kazemporium
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Posts posted by kazemporium
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thank you all for you support. I have no one except for the school to talk to. He has been discharged from the paedtrician and i dont know of anyone in my area to talk to. My husband is not very understanding.
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thank you all for you support. I have no one except for the school to talk to. He has been discharged from the paedtrician and i dont know of anyone in my area to talk to. My husband is not very understanding.
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Hi.Do you think school are right ?Ben gets very angry at times although he does not usually hurt others.He is more likely to shout.Usually when Ben is frustrated it is related to difficulties with him not being understood or due to Social Communication Difficulties.We are attempting to increase understanding and support.
It is possible that your DS is finding that he is angry for unrelated reasons to AS.However it is possible that he is angry because perhaps he is not being appropriately supported or is finding it more diffficult to understand the complex social world in the playground.
I am not saying that hurting others is ok.Your DS does need to learn that it is not a good way to deal with anger and to have clear consistent boundaries in place.However there might be some differences in how you and the school attempt to prevent frustration escalating into agression.Karen.
I think the school are doing there best, i am not sure if him hurting others is due to his AS as such but he seems to blame it on as himself. I have tried to explain to him what AS is and am worrying now that he uses it as an excuse to get away with things. At home he does throw tantrums when he doesnt get his own way but doesnt hurt us with anger. He only hurts us when he is over excited. When angry he does normal things like slamming doors etc.
I have manged with everything else but i really dont know what to do. I picked him up from school today and was pulled aside by the deputy head and his teacher as he had scratched one of his friends, they have put him in the time out book so he will miss playtime tommorow. Now his other friend who also has AS has said he is not his friend and my son is now upset as he wont have anyone to play with and doesnt want to go to school tommorow.
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Hi, I don't know if this is going to be of any help, but I'm 24 and I have ASD. I get angry and frustrated very easily and I tend to lash out at people. This has become more controllable as I've gotten older but I understand that a boy will do more damage than a girl! Perhaps it's worth explaining why he does this to the school so they may tell the pupils that when your son hurts them it is not because he wants to, he can't help it.On the other hand, your son might find martial arts or something similar helpful in order to understand when violence is relevant and when it is not. I took up Aikido a while ago and it has really helped me to view violence in a different way and the times I would usually get frustrated with someone and hurt them, I find myself going through my breathing exercises and planning the attack as I have been taught, and by the time I've done this in my mind, I am calm again! Martial arts teach discipline and breathing exercises that prove helpful in everything I do in my life. Aikido is a calmer form of martial art, aimed at women who want to learn self-defence techniques. Perhaps Judo, Karate or Tae Kwon Do would be better suited to your son.
Good luck!
Amy x
Hi
Thank you for your reply, i do find it hard as the school seem to think it has nothing to do with asd. I have suggested to my son that he counts to 10 etc but he says he does but he is still angry. I will look into some classes for him, he did say he wanted to join one before but i was worried it would make him worse.
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Hi
My 8yr old son who has asp is starting to get rather agressive towards his friends. The school have mentioned it to me and his friends have also told me that he keeps hurting them. I have discussed this with my son and have explained why it is wrong. He says he cant help it, his friends make him angry. He does hurt people when he gets excited too. Has anyone else been through similar situations and how have you dealt with it, i am really worried he will end up with no friends.
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Hello, sorry if I have made you feel like your not trying hard enough, my post was more to ensure there is a routine, established bedtime and a timeslot where there is time for calmer times, story/game time, I really dont think its about disapline either especially in Js case, he knows its bedtime but for him he gets very upset and there is no way he will sleep in those circumstances, if it that he really does esculate at bedtime what about providing things that help calm him down, J has an aray of things to support this, mostly sensory, so lava lamps, visual routine all displayed and explained to him the exspectations I have, time scales with alarm alerts, and consequences if he does not comply after a warning, so no PSP the next day with it displayed on the Whiteboard or I put in my notebook.I think from what you have described you are really trying, its very hard to get children to bed as it is, add in special needs and it is a real challenge, it not easy, I fail some nights too, I am tired, fed up, lost the drive to try, it gets you down, but when your stronger you are doing your best.
Dont feel like its your fault, its a really hard job to do, and some nights are harder than others.
Keep going you are already doing a good job.
JsMum
HI
I wasnt offened by what you wrote. I just feel like i have been a bot slap dash with regards to his bedtime routine. Tonight for example i went up and turned his t.v off at 8.30pm. I asumed as he was quiet he was settled down. He has just come back down the stairs at 10.30 to say he wants a drink, took him back up, tv back on and playstation and remote positioned near pillow.
I have now turned off the tv, snuggled him up and turned the light off, i have reminded him he has breakfast club at school in the morning which he looks forward to so he has to be up early. I know it will be a struggle to get up.
