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mrs.ddh

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Posts posted by mrs.ddh

  1. Posted · Edited by mrs.ddh · Report reply

    Are we definately going for the weekend of the 1st/2nd September? I'm thinking about being impulsive today (call the thinking part Aspie impulsiveness :lol:) and booking a quiet youth hostel for a few days - scary but I think it's what I really need.

     

    I had another thought on the Brockenhurst thing - is there a castle there? I'm also convinced Brocky came from a castle called 'Brockenhurst'.

     

    Anyway - New Forest sounds lovely and I'm not scared of ponies!!!! :clap: :clap: :clap: Can we ride the ponies? :unsure: Horse riding is on my list of things to do before I go mad and get imprisoned in a padded cell :lol:

     

     

    YOu are not allowed to ride the ponies...but my DS and I have been known to feed them a few carrots! Once we fed them breadsticks! And I dont know if you are even allowed to do that... :whistle: but it sure was fun! One of the ponies kept shaking his head up and down after he ate a breadstick, as if saying, hmm, that's nice but it's getting stuck to the roof of my mouth. We laughed ourselves silly watching him. And then he would nudge us again for another one!!

     

    ddh

  2. Posted · Report reply

    If things aren't too crazy here, I would love to come along - the New Forest is practically on my doorstop! The New Forest ponies are soooo lovely and what's that I hear about antique shops? Those are fun too, I mean, good for research purposes. Isn't there a New Forest museum as well? Maybe the kids would like that? I remember taking my kids there when they were little and they enjoyed all the tasks they had...need to check if it is near Brockenhurst...

     

     

    ddh

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Thanks! Been another bad day so far.............. hanging on by a thread at the moment!

    :tearful:

     

    Sorry to hear that yet another day is not going well for you, Sue. It happens to us all - can get a real stretch of days sometimes too when nothing positive seems to happen. Your day out with your boys sounds very similar to what happens to us too. One plays off the other, one annoys the other, huge tantrums all round, and the day seems ruined, life seems hopeless, and yes, I end up feeling crumpled in the garden too. Hang in there, Sue - you are not alone in this - we all have days and moments like that too. You are doing great. Remember that when the chips start flying again!

     

    >:D<<'>

     

    ddh

  4. Posted · Report reply

    Aww, Mumble, don't give up, sugar. I read this thread and agree with everything that has been said. And hun, you do write very well. I teach English and spend my days writing and reading (time allowing!) and I have always found your posts extremely well-written. Do not ever doubt your ability to write - you got it, girlfriend! >:D<<'>

     

    ddh

  5. Posted · Report reply

    I too am shocked by your story and cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. To have a child taken away is barbaric, and one who is disabled highly shameful. What are they thinking? I agree with those who said bang on doors and make some noise! If you feel unable to leak the story yourself, then get a relative or trusted friend to do it for you. Try the local paper (they usually run their numbers in their papers if you have a story to tell), or try the local BBC. (They should have a number on the website for your area and they will put you in touch with whom you need to speak to - either the news team or perhaps the InsideOut team who do current affair programmes which are not aired immediately, though). If you do ring any news team, you will have to speak to them personally as they need to verify the story from the source. It would be illegal of them to run a story based on what someone else had said about you or your son. I would especially get a news team (camera crews) there for when they are planning on taking your son - crass as it may sound, but it would make good pictures for a good story - and sorry, I know this sounds dreadful - but that's how the news works, that's how and why stories get told. If you cannot get a news team there, or you feel uncomfortable with this, then get someone else to film it for you. It is evidence of the distress unduly caused to you and your son.

     

    Good luck to you. I wish you all the best. Stay strong, sugar.

     

    ddh

  6. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Mrs ddh,

     

    Don't withdraw the appeal! It will keep the pressure on them.

     

    I don't think you have time to go looking for other independent assessments, so I'd say just submit what you have for now, an write a parental update of your own. Hopefully it will be enough for them to grant the assessment, and then maybe you could get an independent EP assessment if you think it will strengthen your case.

     

    Hope you had a great time in Austria, by the way! :)

     

    K x

     

     

    Hiya Kathryn,

     

    Thanks for responding - at least I got one reply! And you're right, we will not withdraw our appeal unless the LEA decides to play ball.

     

    I don't think I was clear enough in my request for information: I have yet to learn all the jargon! On the application form requesting the LEA to do an assessment, under section 2, it says: 'If an assessment is made, I want you to contact the following people for a report:' under which is a section listing the name/organisation, address, etc of whom you wish them to contact. Your reply seems to suggest that we could get an independent EP assessment after the fact, after we have submitted our application, without necessarily supplying that information under section 2. I guess what we were wondering is who is best suited to do a report on our son? Which organisation will be able to see his educational and emotional needs and make the LEA play ball? The NAS? CAHMS? (I have seen that mentioned on the forum.) As you can see, we are still very much newbies when it comes to the LEA-SA game...and frankly, I am already tiring of it...

