found this

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

http://www.mindsandhearts.net/gfx/pdf/Mana...ituation%20.pdf

 

not sure it would work here but gonna print it off anyways

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[Mumble]

I think that's very interesting and a useful resource for people who don't have much experience/training but who might be in a situation where they have to deal with meltdowns.

 

However, I had two issues:

 

Firstly (and at one point it does say this) - it's very important not to come over as patronising. It also assumes that the person having the meltdown still has enough control to respond in some way which is not always the case. I actually think that the most important advice on there is, if necessary and the context permits, to give space (and perhaps to maintain control from a distance).

 

Secondly, and most importantly for me, it needs to be remembered that meltdowns are not always induced by anger. For me, anger is hardly ever a cause (in fact, not since I was very young). I experience meltdowns because of extreme sensory overload, where I am unable to perceive or control my environment, or where my environment is painful to me. Here, the best thing is for the removal of the stimulus - but that requires someone to have the capacity to see that a paricular stimulus, that may be no problem, or even enjoyable to a NT, is the cause of my pain.

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

ooh i get the "dont talk to me like i sttoopid" in the nice slow voice

and she never has any control so i am not seeing this as a big thing

but i am in desparate mode cos of how bad last one was, i know there wont be another one for a few months

i think they are coming from not feeling like she fits in, insisting that she needs to do things like others when it hard,

the last one it has unfolded was on a day that i think she was out of it all day

but she dont do it at school, she saves it for home, school see her as an angel

thank you for insight tho it realy helps

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[Guest Lya of the Nox]

took it to work ( mates at work were here last week mid meltdown)

and they laughed as i did when i read it thorughly

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[Minxygal]

I have to agree with the comment about meltdown not being induced by anger. In the case of my son anxiety is the reason for meltdown. I think this list focuses too much on trying to rationalise a situation, something that isn't possible at all with my son at when he has reached this point he has already 'shut down'

[KarenT]

A lot of it is similar to some of the anger management strategies I've been using with J since about October, quite successfully too. But IMO prevention is better than cure and I always find it's best to avoid the frustrations that lead to meltdown in the first place. I don't really think anger management can be tackled on its own - it has to incorporate all the other issues such as sensory, environmental and emotional factors - if you can successfully tackle those then you're part way there to managing the meltdowns because they should limit themselves naturally.

 

Just my ten pennorth.

 

Karen

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[mandyque]

Once a meltdown is in progress I think there is little that you can do to stop it really, unless you know that a certain thing will help to calm your child down, a special toy or twiddler or something. I know once my dd has started screaming there is nothing else I can do most of the time but let it pass and give as little interaction as possible apart from to keep her safe. Reasoning would never work with her, she can't understand most of what I say anyway so compromise is out of the question and I can't persuade her verbally.