ScienceGeek

climbing

band

Nope, UK Brewery based in Nottingham Mason

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sand

Thanks. Just been getting stressed as you can see. The whole need for things to be perfect has led to me typing and retyping the same 300 or so words rather than getting any further. Damn perfectionism

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I wish it were as simple as a not quite finished draft. I've barely even started the thing, my attention span and energy levels have been so poor that I've only got 300 of the required 1500 words done. I'm going to try my best tomorrow to get as much done as possible and then take it to the dyslexia tuition. The essay is due in a week tomorrow so will have a few days to make any adjustments. I seriously can't wait until the holidays, we have a month off and only have to do 2 assignments and revise for a small maths test for when we get back from the hols. I sent my first email to the e-counselling service during the week so will be expecting the first reply tomorrow morning. I don't think I could face doing it in person right now. Everywhere you turn in the university there is people, obviously to be expected. I dunno it seems like they are all coping a lot better than me, all interatcing with each other and stuff. I just want people to leave me alone, so I can sit and each my lunch in peace. It's not that I don't like people, just that they are far too tiring and take far too much effort, which I don't have the patience or energy for right now. Pah. Edit: Why do I feel the need to be perfect? That everything I do has to be perfect?

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I've been feeling exhausted all of the time since I had the inner ear infection, the ear infection has gone but the tiredness hasn't. I feel like I've ran out of steam and have no reserves left for the last couple of weeks of term. Tomorrow I have to write 1200 words of my essay to have the draft ready to take to the dyslexia tuition appointment on Tuesday. My anxiety levels have gone through the roof in the last few weeks. All I just want to do is crawl under the duvet and not come out for a few weeks. Depression is definitely back, sleeping patterns have gone erratic. In other words things are not good with me right now. I constantly feel like I'm overloaded and it just accumulates every day. This term has been far too much for me. I'm hoping that I won't be as bad the other terms as they are shorter than this one. I can't wait to move to Bristol next year, at least that will be 3hrs taken off my day. Just feel like I've hit the wall and can't go any further. I knew that I would struggle with university, but didn't realise I would react this badly.

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Oy, A similar thing happened to me when I was younger. Those central locking doors, my dad shut my thumb in the car door. I remember screaming non stop for about 5hrs, thumb turning completely black, nail fell off. Surprisingly no break though.

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