feeling alone

[claire33]

Hi all

 

Why is it sometimes no matter how many people you talk or try to get help from you still feel very much alone!!!!

I often find myself thinking am i doing enough or is there something more i could be doing???

if there is i dont know what!!

everytime i seem to turn a corner it seems something pulls me right back, does it ever get any better or is this a lifelong quest to search for the answers to the unknown only to find there are none?

My kids are my life and i would never change that, however a day in the life of normality is my only wish is this being selfish???

I am constantly tired and seem to go over the same things day in day out and its driving me insane

my family live quite a way from me and no matter how much i say to them they never really offer any help, i dont want to ask them, as i know how i struggle aand wouldnt want to put that on them.

Any ideas anyone????????

[UltraMum]

No ideas cos ion pretty much the same boat but lots of :

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[bikergal]

No, you're not being selfish. I find the battles just go on and on. I'm still fighting for dd1 (13, atypical autism) but there are times when you just want to give up and you feel like there's no fight left in you. It does wear you down, but give yourself a break. I'm afraid I don't have any answers...but you're not alone.

 

<'> <'> <'>

[dooday24]

i havnt got any ideas as i feel exactly how u feel sending u lots of these <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Lautre]

Just like the others, dont feel selfish I think we all feel like this at times, some for longer periods than others, it's perfectly normal. I found joining a group called Contact a Family for people with children with disablities a godsend. We meet up once a week have tea/coffee, talk cry laugh together. Sometimes we do art activities and this year some going out days have been arranged (lunch or evening)Oh and pamper days too! See if you can find an organisation in your area and dont be afraid cos we're all in the same boat (in a way). Good luck!

[Bagpuss]

Claire,

 

I think how you are feeling is felt by many of us. Maybe if your family do offer to help, you could take them up on their offer. Are there any support groups locally? We've found these to be really helpful to meet up with other families going thru what we are. Sometimes I've found just having a cuppa with another parent, chatting about everyday things we can both relate to gives me a huge boost. The feelings of isolation can be so overwhelming, and its so important to try to connect to those who can offer help and support. I spent so long projecting an image to all and sundry that everything was just fine, that I got to be a dab hand at it, and it took me a long, long time to admit I wasn't and seek help. My GP has been really helpful. Take good care of yourself <'> <'> <'>

Edited January 20, 2007 by Bagpuss

[elun1]

<'> <'> Hi Claire <'> <'>

Sorry you're feeling so down. I can really relate to what you're saying. You do need some kind of respite, have you had a Carer's Assessment from SS? Or any kind of assessments? My son is autistic and we get 6 hrs per fortnight. It took a while to sort out but it helps me spend some quality time with my other little boy. It still never seems enough though which probably sounds selfish but that's how I feel. I was feeling like you a few weeks ago, went to GP - lucky to have a lovely GP - and asked for help from my son's school - they referred us to some Positive Intervention Behavioural Support Team (or something like that!) We haven't heard from them yet, but just telling someone helped. I hope you get some support soon

Sending you lots of <'> <'> <'>

Elun

[claire33]

Hi elun

 

How do i go about getting an assesment from SS and what do i need to tell them????

[mossgrove]

Hi elun

 

How do i go about getting an assesment from SS and what do i need to tell them????

 

Claire

 

 

Try this link: http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly....1038&a=4322

 

Scroll down a bit for the part on writing to Social Services.

 

Good luck!

 

Simon

[lisa35]

Claire. know what you mean,its so so isolating, often apart from work hubby and I dont socialise/ talk to other adults.Our son is our life, but other parents just dont get it

Think we also "protect" friends and family from our day to day grind and difficulties cos it always sound like we are moaning!!!! Maybe we have to tell family, say you know what our lives are hard!

Lisa xxxxxxx

[elun1]

Hi Claire

Sorry I've been at work today so only just read your message. Where I live we have a children's centre called NCH and some families with disabled children get a key worker. My key worker carried out an 'initial assessment' but I think any Social worker can do one of these. From this they decide whether to carry out a more detailed 'core assessment'. In our case they didn't but sent another social worker from the children with disabilities team and she talked to me for ages (some difficult questions) They agreed we needed respite and and that stage I got 3 hrs per fortnight. I then had a separate assessment from a lovely social worker called a carers assessment which is meant to look at the needs of the whole family.

As you may not have an NCH, I'd ring your local Social Services and ask for a full assessment of your family's needs.

hth Elun xxxx