what on earth is going on?

[soraya]

My son has just started urinating in the corner of his bedroom floor!!! When i asked him why he just said he had funny feelings and had to do it.{ Nick has lots of funny feelings!!}. Even when he was made to clear it up i still caught him doing it again this morning.I am at my wits end already with Nick, but this is just awfull behaviour, my husband is going mad over this but Nick says he cant help it[by the way he is 13!!!]. Has anyone out there had this problem?

[shadow cat]

actually i have a 13 year old daughter who is doing the same thing except its on my computer chair ,i have tried everything from Pec's to signs everywhere to taking her to the toilet on a regular basis ,and like you i really don't know what to do any more she is non verbal but has been excellent with going to the toilet till a few months ago ,i have had her checked for a water infection but she is fine I'm sorry i cannot offer advice but i am there with you ,its got really bad she just sits there and does it ,it is so bloomin frustrating

[soraya]

actually i have a 13 year old daughter who is doing the same thing except its on my computer chair ,i have tried everything from Pec's to signs everywhere to taking her to the toilet on a regular basis ,and like you i really don't know what to do any more she is non verbal but has been excellent with going to the toilet till a few months ago ,i have had her checked for a water infection but she is fine I'm sorry i cannot offer advice but i am there with you ,its got really bad she just sits there and does it ,it is so bloomin frustrating

Thanks for replying shadow cat, its good to know i am not alone, the thing is Nick has aspergers and is very verbal but he still cant tell me why he does it. We have an appointment with CAMBS tommorow this will be a challenge for them!!!Still dettol are making a fortune out of me!!!!

[lynda4]

I don't have any reasons for the behaviour but if its always the same corner, could you put a bucket there? I'm not being flippant, you'd still need to address what's causing it and help him to change but as it might take some time to do that, this could be a temporary solution. When ds has done odd things like that and can't explain himself, it has sometimes been difficult to shift the behaviour because neither he nor you knows why. It might also help him to remember that it should be in a receptacle and not on the carpet and perhaps easier for him to move back to the toilet later on. As you don't know what's going on in his head at the mo, and neither does he, I think it might be best to play it down a little. I can understand you feeling shocked and maybe angry with him for this but if you make a big issue, it might make the behaviour stick more, IYSWIM?

 

Maybe he has some issue with doing it in a toilet generally? You could ask him if he wees anywhere unusual when he's out of your home - probably not but worth asking. It could be an issue with your own toilet specifically, like you've redecorated it or something. Or it could be that he particularly wants to do it in his bedroom, maybe because that's his personal space and he feels more private, or 'safe' there? As he's highschool age, has he had any problems with going to the toilet at school? I know bullying, or at least imtimidation and teasing often goes on in school toilets. Because of this, two of my boys (ds1 and ds3) trained themselves to hold it in, all through the school day and drank less to help them do it! DS3 still has problems with constipation because of the habits learned at school.

 

I didn't know anything about this til years later, they never told me and they didn't have support at school, so no clues from there. I knew they weren't drinking as much as I'd expect but they had just said at the time they didn't feel thirsty. Neither dd or ds2 drink much either, but that's got nothing to do with bullying, its just how they are naturally. I have to keep reminding them and bringing them drinks. I know for certain they haven't been scared of school toilets because they've both got extra help at school and are allowed to go to the disabled loos.

[lorryw]

Is it possible he has relieved himself somewhere other than the loo, perhaps out on a walk or something?

I know its really hard but I would clean it up with as little fuss as possible and not mention it to him. Sometimes the more attention paid to a behaviour the harder it is to extinguish. Lets face it, having a wee in the corner of the room gets a reaction everytime and sometimes the reaction and attention feeds the behaviour.

[curra]

My son used to do the same for years and I even had to remove the carpet in his bedroom and lay vynil floor which I washed everyday. He couldn't say why he did it. He's also afraid of the dark so I thought that walking to the loo in the night might be at the root of the problem. But leaving a light on at night didn't stop his weeing on the floor. The only thing that HAS helped is a portable loo like the ones used in hospitals. He likes it so much that he also uses it in the bathroom instead of the toilet. I now have to remember to move it from his bedroom to the loo and back to his bedroom at nights (and keep it clean) but that is a lot better than wiping wee off the floor!! Just an idea

 

Curra

[soraya]

My son used to do the same for years and I even had to remove the carpet in his bedroom and lay vynil floor which I washed everyday. He couldn't say why he did it. He's also afraid of the dark so I thought that walking to the loo in the night might be at the root of the problem. But leaving a light on at night didn't stop his weeing on the floor. The only thing that HAS helped is a portable loo like the ones used in hospitals. He likes it so much that he also uses it in the bathroom instead of the toilet. I now have to remember to move it from his bedroom to the loo and back to his bedroom at nights (and keep it clean) but that is a lot better than wiping wee off the floor!! Just an idea

 

Curra

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply, i will def try out some of the ideas, especially the portable toilet one. I do try to clean up with little fuss but my husband gets really angry and says Nick should do it himself!!

[curra]

Soraya

 

There are portable toilets in all shapes, sizes and prices. I bought a cheap one like the portable urinal in this link:

 

http://hss.uk.net/index.php?main_page=adva...portable+urinal

 

M has been using it for more than a year and it's still not smelly (washed everyday with toilet cleaner).

 

Curra