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Norrinn Radd posted a topic in Help and AdviceIn fact, this is not my son, but the son of my girlfriend! But I consider it as such! I will explain in two words the strange situation. I am French living in France. I met the mother of this little boy on the Internet. We love each other and, in a year, I will live with her in England. Until then, Ben (his name) .. who is almost 13 years old, was very demanding and sometimes difficult. But he went to school .. but since 3 months, No! He stays cloistered at home, bad times in his room only, good times in the house, including the garden. We met each others for the first time 15 days ago. I spent 10 days with him. And after a short period of hide and seek, it seems he accepted me. He likes to say things very unpleasant, but in fact, if we not pay attention and we make humor, progressively, he is really nice. We watched the Olympics on TV, we played with the guinea pigs, we discuss a lot of things (he said he did not care), but in fact he was very interested. And then the fourth day, he asked me to get out being disrespectful, and I told him that it was his mother who commanded that I would not leave and only if it was she who asked me! And he was angry violently. And we had a physical fight. But after we had a great discussion and he really spoke to me normally, upset, angry, but so so totally normal! and then, two days later, two other fights, two long and very interesting discussions respectful. I said a big thank you for being so nice to talk with me, and I have noticed that he was touched by it! I am impressed by his intelligence. I talked to him like an adult. And he agreed to tell me he had an attitude problem. And I told him that it was not serious, he could learn to live with it .. and I sincerely believe. His disability is present, but at the same time, it seems that a small thing could change things. Now I'm back in France. And I think of him of course, and he talks about me to his mother, while saying he does not care, of course. But I'm worried for him and his mom because I think he will not return to school in September. I think he did not need a specialized school, he was the first in his class. he has, in my opinion, large capacities. The only problem is that it must be very hard to push for school .. His mom can not do that. She can be strict for some things that are in her power, but if he has decided can not go to school, she can not physically force. In addition, it is her little boy. Be strict with him physically is so emotionally intense. And she was not the physical strength to it! I wanted to know your opinion on this? I met the CAMHS staff, very patient and kind, but when these people are there (1 or 2 hours per week) Ben asleep (or pretend) .. and do not want to talk with them. I don't want to say bad things on CAMHS, but i must admit they are useless, not for his mom, but for him. If I was there, I think we could, she and I, do something. I do not pretend that it would be easy .. not at all. But he is intelligent and honest. By dint of discussion and patient, strict or gentle, knowing that a man and a woman who loves him watching over him, I think he would find the way to school and the outside world. But for now, my girl friend (and soon my wife) is alone in the daily life. Ben's dad is away. he is probably carrying Asperger's syndrome too, so any relationship is difficult for him. In addition, Ben absolutely does not wants to see him. The only thing that could make Ben's dad is paying a school, even if it is expensive. This gentleman, I do not know, seems capable of great coldness, it is difficult for him to get in empathy. But at least he is aware of his responsibilities and, if asked factual things, he will be there I really think. Ben can be cold too .. but suddenly, after a "fight", he is so truly like everybody. I must say that, in these moments, Asperger syndrome is dissolved. But only for a time. When the pressure drops, he returned to his room and becomes the little dictator cold he is not. And even adorable, you should always be careful not to upset him. Which is impossible because life is full of contradictions. For now, he lives in a hyper-protected world: his room, TV, garden with guinea pigs (which he takes great care), and his mother so nice and understanding. The crucial question, in fact, even if it raises many other questions, is "how, in this situation I discribe, doing the best to make him back to school? "... Thank you in advance for your answer, if you have one. And sorry if my english is not perfect, I am French:-) Cordially Laurent