mummy Report post Posted February 20, 2007 My 13 year old although AS is also pretty mainstream. He is doing well at high school and next week he and a few others from his German class are going on an exchange trip to the Rhine Valley for 8 nights. There will be 30 pupils and three staff members. Although going out as a group during the day, my boy will, like the others, be staying alone with a host family and expected to speak German whilst there (obviously) during the evenings and over the weekend. He is understandably nervous at the thought of staying with total strangers who don't have English as their first language, and has said in recent days he doesn't want to go! We are proud that he has decided to go but I am worried that he will be unhappy being that far away from home and security. We felt it best not to tell the host family of his AS for fear of them worrying about it, and my boy does not know I am concerned about his enjoyment of the trip. Just wondering if any of you have sent their Aspies off on an exchange trip and if so how they got on? Any tips for helping him to feel secure? mummy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted February 20, 2007 Wow, the fact that he feels like going on that trip is quite something, there is no way my 13 year old would even feel secure enough to go and stay somewhere else where I wasn't, even if it was only 1 minute up the road... Anyway, I can't help regarding the exchange, though my eldest has done a French exchange we had trouble obtaining a passport for him, so in the end he couldn't go though we did have the French lad here. All I can say is, having been in Germany myself, they all seem to speak very good English, and though it is supposed to be an exchange, they will expect to speak quite a bit of English with your son (as we spoke French with the French boy). Personally I would tell the other family about his AS, so they know what to expect and what to avoid. Would you let your son stay with strangers in your local area without them knowing? Germany is a long way off and if something goes completely wrong because he can't cope, it'll be somewhat difficult to go and reassure him... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted February 21, 2007 Hi, I am not a parent, but I do have AS, and I did do a German exchange while I was just 14. Of course he is nervous, that is normal and natural with something like this. Do his teachers have anything reassuring to say? Can they make sure he has a telephone number he and you can contact one of the English teachers on, if he does need someone nearby to help sort anything out? I am sure the family will have been given a phone number anyway in case of any problems, because with children this young, there is bound to be someone who gets awfully homesick. The family will expect him to have trouble understanding the language, and will speak slowly and clearly to him, making sure he understands things. His AS may not be so apparent in a foreign country, where they will be expecting him to be culturally different to their family. It depends on his main symptoms. If he has a lot of difficulty with adapting his routine without warning, it would be best to explain this, so they can let him know in advance the plans for the day. If he has sensory issues with food, it would be best to explain that. I was undiagnosed at the time, so my host family knew nothing of my difficulties. I did find that I did not like a lot of the food, but they always made sure I got something to eat. I did find it hard work being with other people all the time, although I was really lucky and got my own bedroom. I found it hard not knowing what I would be doing every day, but I managed to cope with it. I had a really good time actually. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mummy Report post Posted February 21, 2007 Hi, I am not a parent, but I do have AS, and I did do a German exchange while I was just 14. Of course he is nervous, that is normal and natural with something like this. Do his teachers have anything reassuring to say? Can they make sure he has a telephone number he and you can contact one of the English teachers on, if he does need someone nearby to help sort anything out? I am sure the family will have been given a phone number anyway in case of any problems, because with children this young, there is bound to be someone who gets awfully homesick. The family will expect him to have trouble understanding the language, and will speak slowly and clearly to him, making sure he understands things. His AS may not be so apparent in a foreign country, where they will be expecting him to be culturally different to their family. It depends on his main symptoms. If he has a lot of difficulty with adapting his routine without warning, it would be best to explain this, so they can let him know in advance the plans for the day. If he has sensory issues with food, it would be best to explain that. I was undiagnosed at the time, so my host family knew nothing of my difficulties. I did find that I did not like a lot of the food, but they always made sure I got something to eat. I did find it hard work being with other people all the time, although I was really lucky and got my own bedroom. I found it hard not knowing what I would be doing every day, but I managed to cope with it. I had a really good time actually. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mummy Report post Posted February 21, 2007 Thanks Tally. It is really helpful to hear it from someone who has actually been through it. Yes he has phone numbers of his teachers that are going and he has a good excuse not to try new foods as he has a nut allergy (The host family are well aware of this). Personally I think he will cope with the routine change as he has been on residential trips before and he expects them to be different so can prepare himself. His teacher has given him an itinery too. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it. Did you get homesick at all or did you find the evenings flew by? mummy x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble_rocks Report post Posted February 21, 2007 LOL I also did a French exchange trip but was stuck with a partner with nothing in common with me!! She liked Horses and lived on a Stud Farm!! I only lasted 2 days out of 7 becasue I had a severe asthma attack and got rushed to hosptial and then got made to go home !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madme Report post Posted February 21, 2007 I have no dx. Am nearly 40 but increasingly feel that I am an undx aspie.My son is dx and my DD has some traits. Hubbie is Im convinced on the spectrum. Just to let you know that I went on lots of exchanges as a teenager. I found them difficult but I learnt a lot. I studied languages at Uni and feel that I would never have got that far without that time spent abroad " en famille". If you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted February 22, 2007 I didn't get homesick. We were kept busy with activities every evening, so there wasn't really time to get homesick. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
