Can I waffle on a bit?

[jlp]

Ds is in Y3 and started this year with a statement for the first time. Apart from the full time 1-2-1 support, as far as I can establish none of the other stuff is happening - visual timetables, social skills, training for staff etc. I did pluck up the courage to ask for a home school diary which I write in but no-one ever replies or even reads I suspect. After a good relationship with his teacher last year (before she was off sick for a term) where there was loads of good stuff going on and excellent communication (unstatemented at that point) I'm feeling a lack of communication this year. All seems to be ok but it's hard to go from hearing lots which was excellent as we could discuss things at home to hearing very little.

 

Ds doesn't tell me anything much about school either, it just doesn't interest him to talk about!

 

He did mention yesterday however that some older boys are pushing him and calling him names every playtime (it's his first year in the junior yard)

and when he goes to a staff member he gets told off as the boys then tell on him (I'm guessing ds retaliates - actually I'm guessing that ds now targets them in 'revenge' attacks as he needs to feel 'justice' if that makes sense) It's hard to tell exactly what is happening whether it's turned into a mutual 'we don't like you' game or if they are targetting him. Ds says he tells them again and again to leave him alone but they don't (and I can see why as he gives a fantastic reaction - ignoring people is something he's never been able to manage, particularly if he feels wronged).

 

I've been in to see the teacher for a very quick word this morning and she said she'd try and find out who the boys were but ds said, when I asked, that no-one has spoken to him about it. Today he said one of them had done something (not sure what) so he had kicked the boy - I don't think any staff were aware of this.

 

Ds seems quite happy with the world still (maybe this rivalary is adding an excitement to his playtime) and not partiularly worried or upset. Dp says to leave it and has told ds that if anyone hurts him to hit them back since going to the staff hasn't had any effect and I'm still worrying about whether to mention it again and look overprotective or that I think my child in an angel (and ds is usually well able to stick up for himself and not remotely angelic) or leave it until something happens and people do want to take notice.

 

They also apparently do the same to ds' friends but my feeling is that ds is the main target purely because of how he will react (I'm guessing shouting, retaliation, creeping around after them)

 

Sorry for the waffle - this time last year I was absolutely over the moon with school and all they were doing but it's the lack of communication and not knowing what is happening that's upsetting me. I asked 4 times at the end of last term, once in writing about his summer review and never got an answer yet (or a review) and most of the things used to support him (reward schemes, his 'area' etc) were withdrawn without notice or us being informed when his regular teacher went off sick.

[caren]

We had same problem last term we spoke to TA nothing happened so we went to headmaster and the book , visual timetable and work station were put into place , you can at anytime call a review but first speak to head if that does'nt work call a review , does he get 1 on 1 in breaks and dinner maybe would be a good time to ask for one

 

good luck

[zaman]

It might be worth asking for a meeting with the SENCO if you don't feel you are getting anywhere with the teacher, as s/he tends to have overall responsibility for statemented kids in the school.

 

For what it is worth I had a similar year in reception, where my main concern wasn't so much what went on in the classroom as the playground. The unstructured time was a nightmare for my son, and it took a lot of work to get it right (in my case what did it was getting an autism outreach worker in to advise the school).

[jlp]

Thanks you two.

 

I'm feeling slightly better this morning as I had a word with one of ds' friends Mums and her son came home with a black eye yesterday so she's gone in to see the deputy head (also senco) - it seems it's the Y4 boys in the adjoining classroom.

 

I think my problem is I never know whether I'm over-reacting or nit picking because you get so used to having words all the time sometimes I wonder if I need to hang back (but then I worry!). Playtimes surprisingly have never been a problem for G, it's usually the classroom side of things. However we had huge problems where we used to live with children picking on him if he as much as rode his bike in the street and one of these children is one of the Y4 boys - it was a nightmare and I'm not prepared for it to start at school as he's always had friends and enjoyed playtime.

 

So at least somethings been said and it's not from me for a change!

 

Maybe it's more of a case of the Y4s being terratorial (sp?) with the new children in 'their' yard, rather than an obvious bullying G because he's different.

Edited September 27, 2007 by jlp