     

    But on the plus side - we did have a lovely time in Austria and miss being there! We were in the Tirol mountain region, in the valley of Niederau! DS had picked it himself and it worked a treat for him. It was quiet, relatively unpeopled (low season for a ski resort!) and consisted of one road with very little on it. May not be most people's ideal holiday destination, but for a kid with HFA it was perfect - especially as DS hates noise, hustle and bustle and smelly, dirty toilets. Believe it or not, there was not a single toilet in the areas we visited which wasn't as clean as my own! (Probably cleaner, :lol:) Honestly, the Austrians put us to shame. Every restaurant/ cafe/ shopping area/ tourist attraction had pretty clean toilets - we couldn't wait to try them out and see what each looked like! For example, a ladies loo in an Italian restaurant we randomly picked to have lunch in ( in the neighbouring town) had lovely drapes on the windows, bouquets of flowers and a huge table lamp on the marble-like vanity sink area, and an art display on a table featuring two lovely busts of the buddha! All this in an inexpensive little pizzeria! Unfortunately, the men's loo was not as ornate, so we had to open the door for DS and let him drool over the beauty of the ladies loo!

     

    Hope you have had or about to have a good hol too, Kathryn.

     

    Off to write more for the SA - day three...

     

    And if anyone else has any advice, I am still listening. (Or if you wish to compare holiday loos?)

     

    ddh

  7. Posted · Report reply

    Hello Forum,

     

    Haven't been on the forum for a bit because we went on holiday to Austria (DS's choice!) and on our return found a letter waiting from the LEA saying that they would reconsider doing an assessment for our son, after turning down the school's application for an SA and after receiving notification that we were appealing (our tribunal hearing was to be in October). So, now thank you LEA for deciding to consider our application again while DH still has holiday time from work and we can spend hours sitting at computers and on the phone instead of going out and about and having a bit of fun with our kids....

     

    We seem to have come up with a good battle plan this time round, but we were wondering who to put under the section which asks who we would like to make a report on our son. We already have a letter from the psych who has been seeing our DS in relation to his anorexia but the educational requests he makes in the letter are weak at best (he is not an ed psych). Any and all advice is desperately needed! We now have less than two weeks to resubmit our application.

     

     

    Isn't this fun? :wallbash:

     

    ddh

  8. Posted · Report reply

    Viper,

     

    I do not honestly know what rights you have once your child reaches the age of 16. However, I do offer my sympathy in regards to how you were handled. It must have been awful for you to have your child injured by another child and then, when you take yours in for medical treatment, you are suspected of doing the injury yourself. More worrying is the effect it had on your daughter - she was there for treatment, not scurrilous questions about her parents. I realise that professionals have to follow protocol when they suspect foul play, but surely common sense should come into play, especially when handling a minor and one who has a disability. Why didn't the nurse ask how she received the injury first, and then - based on her response - probe more deeply (but tactfully and sensitively) if her answer seemed dubious or false? Sounds to me like the nurse was driving a bulldozer... :shame:

     

    ddh

  9. Posted · Report reply

    Thanks for the link, Bagpuss. I think the place looks amazing, wouldn't mind having a go myself! Jools, from what I could make out in the little video it looks as if you can choose where you go and possibly avoid certain areas if you need to - so the place itself shouldnt pose much of a problem for your G. I know how you feel, though, about wondering what he will like or fear, what he will delight or shriek at. But then, if you think about it, life is like that too sometimes. Little things come up and we have to deal with them, whether we are ASD or not. And it isn't as if he is in the hands of strangers - he's with you and chances are you will know by instinct what to avoid or how to calm him should he get upset. I hope he doesn't and you all have a fantastic time!

     

    Good luck (and I hope it doesn't rain...)

     

    ddh

  11. Posted · Report reply

    I hear you, hon. It is frustrating and overwhelming sometimes, isn't it? Things getting on top of you? Been there, done that. Now what you need is some time to yourself, or a good cry, or an ASD-free moment or two. Anyway you can do any of those? Or all three at the same time? A bubble bath with a mag? A video only you want to see? With popcorn or sweeties?

     

    You are not a bad mother, and as for those looks from others - ah, blast them. What do they know? I tend not to see them anymore, to my peril! :lol: This week I took son (HFA14) to lunch with his two sisters (Both NT, but then I wonder) and we then went to a few charity shops to have a good mosey around. Well, son decided to try on all the wedding hats and chose one (a pink number with veil) and wore it in the shop the entire time we were there. I didnt think anything of it. I only thought he looked rather attractive in it. Well, shop assistant was not a happy bunny about it, and I failed to notice. Not until my daughter nudged me and told me that he was making a scene did I realise that he was. Oh! The shop assistant was glaring and fuming! I calmly told my son to remove the hat and put it back, which luckily he did without a fuss. And this is just one of many occurences...he often sings or dances or squeals or jumps in the middle of wherever we are - to the shock or horror of everyone else. (He is six foot one - so he does take people by surprise with his antics.) I am sure they think he is rude and inconsiderate of others, but I know differently - and that is all that matters. So sod them I say, and so should you.

