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Hi My son's been having a particularly tough time over the past few weeks, particularly prior to Christmas e.g. did a runner from school resulting in police looking for him, etc etc. Anyhow, he's been going to a local judo club which is specifically for ASD kids for about 1.5 years. He loves interacting with the older boys, but has always had problems working with younger kids (he just doesn't like them, and I also think he fears he may hurt them i.e. for years he's been taught to be gentle, etc etc, but he's a big strapping lad for his age). Christmas week he went to judo and was paired with a younger kid and he snapped - he refused to work with him and was extremely rude to the coach. Hubby told me that the coach gave him a good talking to in front of the group about his attitude and moods and basically told him that there were plenty of other kids on the waiting list should he decide not to come back (R did say he wasn't going back). Anyhow, I spoke with coach a few days ago to say that kiddo finds this time of year tough because of excitement, change in routine, etc and ask if there was anything we could do collectively to short term to help him. By her response, I've been left feeling pretty let down. She basically said that kiddo has an attitude and has lost interest, was unenthusiastic and has a problem working with all the kids. I did say that I disagreed with her, that kiddo appears to be unenthusiastic, but nevertheless he enjoys going, it's good for him, and yes although he doesn't like working with younger kids, the younger kid concerned is rather over-zealous (leaving R with bruises week-after-week). I felt coach was labelling me as a soft touch parent who was pandering to kiddo, whereas I actually feel that a one-size fits-all approach isn't going to work for them all (it's a special needs group after all!!!) and that it was best for us to work together to help kiddo continue with judo (he's earned 5 belts so far, and is proud as punch with that achievement). Feel really let down that she's just there to make a quick buck out of whoever (she reminded me that there are other kids on the waiting list)! I'm in two minds whether to speak to the local autistic society that set up this arrangement. Just feel really miffed for kiddo that someone else is ready to give up on him. Unfortunately, we haven't been blessed with a little angel that does everything he's told, etc etc - instead, I've been blessed (I do mean that - he can be a lovely kid) with a child that really struggles with authority, controlling his temper, etc etc. I thought this was the one place that kiddo would be given some understanding, but fear that the coach is keen to howf him out and replace him with an easier customer! Don't get me wrong, kiddo needs to learn that it's not okay to be disrespectful, non-compliant, etc etc, but he needs adults to stick with him (where most have given up!!!) and give him boundaries, discipline, consequences, etc etc, but allow him the chance. Sorry, that's a bit of a story. What do you guys think? Caroline.