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  1. I have heard this said a lot and I have never quite understood it, or how to accomplish it, or whether I should. People say they have learnt how to trick their mind and fake things in order to suit social interaction. I cannot do that. I do not want to lie to myself. I also wish to find genuine friends. I don’t wish to fake my way through life. That sounds like every time I lie to myself by being someone I’m not causes an emotional spear to jab through my heart. I do not wish to inflict emotional pain on myself if that means I have to fit it and try to fake how I am and the way I act. I have always wanted to find friends that can either understand or learn to understand and accept my difficulties and not become frightened by them. That is what I consider a true friend. In faking my mind and trying to push through by acting positively when I know it isn’t. That sounds wrong and it also sounds like it can cause emotional pain. How would that help me? When I was younger I always searched school to try to find someone genuine. I have come across many bullies, but I do not want to lie to myself. School had stabbed me in the back many times, should I have willingly accepted those stabs to try to fit in. If I have to act fake in the ‘outside world’ and act positively when I know life is not. That would be a plain lie, wouldn’t it? I don’t understand that analogy. To trick my mind, I do not understand this concept. I cannot lie and say that life is a bed of roses, when it isn’t. I have never been a positive thinker because I always want to see the truth. I do not want to lie. I hate lying, both to myself and others. Is this the only way to find friends? It sounds wrong to me.
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