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CEJesson

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Posts posted by CEJesson

  2. Posted · Edited by CEJesson · Report reply

    I am still, quite frankly, connected to Thomas. Possibly in a more nostalgic way. I found that the concept of 'fantasy worlds' that looked incredibly real which formed a strong basis to Thomas was important to me. It matched all of the little towns and cities I was creating at the time, on paper or with lego, bringing them into a visual format.

  12. Posted · Edited by CEJesson · Report reply

    I will be attending both days adding to the presentation/talk on Saturday so very much looking forward to it.

     

    If anybody wishes to get in touch regarding a confidential chat/advice please send me a message.

  13. Posted · Edited by CEJesson · Report reply

    Thanks for bumping this Chris...it had slipped my mind, but I'm going to print off the details to give to my line manager ay work.

     

    Bid :)

     

    Apologies for the exceptionally large text, I was on the netbook with incorrect zoom settings!!

    I will be speaking at the Autism Show on the Saturday.

  15. Posted · Report reply

    Im also at a cross roads Chris so i have some idea what you are going through. i have my own place and a driving licence. However finding a job and sorting out my ignored (by my PTC) mental health problems is another matter. i am just about holding on because i never know what is around the corner. There are a few self help books about AS. Also you might wish to try joining a NAS social group for some structure to look forward to in your life. A place to be yourself northsocialgroups@nas.org.uk is the contact email on the NAS website.

     

    i would give up the most distressing activities if possible and concentrate instead if you can on your degree.

     

     

    NAS social group looks a good idea - Im reprofiling my attention towards less formal meetings to re-engage my social life such as joining car clubs and social groups. Im a member of an AS Social Group at University but haven't yet declared these difficulties in there.

  16. Posted · Report reply

    I would like to Karen's comments, my colleagues who listened to you were so impressed with the way you have dealt with the difficulties you have faced and it's true to say you were inspirational. :notworthy: I know they went back to school and viewed their pupils with ASD in a slightly different way, realising that these children have great potential and their futures can be improved using knowledge from your experiences.

     

    As a parent you have given me hope that my son can continue his education further than we dared to hope for a few years ago. :thumbs: You seem like you are very busy and it's probably hard for you devote as much time as you would like to everything. I would imagine you frequently feel exhausted; anyone would but I think you need to make sure you take care of yourself. In my life there have been times when I've felt overwhelmed with things I have taken on and I've learned to stop and prioritise and drop things (sometimes temporarily) to give me a bit more space. When I've made these decisions I've felt so much better and started to enjoy life a bit more.

     

    I have to say though that your presentation was so good I would be sad if you couldn't do more! :clap: Don't forget either this can be a tricky time to feel upbeat, nights drawing in,weather deteriorating and this term always seems the longest. I really hope things improve for you, your contributions are so valuable. >:D<<'> >:D<

    Take care

     

    Thanks, I don't think there is a danger of withdrawing on the AS support side of things, and this is to continue you'll be pleased to know:) but I definately feel that rather than exhaustion, which I don't really feel, a lowered mental capacity to overhaul these commitments has taken place.

  17. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Chris,

     

    I think I can understand quite a bit of how you are feeling. I'm very prone to take on too much both I think because I like to be busy but also because I have an appalling sense of how long things will take and of the time and commitment I am giving and then become surprised and upset when I can't fit in everything I have said I would do, despite it being unreasonable for any human to be expected to take on the list of tasks I have. In relation to this, I also find it really difficult to say 'no', so if someone were to say to me 'oh Mumble, thought you might be interested in this seminar' or 'mumble there's a bit of work available would you like it' or 'mumble, can you just help me with my stats for 5 minutes' (which becomes 5 hours) I'll always say yes. I guess part of that is also about wanting to feel involved and in contact with the outside world which can be difficult when engaged in individual studies.

     

    I wonder if you're finding things harder as a masters student - I assume this is a one-year course? - and as such have less stability - there's always the 'what next' issue hanging over you.

     

    I'm glad you're seeing a mentor and I would definitely make use of this. I've had a fantastic mentor since February and she's made such an enormous different to my ability to cope. See if you mentor can help with thinking about your commitments and can help you identify what is important, what isn't and how you could put some things on hold without loosing them permanently.

     

    With the short notice demands/timetable changes could you speak to someone at your university - either in the disability office or a tutor you trust and see if something can be worked out? This was a major issue for me and I still struggle when things are changed at short notice, but they do now try to give me as much warning as possible and my supervisor will always 'look out' for me if he knows there's been a change I'm going to find difficult.

     

    Hi Mumble,

    My course is an odd quantity really, a four year undergraduate that if completed to standard at the end of the 4th year is also classed as a Masters qualification. It is different from a standard Masters degree in that I am working less days per week in Sheffield, have no dissertation and finish in June rather than September. My mentor has been helping through this and has been most helpful, suggesting ideas of potentially moving back to Sheffield. I will go and view places but Im not conclusive on moving back just yet.

  18. Posted · Edited by CEJesson · Report reply

    Hi Chris.

    I decided to be honest.If this is a problem then you can always ask the mods to Edit and I will not be offended. :)

    I can fully understand that things might feel difficult and that you are involved in lots of things.

