Worn out with ds#2 (3)

[jlp]

Ds#2 is 3 1/2 and has become extremely difficult from about 2 1/2. Up until then apart from him not sleeping (he does now) and real problems stopping breast feeding and getting him to accept food (he was 2 1/4) he was no bother at all.

 

But particuarly since starting nursery he's been a nightmare with huge tantrums. He really is like jeckyll and hyde.

 

Today he didn't want his bottom wiped ('that's the wrong thing to do') when I explained he had to as he'd get a sore bum and it would get on the new carpets he said he wanted poo on the new carpets) when I eventually did it by force he's clawed my face to bits, tried to bite me and had a huge tantrum. Every thing needs to be on his terms down to tantrums about me putting the ham in the fridge! Or not getting out of the car

 

There's nothing hugely pointing to asd, he's sociable (but can hit) makes eye contact, no strange preoccupations like ds#1 had (fans etc from a young age), no 'special interests'. He does like numbers but I don't think that'll be unusual for 3 year olds (they're learning their numbers at nursery)

 

I'm really feeling down today after a horrible week and a particularly bad morning.

[Bagpuss]

Jlp <'> <'>

 

Our youngest dd was particularly like this. She didn't hit out at us, but everything had to be on her terms, and I felt completely and utterly controlled. It used to get me so down It got to the point where we would do anything to avoid the screaming and shouting and she was totally in charge It's draining isn't it, as everything becomes a battle, even the most innocent of things.

 

She is 6 now, and still likes to control to a certain degree, but no so much. The Early Bird Plus course taught us alot, and we used her obsessions etc to our advantage. We used visual charts and stickers with rewards to try and motivate her, and they did work when she was younger. We were also advised to ignore "bad" behaviour, so long as it isn't dangerous etc, and use lots of positive praise for "good" behaviour that previously we wouldn't of praised (like queuing well, waiting etc). She also now tries to avoid adult disapproval, which again, works in our favour. I think school has helped too as she can't control everything around her there.

 

Hopefully your ds may become less controlling as he gets older.......I just wanted to let you know that it can get better <'> <'>