     

    Hang in there, KateBall. And go have whatever makes you happy for a moment or two. You deserve some down and fun time. Race you to the chocolate.

     

    ddh

  12. Posted · Report reply

    i am having the same problem. My daughter is 14 and i also have a 6 year old, almost 7. it has been a nightmare trying to get any support for them or their brother who is 12 and has Aspergers Syndrome. i have tried a number of different sites but they do not seem appropriate for them. i am sure there are other people out there who are having the same problems. In my area, there is a support group for children and their siblings. this is, however, quite a distance from where i live and i cannot make the meetings. i am thinking of setting up some kind of support group in my town, but don't know how to go about it. i feel that there is the problem all across the country, that children are given a diagnosis and then the families, including the child and their siblings are supposed to just get on with it! If you find any where that is useful, i would reaaly appreciate it if you could let me know. Likewise, if i find any info, i will put on another post.

     

     

    I totally agree! Our son (HFA 14) was diagnosed a year ago and since then...we have been given nothing! No advice, no support, no help. :wallbash: We too were left to get on with it. I found a local support group in our area to which I took my son but he hovered in a corner the whole time we were there (with DH hovering with him). Chances are we will not get him there again. Sorry to say that I have no answers - only moral support and understanding, and being in the same boat!

     

    ddh

  14. Posted · Report reply

    I want to see a piccie of Buster too! He (she?) seems to have a great big fan base at the mo...long may s/he prosper!

     

    ddh

     

    PS. Pearl, I think your other sock is hanging from my lilac...should I ship it back to you or give it to Buster as another present? He can have a matching pair when he makes a dash for freedom....

  15. Posted · Report reply

    Well I wouldn't class it the same :rolleyes: I do the same they get money to do stuff but obviously they only do it if they feel like it and that is a rare event- so I have to join the club. I try to keep one room (the living room) as tidy as possible but even this is not working and all sort of things are creeping on the floor/sofa and coffee table.. Oh my god; it is never ending :tearful:

     

     

    I too pay DS(HFA 14) to do chores around the house: it gives him things to do and keeps him occupied. As he cannot get a job, it is his way of earning money for the things he wants - and I use the DLA money to pay him! I have very tidy kitchen cupboards at the moment! Now if only he would clean under the sofa....

     

     

    ddh

  16. Posted · Report reply

    It was keeping me away from re-reading those flippin school reports and ratings scales before tomorrow :)..

     

    So although this game is driving me bonkers I'm kinda enjoying it! :)

     

    Have you figured out how to get the shape into the hole? (That sounds a bit rude, sorry!)

    I did it once and then immediately forgot how I did it.

    Memory must go as you get older... :whistle:

     

    ddh

  17. Posted · Report reply

    Just pass it over to Carole, she'll do it for you. Extreme mangling.

     

    I wish she would as I have yet to do it. In between this forum and Big Bro I aint gettin' nothing done! I must be going through a adolescent phase or something as I am normally very work-oriented and never fail to do 'The Chores'.

     

     

    roll on adolescence or maybe just some fun irresponsible twenties?

     

    ddh

  21. Posted · Report reply

    I have 3 laundry baskets that look like erupting volcanoes. And we have to keep using the same towels till the new machine arrives, yuck.

     

    Could you hang the towels outside over night to freshen them up? It might not even rain.... :lol:

     

    I know your pain, Pearl. I remember when our machine packed up - it was like dirty purgatory. I ended up going to the launderette - either that or move - the clothes piles were taking over the house...

     

    ddh

  24. Posted · Report reply

    I have laundry in a basket to put away, more hanging on the clothes dryer, ironing shoved in a cupboard and another load waiting to go...we are either very dirty or very clean. And I agree, where does it all come from? The dirty laundry container is a bottomless pit...it just keeps coming :wallbash:

     

    And here I sit :dance:

     

    ddh

  25. Posted · Report reply

    Yes, it is a bit cynical Canopus. I know loads of parents who are involved in the wider issues, but for most of us its a full time job ensuring our child gets equitable treatment, that has to come first imo. And by fighting for our own children, we are hopefully paving the way for those that follow. JP's schools, for instance are much more AS friendly as a result of his trailblazing over a decade ago. We have to sweat the small stuff as well as the big stuff.

     

    I agree with the aspect of trailblazing. For over three years we have been trying to get the LS dept and the SENCo at our son's school to do anything for him (HFA 14) and finally this autumn they will be training up a TA in ASD to work with him and they are bringing in an ASD expert to help formulate his IEPs. I know this is small potatoes, but once the TA is trained she will be able to help others in the future. As for finally consulting experts for help, the gate is open there too.

     

    ddh

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