     

    However I wanted to say what an inspiration you are.You bring a perspective that is hugely helpful to parents of children and teenagers with ASD.My husband and myself have thought about lots of issues and found you an inspiration having come to a presentation a couple of weeeks ago.I know many other parents who I am sure will have appreciated your sharing your experiences.

     

    The same day you spoke we found out that a pupil at our boys school had died tragically.It has been a very difficult time. :tearful:

    We have found encouragement in having listened to you and now hope that Ben may go on to achieve as much as you appear to have done. :notworthy::notworthy::notworthy::notworthy:

     

    Karen.

     

     

    Hi Karen,

    Thanking you for the response. I suppose this thread is an 'addendum' to that presentation to answer any questions that might have taken place asking where the difficulties still lie, as undeniably it was a very positive outlook and rightly so to endorse on the day. The work on autism and AS is something still very close to the heart and is least affected by this trouble. Other work representing people and additionally parts of the degree, combined with social networking being so much harder and uncomfortable these days has lost the capacity to handle many things in one stint and being busy on multiple roles.

     

    This is difficult in the eyes of others who traditionally accepted me as a strong person, but it is they who often ask about AS not fully understanding it.

     

    I'm glad you found encouragement in the presentation and it is very uplifiting to read your post.

  19. Posted · Report reply

    I'm sure you get asked to do lots of things because you're able and reliable. It can be very draining and you may be better off doing fewer things and allowing yourself some time to recharge your batteries. Short notice demands are difficult to manage even for NTs and I usually work on the basis that if I accept a last minute thing something else that's more planned has to drop off my schedule. If I don't I hit a brick wall of exhaustion.

     

    Thanks for your post.

    I do get asked to do things but I usually appreciate being asked. It is the commitments where I have taken the first step that I need to erase out.

  20. Posted · Edited by CEJesson · Report reply

    I'm back. Ive been online in various times but waited to reply - I hope you don't mind but want to respond to each reply individually. I spent the weekend fiddling around with my car making some modifications, some not entirely successful but its a way of having a go and escapism from the situation of that original post of mine.

     

    I am to cutback on some of the arrangements, less so on the Autism side and will not be making changes or withdrawals to the degree. I am also staying later on in the day and evening in Sheffield to spend as much time as is available. These two items should go hand in hand at reducing anxieties with a lot of schedule changes. Morale is improving but hasn't gone away until I get contact with the people whom to discuss any changes with.

     

    Chris, I am sorry to hear you're struggling.

     

    But look at how much you've achieved, and still are managing alongside doing your degree as well.

     

    I think it's important to have some social outlets even if it's hard to sustain. But you are not shutting yourself off altogether, you are still doing stuff and meeting people.

     

    I don't know if maybe doing so much is leaving you quite tired. I know that I get down when I am tired. Perhaps dropping some extras will make everything seem a bit better.

     

    Talking about this kind of thing is hard. You have explained yourself very well in your post. Perhaps you could print it off and guve it to your mentor as a way to start the conversation.

    Hi Tally,

    Thanks for your response, I know that a lot has been achieved but I am sensing that I lack 'capacity' to continue at the same rate. Ive had a feeling of 'hollow headedness' like I don't know as much for a while, in the degree and on external roles. But the enthusiasm is often there. I need to reprofile my actions and find my feet once again and the best way is to restructure where time is directed to. Ive become a moderator on a car forum recently which helps that.

     

    I will try to get some social situations but will base these around coffees/lunches and also motoring, where my interest areas have always descended to.

  21. Posted · Report reply

     

    Talking about this kind of thing is hard. You have explained yourself very well in your post. Perhaps you could print it off and guve it to your mentor as a way to start the conversation.

     

    Thanks Tally, that is a really helpful suggestion - meeting her tomorrow afternoon so have a chance to print it off over lunch :thumbs:

  22. Posted · Edited by CEJesson · Report reply

    Hi all,

     

    Been rather upset recently owing to a combination of things:

     

    Most of it is because after years of being crushed I went to University and felt the release - new social worlds and things appeared more seamless. But starting last year I crept back - became busier and found social networking a lot more difficult to the extent where I am now living at home and prefer to mingle less often but get more achievement out of doing it. But it is hard because I remember those better years and reminisce. I also am at a point when I realise when I am hard work to other people having recognised self perceptions of AS a bit more but don't have much clue as to how to sort this out?

     

    I like to be dilligent and busy, so am participating in a lot of extra curricular roles to university but some are less rewarding because of poor group productivity. I like participating in things in which people get on and when this doesn happen it is hard to be flexible. Being in formal situations is fine but informal is a hurdle. This is coupled with commuting to university and having lots of short notice demands placed including a university timetable rearrange for group work this year.

     

    Im deciding to cutback on some of these items and focus on the degree, trying to get back involved in some university societies that work around times I am in Sheffield. Will see how it goes. I see a mentor twice a week and will go through it with her, I find it difficult to get things out in the open :(

     

    What I will say is dont give up on aspirations of going to further/higher education just make sure you don't take on too many commitments.

     

    Dislike stating this but is it right to have a perception that the fluctuations of dealing with AS has become more acute over the past year?

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