Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support 06/04/2017Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers. People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help. There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a> People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999. We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum. However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help. In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf. Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole. If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines. We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources. The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above. Regards, The mod/admin team
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I am in need of some advice, I really feel like I am losing things slowly and I am going to explode. A little back history, I have been under some form of mental health services for the past 10 years, first diagnosis was OCD, then Borderline Personality Disorder, which I had very intense therapy for. About just over three years ago I sort a second opinion as I didn't agree with what I was diagnosed with. I went through a three appointment assessment, which one of my parents attended. Outcome was a diagnosis of Aspergers and ADHD, with mood cycling diagnosis. They felt my self-harm was due to a realisation that I was not achieving all that I had been expected, purely existing. This was done private and I was never able to take it further because there was no room for discussing it further with my then mental health team. From 2010 I was employed part-time in a local supermarket, it was very stressful and anxiety provoking, but the routine of my job got me through. Late last year I went full time and moved up to a supervisor. Soon everything fell apart. I like to do things the right way, no rule breaking. Which didn't go down too well, but let me say, this wasn't just small rule breaking, some of it was just pure un-professional. My department manager refused to back me up, saying "if you want routine, then this isn't the job for you". There was no structure in this role and I asked if he could give me set tasks each shift, so I wasn't stood doing nothing. I was given the role of observations on staff, so when I failed someone I was in the wrong. There was bullying on top of it. It got to the point earlier this year after 4 months full time in this position I was severely self-harming, spending time in A&E to the early hours before 2 hours of sleep before another day at work. In the end I handed my notice in. I know that the main issue at work was my need for routine/structure, also I don't think like others, so it became an issue when I couldn't understand their way of thinking. I have no way of communicating anything verbally and the situation got out of hand. If someone told me they would do something say at x,y and z, I would expect it done and couldn't understand why they would say it then not do it. Anyway after leaving, I literally had maybe two people contact me, it was kept so quiet at work, that some people thought I was on holiday two months after I left. A few more people stayed in contact, but again it would be me contacting them. I would get told "don't be a stranger". One person I got on well with, I asked if they could pick my p45 up as I needed it asap to send off to benefits. They were well aware that I had no income and financially things weren't good. So I text them and asked if they picked up, they said they hadn't, but would the next day, didn't hear anything, so text again, x who they had to get it from wasn't in until 2 days later, so would do it then. I heard noting, so on purpose I didn't contact this person for over a month. By that point I had got a letter from head office saying my p45 will be sent out. That month past, in the end I had to phone my ex-employer, they still had it, they held onto it for over a month for no reason. So I also contacted the said person above just to clarify they hadn't picked it up and could they respond asap due to the situation, they read the message, but didn't reply. Then later that night this is the text I got "hi, haven't heard from you in a while, did you get your money sorted". I wanted to lose it and say "obviously not as I don't have my p45 that you said you would collect, and by the way I haven't heard from you either". I am awful for not understanding communication between two people, I read things totally wrong, get attached when I think people are being nice, when it is probably politeness more than anything else. My lack of understanding communication has led to me losing it like never before. After the last few months I was referred back for urgent therapy and was put under the CMHT. The CMHT were not helping and when I finally told them about my aspergers diagnosis, they brought someone in to the room and said "they have OCD and has rituals about keeping routine". They ignored everything I said. They then made me an appointment 3 weeks later when I was meant to be in contact weekly due to medication change. Something happened later to this appointment, which led me writing a letter to be discharged. They have tried phoning and left a voicemail, but I cannot listen to it. There is lots more, but I don't understand how people can go three months without responding to a message. I had a letter from GP last week to call the surgery, but I can't, I don't want to see them anymore. There are issues with family where no one bothers about each other. No effort is made and no one ever contacts me to see how I am. I have serious issues with my mum and we went three months recently with no contact. I went to see her after getting a call from my uncle asking me to see her as he was worried and she isn't getting younger. To kind of get to the end of the story, I have a facebook account but in all the years have never made a status, but yesterday after everything spilt over, I made a nasty status saying I was going to experiment and act like others do. So if they don't hear from me anything up to three months it is because I have such a busy and fulfilling life that I can't even pop by and say "hi". I have never done anything like this ever, but I feel like I am going to explode. Last week I had an assessment for therapy (for the BPD diagnosis), was pretty much told, I am too unwell for therapy right now, if and when I start group therapy if I self-harm my place will be suspended, that I am not to talk about the past. That I provoke my mum by telling her what I feel let down by (as a child). They have enough notes on me so they don't need to know my history, oh and the group therapy is for me to talk about sexual intimacy as I have never been in a relationship. She wanted to know how I manage sexually having never been with anyone. That it is worrying. My head is so messed up and I am for ever losing people around me. Issue is I can come across so intelligent and adept, but I have learnt to be this way. You know when they say a swan is graceful but under the water their feet are kicking hard, that is me. I really don't know what to do, I am never nasty to anyone, always there to help when needed. But I cannot deal with relating to others and how relationships work. I cannot believe what I did yesterday. I haven't logged on since, because I am scared of what might have been said. No one has ever seen this, I turn everything inwards and any anger I feel towards anyone, I punish myself with. I literally have a housing support worker and one friend in my life at the moment. I am unemployed and pretty much spend everyday by myself. The worst thing is one of my parent's works with a child with autism and they show so much passion and involvement, they comfort the child when they are anxious, where I get no support. My parent does believe that I have aspergers, but then when at my uncle's a few weeks ago, they said "yeah you think you have that aspergers", funny that, you were in the assessment and answered all the questions about me as a child. Now you making me look like an idiot. Sorry for how long this is, I don't know where to turn. No one gets that at my age I cannot understand how people make and keep friends or how disagree in a relationship or to express opinion. I can boil over easily, but generally it is with those who I feel are ignoring my feelings, which I struggle to express, hence the self-harm.