Thanks for your advice
Karen
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We having the mil and her other half and my grandparent inlaws round.
I dont really like xmas, i enjoy the excitment the kids have on xmas eve and seeing them open pressies then the day just goes downhill. Cooking cleaning and being tired due to getting up so early.opeing loads of naff pressies from family lol BAAAHHHH HUMBUGGGGGG
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I thought it was the games, tv etc. But have been trying to stop the games and hour or so before bedtime. It would just be nice for him to be asleep by 9pm. I am going to try one more time to discipline myslef by establishing a proper bedtime routine again. I just don't seem to have the time to read to him, settle him down etc. I dont mean to be selfish but the time never seems to be there. I seem to spend all evening shouting and going up and down the stairs to keep telling him things over and over again. I dont even watch tv until i go to bed myself.
My task for this week, get a bed time routine established and also discipline my husband to do the same at wkends when i am at work.
Thanks for your advice
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Hi Kaz,My biggest piece of advice is to read as much as you can about melatonin, then speak to your boy's paed. In my LA the paed can't prescribe it but she can tell the GP to prescribe. It can be different in different LAs. I told C's paed at one of his review meetings that his sleep pattern was getting progressively worse, that it was a battle to get him up in the mornings, that the whole family was suffering and that I was at the end of my tether. She said she would look into it....
Shortly before Xmas, the area network support co-ordinator (who's now my boss) met me in the staff toilets at my school and made the mistake of asking me how C was getting on - well, I told her the whole story with tears and snot and all (I know, not very dignified, alas - but I was exausted). She was due to go into a meeting with the paed and said she would talk to her, see if she could rush things along a bit. Within two days the paed phoned me at home to say she was contacting the GP to request melatonin and that he would phone me.
The GP was reticent, as he'd never prescribed it before but I made it clear that we had tried all the usual stuff and that I had read up on melatonin, talked about regular breaks to prevent familiarisation and to keep the dosage low. He obviously realised I wasn't an idiot and agreed to prescribe.
We didn't get it until late January simple because the pharmacy on the island didn't stock it and had to order it in for us.
I dont think the Gp can prescribe it without the recommendation of the paed, but as I said, it varies from LA to LA.
Hope this is of some help
Thanks for your advice, i have looked up a bit of info about it. Am worried that it may have an adverse effect and that he may become reliant on it to sleep. I have not seen anything to suggest that on the info i have read. I just have to establish some sort of sleep pattern for him. As he is obviously exhasted and the stress i have every morning is starting to take it toll on all of us. I cant believed i have to dress a 7 yr old everyday just to get him to school. Thats after taking an hr to get him out of bed.
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HI All
how did you get the melatonin prescribed, was it through your GP's or Paed ?
I mentioned it to a the gp once but it was a locum and they were not impressed by my request, just told me to try all the usual, no tv, playstation etc at bedtime.
My 7yr old son is a nightmare, the lack of sleep is really affecting his school work, and his temper through tiredness at home is driving me crazy. he through a temper tantrum for an hour after school last week, it was like having a toddler at home again.
I cant cope on the amount of sleep he has so god knows how he keeps going.
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HI
I have a 7 yr old son who has aspergers. I also have a 17yr old son who has not had a diagnosis. Through school and childhood who had the same problems as my youngest son, if anything he had more problems. How do i find out if he also has aspergers ? and how easy is it to diagnose a teen / adult.
Would love to hear from anyone else who has been in the same situation
Karen
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My Son has one to one swimming lessons at my local health club / Gym. As i am a member we can take him. Do you have any health clubs in your area ?
The lady who teaches him also teaches at the local sports centre, but due to earth quake damage it is currently closed. She now goes to a local hotel with a swimming pool and teaches some of the sport centre members there. They just pay �2 to use the pool plus her normal 1 2 1 fee.
Maybe you could approach a hotel and look for a teacher seperatley.
My son did not really learn anything when he was in a group of 6, he was too busy watching everyone else and messing about. He has only been having lessons for about 6mnths (1/2 hr a wk) and now swims the length of the pool and i have had to buy him pool toys so he can dive to get them from the bottom of the pool. I would recommend 1 2 1 if you can manage it.
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Son went for first time last week, he had a good time. He knew a few people there from school. Was shy for about 2mins. The leader got them into a circle and for about a min he seemed unsure, but this was purely because he didnt know what was goin on. She sat down and started to ask questions about hedgehogs, her first question she asked to the group he promptly put his hand up and replied. At this point i made my exit and returned at the end. I asked him if he had had a good time and he was reply was , no it didnt last for very long. Looks like he had such a good time, the time flew by and it wasn't long enough for him. Lets hope this week is as good.
