be funny to others and could even get him in trouble. To him if its funny then others should accept it as a joke and think its funny too and not be offended. I have shared that while I support his authenticity and accept his humor as part of him (even if Im shocked sometimes) that Im trying to share some important social akills because some of the things he says could get him fired at a job some day etc. (time and place). He also enjoys the shock humor as well. So while I get it how might I impart some basic guidelines on how to assess a “scene” to figure out what is appropriate to share? Add impulse control and a teen that I want to keep strong in himself as his amazing individual self.
Dark / Dry Sense of Humour
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This thread is wonderful to find. I have a young teen with amazing “dark humor” and Ive been trying to share with him that he should consider the appropriate audience or setting before sharing his jokes. Ie w buddies vs in church or in school. He seems to not understand how it may not be funny to others and could even get him in trouble. To him if its funny then others should accept it as a joke and think its funny too and not be offended. I have shared that while I support his authenticity and accept his humor as part of him (even if Im shocked sometimes) that Im trying to share some important social akills because some of the things he says could get him fired at a job some day etc. (time and place). He also enjoys the shock humor as well. So while I get it how might I impart some basic guidelines on how to assess a “scene” to figure out what is appropriate to share? Add impulse control and a teen that I want to keep strong in himself as his amazing individual self.