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I think it's terrible that they expect you to work, I know people who are stay at home mums and dads and i didn't realise that they put pressure on parents to get jobs.
I have not claimed income support for about 10yrs so obviously things have changed alot. These people really don't understand your situation. Do you claim carers allowance ? as if you are a carer surely you can not be expected to work.
I work full time but work from home during the day and away from home at wkends which works really well for me, as i get me time at work and am home during hols and to do school runs etc.
My friend is a single mum and works part time, she is no worse or better off now she works and recieves tax credits.
If you wan to work part time then the schools are the best route as you get hols off too
good luck Karen
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Lisa
You worded that excellently thank you for your support, i am useless at expressing things. You have hit the nail on the head
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HI
I read the thread and did not think you were being offensive, i too watch big bro and it was an interesting situation. I do have my own views on what happened, but i wont express them as i wouldn't want anyone to take me the wrong way either. I am fairly new to forums and the other forums i have been on would of discussed topics like this, so you were not to know.
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i managed to speak to someone at another beaver group last night and my son is starting next week. He was lovely and said he and the other leader are both teachers and have lots of experience with asp children. They are a large group and have two groups one for 6 - 7yr olds and one for 7-8yr olds. As my son is 7 in a couple of weeks i suggested keeping him with the younger group due to his reading abilities but he said the 7 - 8yr old group only has 8 members so that group will def be better. which i agree with. He apologised for the other leaders comments and didnt seemed surprised when i told him what she said.
I will let you all know how he gets on next week.
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I don't know alot about it but i do no someone who has looked into it for her daughter and thinks it sounds great. Her friend did it for her son and said it worked well BUT..........................
I did read on here or another forum before that it is a rip off, i am sure someone will enlighten you to more helpful advice.
I have thought about it myself but after reading the thread someone else wrote it put me off.
Let us know what you decide, sorry i've not been any help
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We usually find out in the last week of school. My son has found the class moving a daunting time. I am dreading the nxt one.
His teacher this year has been great, she has a great undertsanding of his needs as she has taught many children similar in the past. I do not know the year 3 teachers so i do not know what experience they have and if the wil be so understanding. I might ask his current teacher her opinions next week and see what is happening. Her father works for my Husband so might get some info that way.
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Speak to the school and ask how many supervisers will be in the changing rooms and around the pool, my son starting swimming at school this yr and he is yr 2 and really enjoys it. I know they have helpers in the changing rooms and the pool. I think for the whole class there are 4 differnent teachers / swimming instructors at the pool side and the chlidren are in groups of ability.
I no pay for my son to have one to one swimming lessons once a week too. He is now really enjoying swimming and is doing really well.
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Anyone know how much longer I might have to wait to hear from them re my application? it's 8 weeks now....Anne
I am asuming you are talking about your DLA ,I think mine took just under 8weeks, have you checked your bank account ?
My sons money was paid in before i got anything through the post. Maybe you should give them a ring and ask how your claim is going, at least you will have some indication. Good luck
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I just wanted to add something else, anytime I've approached someone with a view to them having any kind of contact with my son I've always mentioned the autism first and not as an incidental, I usually say something along the lines of.........hi there, I've been told you teach horse riding and I was wondering if you'd like to try and make a difference in the life of an autistic child.It never fails to work and even if the person can't help I'm usually told why very nicely.
I like that approach i might try that one myself. If someone said that to me i would def give them a chance.
I have parents phoning me to book their childrens parties and they always mention if their child has a disability. As soon as they mention it i always reassure them that i am happy to do their parties and that i do have a son with asp. The parties have all been a great success. I did one at the weekend for a 6yr old girl and i would never of known if her mum had not told me.
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Sams Mum
Thanks for your comments, as a leader you can obviously see things in a different way. I have calmed down a bit now, i was just fuming at the time.
I am still waiting on a reply from the Kent hq but they are obviously busy people too.
I do not know where the other local groups meet so i have no contact details for them, i am hoping to try one of the others in the area and hopefully they will have the helpers to cope with another child.
Because of the womans attitude i will not even contemplate offereing to help if he joined them. She was very rude and needs to learn some etiqute
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Hi, As he's been turned down without any chance of a trial I think you need to speak with your area Commisioner to see if anything can be done. I really hope you can sort this out as I'm sure he would benefit tremendously from going. If you need any help finding out who your local officials are PM me and I'll do a bit of research for you.Thanks Pippin
I have emailed them already but they have not replied and it was about a week ago.
melatonin purchase in UK
in Medication
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Hi
My son was prescribed melatonin from the paed however as he has been discharged from her i am unable to get her to write me a prescription.
I have been to my gp however they will not prescribed and they advised me to go online and purchase some.
Does anyone else buy online if so please could you recommend a site to me so i know it is safe.
Thanks